Read something I shouldn't have

[luxie]

And surely you can’t ‘cut off a colleague’ …?

[anon76]

Thanks Luxie. I was careless. I was under pressure, put my stuff down and left quickly. I can cut her off. We are in completely different departments. Our work paths do not cross at all

[CocoRose]

You said Mary wasn't there. Her son let you in. Then you said she was there.

Are you Mary???

[luxie]

You said Mary wasn't there. Her son let you in. Then you said she was there.

Are you Mary???

[Posher]

You said Mary wasn't there. Her son let you in. Then you said she was there.

Are you Mary???

That was when she returned the diary.

[Vino]

You said Mary wasn't there. Her son let you in. Then you said she was there.

Are you Mary???

I think Mary was there when she initially went up
to check if it was a charger she needed or her device was playing up.
When op returned the charger she also snuck back in the diary.
I would be amazed that Mary didn't notice her diary gone for 24 hours and that her son didn't just take the charger at the door.

[HeyJude]

If Mary was journaling when you arrived, surely she noticed that the diary was gone immediately? There's no way she didn't notice.

Btw to clarify I wouldn't set out to read someone's diary. But if I opened something thinking it was mine and saw my name in front of me, then of course I would. I wouldn't deliberately go looking through a diary though (know people who would though).

[Sally]

I’m a little confused by some of the detail of OP’s posts and for that reason can’t quite understand how this has all come about.

Having said that, it sounds like you’re upset OP.

I’m no goody-goody either but I know for a fact I wouldn’t read some else’s writing in a diary or journal - even if I opened it by accident. Strong statement I know! I say it with certainty as I found a diary that belonged to a work colleague, my boss’s boss at the time had left it at an event. I messaged him to say that I had it, told him that I hadn’t read or seen anything in the diary and that I would post it to him (I wasn’t going to see him that week).

I genuinely didn’t open it beyond the first page where I saw his writing - no idea what the detail was.

Afterwards he send me a thank you bunch of flowers ….I won’t lie, I did wonder of more than one occasion what was in that diary that warranted a thank you bunch of flowers

I would agree with Novbaby, this is between the two of you. I wouldn’t involve others at this point.

Take care

I think in that situation most people would do the same.
I wouldn’t read through someone’s journal/notebook/copy book etc, in a situation like you describe.
You looked at the first page , saw the different handwriting, nothing caught your eye and you closed it up.
I’d do the same.

But, if I opened it, thinking it was mine, and while it was registering with me that it wasn’t my handwriting, if I happened to see my name and something like “Sally is a thundering bitch”, well I’m sorry, but I’d be reading the rest of the paragraph!
And I’d say a good 95% of people would too. Not all of them would admit to it though

[Anon76]

No I’m not Mary . She was there when I picked charger up. Son let me in to return. He just opened door and let me in. I know him since he was a baby …he assumed she was there I think and told me to go home office. The desk had a pile of stuff on it/ untidy, like my own ! I think it’s feasible she didn’t notice it gone. She’s messaging me as normal and asking if all is ok as I haven’t responded

[Sparkly Pooh Bear]

A bit off topic why are people trying to pick holes in the OPs post. Sometimes when I'm posting I'm not 100% accurate in order to keep privacy and be anonymous, just changing minor details - not saying OP has done that - but analysising in detail would put me off looking for advice.

Anyway ack to the topic I couldn't keep up the pretence. Could you say to mutual friend that you think something is up with Mary/you've heard through the grapevine that she might have been bad mouthing you and see her reaction?

I couldn't continue the friendship but if I was in your situation I don't know how I would end it.

Sent from my SM-G970F using Tapatalk

[Willowing]

It is uncomfortable reading seeing people trying to pick holes as SPB says. She possibly did change some details or even if she did read something that she shoudn't really have been looking at , it is still a horrible thing to read awful stuff written about you by a friend. She asked for advice here and half the posts are trying to catch her out.

I think that however you read what you read I would have to let it be known to Mary. I wouldn't even care if she used it against you that you read it, she can't really as if the stuff she wrote was so awful then she can't moan about the fact you saw it, she still thinks it and was still pretending to be your friend. I would possibly say something like I am aware that you don't feel about our friendship the way I thought you did and I think it is time we called a day on the friendship. She might demand to know what you mean and how you know but you are not obligated to respond. I would then literally just cut her out. She possibly will say mean things and blame you but just keep strong and if your other friends are actually friends then they will want to hear your side too. I am not sure what else you can do, it is a horrible situation.

I can admit if I saw something with my name on it I would 100percent read it. I don't know how any person wouldn't.

[CocoRose]

I picked a hole sorry as I found the scenario is a bit confusing the way it was told and sounded a bit hard to believe and in the past there have been threads like this that weren't genuine but I got it wrong so apologies OP. I do understand it is upsetting as I said in my initial replies. I don't think I'd be happy to be someone's rock and then see myself discussed horribly. It would be a firm ghost from me and not sure she needs an explanation but if you still have concerns for her MH then maybe a slow ghost.

[Apple]

I just think you took her diary out of her room whether accidentally or not so you’ve forfeited any moral high ground here. Honestly I think you should forget about it now and move on. Cool off the relationship if you feel too bad about it. If I was Mary I’d be absolutely livid that you removed and returned my diary like that. I’d find it hard to believe it was done accidentally tbh, most of those diaries are bulky.

[Clara]

Change jobs?
Being flippant but you read her diary, I’d just try to move on.

[Shining]

I've picked up a colleagues diary before. Put down my own stuff, all our diaries look the same, wasn't until I opened it that I realised it's not mine.
If I opened it to see my name, I'd read it: for a lot of us it would be human nature.
oP, I wouldn't confront Mary. I think she would spin it. You're aware now so it's time to pull back.