friends

[sinky]

so i havent many close friends ,i find it hard to click with people more than superficially.i met a woman a few years ago who i wish i had never laid on eyes on,she tuned out to a swf.she basically copied everything and any friends i had she took essentially,she has a fake personna set up,the truth i much duller.i called out friendship quits .lately other people have unfriended me who are also friends with her.people whjo as far as i can think have no reason to do this to me.they are not important but i am feeling paranoid i guess.my best friend has a new man and only wanst to meet when he is at work at night which doesnt suit me,and makes me feel a bit like a filler,only good for when she has notnhing else on,she often gives me a bs reason not to see each other and then i see her with her new man .thats understandable and i am trying to have a thick skin but even that feels like its petering out.family i recently, cut off following some trauma,.i am so alone,i have a fab dh who works a lot.i am not feeling sorry for myself and am fully prepared to examine and see whats my fault in this,but i feel like me and friends dont work.its all a bit school girlish and i am in my mid thirties .i was thinking of joingin my local ica ,i would be the youngest but maybe thats what i need?is it a silly idea.ive tried bf groups,mummy groups,but its small place and the same people are everywhere and i say hello but its goes no further,it can feel embarrassing.am i a freak

[sinky]

just to add i have been in counselling re family trauma thing and counsellor said i have a pattern of having domineering friendships,~(in line with domineering mother history)which is true and then i eventually just crack and have enough.so i guess it me choosing incorrectly?but its not like i can go out and just pick friends is it???

[Mia]

You are not a freak . I totally know where you are coming from . I lived 6 years in a town and made no friends .
I have now moved , I feel more at home where I am and have managed to make more connections . I suppose I have changed a bit , but I prob didn't look in the right places before ?

Sometimes you need to be brave and believe you have something to offer as a friend . Def join ica , sounds like a great start .
Don't give up and believe it can work out .

M

[tea]

HOw come the others unfriended you after you detached from the other lady? Could you maybe get in touch with them, or is it not worth it?

Do join some clubs and societies; you will be ok.

[bluebetty]

You are not a freak. Sometimes people can be just plain mean. Throw in a few others who are thoughtless and a couple more who want to avoid conflict and you can end up in the situation in which you find yourself.

If you can, pick yourself up, work on not dwelling on your perceived faults and focus on joining groups so that you can get to know new people and be discerning about which are the nice ones. Avoid the domineering ones and the attention seekers! Great advice from Mia. Best of luck and mind yourself.

[m3g]

Better to have one true friend than people who pretend to be a friend, or just use you when it suits them. Concentrate on doing things you like, you'll meet people with the same interests and go from there.I am surrounded by "friends", who would call to me if I needed someone to just sit with me when i need someone? No-one. I hope you get what you need x