Goat wrote:I'm taking OP at face value and taking her word that she wouldn't actually engage in anything physical with Tom.
Sometimes it's easier to fantasise about a perfect person (or what you think as perfect) when you don't have to live with them.
Imagine the little things, mess, toilet smells, not helping out. Also imagine being with someone who could so easily cheat on his wife with someone he works with. You'd never trust him.
And then look at what you have, what you know.
The grass isn't greener
I agree. Thankfully I haven't actually been in this situation. (Says it all about the men I encounter at work. Or maybe my own DH being such an all-out Adonis
) But to add to Goat's list above, I would imagine my kids being a major deterrent. Or specifically, the thought of putting them through the horror show that would likely ensue from following through on a work fling. That would (I think) stop me cold in my tracks.