Marriage breakdown
Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2024 9:46 pm
Not much point going anon for this but would appreciate getting my thoughts out of my head. I actually can’t even tell the full story because it’s so off the walls but just a snippet or an overview I guess.
Sunday week ago my husband text me to end our marriage. We are married 13 years, together 18 years. I’m actually with him longer than I have been without him.
The week previous I had said something that he got thick about. I didn’t mean to hurt him or upset him, it was a comment about something we were going through, not intentionally said to hurt him at all. He slept on the couch that night.
Next morning he was cold so I was cold back, and I normally apologise and smooth things over but it was such an stupid thing he was annoyed with me over I said fuck that I’m not apologising right away. I was going to apologise but the more he ignored me I guess the more I ignored him. It’s his normal form to treat me with silent treatment, and honestly he has never apologised for anything in his life.
Roll on the following weekend, he is at a football match and he sends me a text breaking off our marriage. I clearly don’t love him if I can not speak to him for 8 days etc… that was the absolute final straw for me. He thought that little of me that instead of having a conversation with me he sends me a text. He has in the past spent weeks on end not talking to me over shite but when I actually show him what it feels like he breaks it off with me.
He has now realised what he has done and he is in bits. Didn’t give a shit any of the other times I have been in bits but now he knows what it feels like he is full of regrets.
But the problem is that he admitted he sent that message to guilt me into apologising etc, and it’s worked in the past so wanted it to work again.
I’m just so absolutely broken from being in a relationship with zero communication that I have completely given up. I’m far from perfect but every single issue has always been pinned on me, I have always papered over the cracks and apologised and moved on. Put up with being blamed for everything and I just can’t do it any more.
I have had counselling myself in the past and I have told him he needs counselling himself. I’m not willing to go to couples counselling when he won’t accept any blame or accept he is at any fault here, everything is still all my fault even now and he is unwilling to change unless I change but in my mind it’s him with the communication issues. I can’t do silent treatment, it almost killed me that one time but it’s his regular form.
We had previously had a row in November, again over shite, nothing major, but his threat then was if we ever have this row it’s over, so I’ve been walking on eggshells since then not to piss him off. But the threat of us being over has been an ongoing one for years.
I’m just exhausted and broken and life is just once again shit. Just feel like I can never actually catch a break.
Sunday week ago my husband text me to end our marriage. We are married 13 years, together 18 years. I’m actually with him longer than I have been without him.
The week previous I had said something that he got thick about. I didn’t mean to hurt him or upset him, it was a comment about something we were going through, not intentionally said to hurt him at all. He slept on the couch that night.
Next morning he was cold so I was cold back, and I normally apologise and smooth things over but it was such an stupid thing he was annoyed with me over I said fuck that I’m not apologising right away. I was going to apologise but the more he ignored me I guess the more I ignored him. It’s his normal form to treat me with silent treatment, and honestly he has never apologised for anything in his life.
Roll on the following weekend, he is at a football match and he sends me a text breaking off our marriage. I clearly don’t love him if I can not speak to him for 8 days etc… that was the absolute final straw for me. He thought that little of me that instead of having a conversation with me he sends me a text. He has in the past spent weeks on end not talking to me over shite but when I actually show him what it feels like he breaks it off with me.
He has now realised what he has done and he is in bits. Didn’t give a shit any of the other times I have been in bits but now he knows what it feels like he is full of regrets.
But the problem is that he admitted he sent that message to guilt me into apologising etc, and it’s worked in the past so wanted it to work again.
I’m just so absolutely broken from being in a relationship with zero communication that I have completely given up. I’m far from perfect but every single issue has always been pinned on me, I have always papered over the cracks and apologised and moved on. Put up with being blamed for everything and I just can’t do it any more.
I have had counselling myself in the past and I have told him he needs counselling himself. I’m not willing to go to couples counselling when he won’t accept any blame or accept he is at any fault here, everything is still all my fault even now and he is unwilling to change unless I change but in my mind it’s him with the communication issues. I can’t do silent treatment, it almost killed me that one time but it’s his regular form.
We had previously had a row in November, again over shite, nothing major, but his threat then was if we ever have this row it’s over, so I’ve been walking on eggshells since then not to piss him off. But the threat of us being over has been an ongoing one for years.
I’m just exhausted and broken and life is just once again shit. Just feel like I can never actually catch a break.