Strange query

[sooon]

God I forgot about the guardian thing.

Shining my brother just went to the local court when he needed to get his dd's passport renewed for her school tour, he said he had no idea where his ex wife was gone, just knew it was somewhere in the Far East, he just had to sign an affidavit that there was no contact. As Sally says start making it know offically that he is not contactable, keep a copy of the email saying he no longer works for the company, I wouldn't be letting on that you know what country he is in.

[Elsie]

yes as others have said but also to protect your future, that if he decides he wants to see his kids or come 'home' when it all goes tits up with this marriage which sounds like it probably could! Dont know if you are renting or own your house but speak to someone if his name is on the deeds.....dont want him coming back looking for half the house.

[Smoke]

You need to speak to a family law expert and explain your situation.
Your ex, father to your children, is awol, not contributing towards their upkeep anymore, has left his job and is actively blocking both you and his children from being able to contact him. (Imagine being that much of an ass that you dont even care if your children aren't able to contact you!)
Get the clock ticking. Keep your records.
Talk to someone who might know your entitlements. Working family payment maybe, since your income is reduced.
Ultimately youre well rid of him though.

[NDM]

yes as others have said but also to protect your future, that if he decides he wants to see his kids or come 'home' when it all goes tits up with this marriage which sounds like it probably could! Dont know if you are renting or own your house but speak to someone if his name is on the deeds.....dont want him coming back looking for half the house.

I agree totally with this. You need to protect you and your family from this person. He could come riding over the hills, playing the hero back for his kids etc..
Make sure he can't bluff your kids into following him when they are 18 either.

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[HeyJude]

It's possible to get a passport etc. without the other guardian if s/he cannot be found. Lots of people do it every day.

Get legal advice as others have said and if there is a shortfall in income, then talk to the DSP and see what is available to make up the shortfall if you fall under the threshold. I presume you are already claiming the tax-credit for lone-parent (or whatever it is now called) and you may be entitled to whatever FIS is now called. There are supports out there. Just please get some good advice so that you can secure both yours and your kids futures without him in it.

[Shining]

Thanks everyone so much.
I'm still shocked that he would be so deceitful. To walk away from your own flesh and blood..(although I shouldn't be surprised: I had to bring him to court to pay maintenance in the first place).

[Goat]

Shining I just found this thread through another you commented on.
Just a thought that a solicitor might be able to answer, if/when his father passes away, if he is the sole inheritor could something be done so that you can divorce him and get guardianship etc sorted, but that asset can be taken when the time comes?

[Shining]

His father is already dead and his father deserted his mother when he was a baby, and never supported the family at all. This is seemingly lost on the man himself now (who prides himself on what a "good", ethical person he is).
He didn't inherit anything from him.

I suspect that he plans not to return to Ireland so there will be no inheritance from him anyway (he's not obliged to have his children inherit; it's his choice). He owns nothing but his wife may have assets.

[Shining]

And also just to thank you all. Thank you for your contributions.
Still blocked on everything, as are children. Hardly comes up on Google search now.

[Goat]

Apologies, I misread the thread earlier and thought he had family alive.
Sorry that ye are being put through this

[Groucho]

Jesus, Shining, I'm just reading this thread now. What a complete and utter bollocks. I'm so sorry he is putting you through yet more rubbish.

[Shining]

Thought I would update this thread.
He seems to be in Ireland now. That much I managed to discern.
So six months of maintenance should elapse before you can go to court to seek redress. I thought that this should be simple enough. Surely the court could ask Revenue or DSP for his address?
No, it's up to you to find out. You get no State support in this. So if I don't have a current home or work address then I cannot summons him to court.
In desperation I wrote to his employer asking if they could assist me. Apparently he has left. This is a huge shock. You have no idea how important his job was to him; he thrived on the status, very well paid...I doubt anyone has ever left.
I'm now leaning towards the opinion that he had to leave.

Anyway I'm truly stuck now. Still no contact whatsoever. He did briefly unblock one child on Snapchat and when she tried to call him, he blocked her again. That's what I'm dealing with.

I'm extremely worried about the future. I'm someone who has a good job, just outside the limits for everything (might get the gp visit card now) but I'm in the red every month. Dreading Christmas. Honestly don't know how I'll manage third level.

Since this has happened me I've been in contact with lots of other women with similar stories. Men who disappear, who claim they can't afford it, who only work cash in hand. When I say it's on you to try and fight for your children, it really is just on you.
There is a recommendation for a maintenance agency to be established sitting before Government for over 18 months. It's badly needed.

So I'll keep searching. But without an address I'm stuck.

[Shining]

Again any advice always welcome!

[tippexile]

I'm sure you have already thought of this but can you send the summons etc to his Mother's home if she is still alive or any of his siblings?

[Shining]

I don't have his mother's address. I do know where she used to live but I think she has moved since. Also I honestly don't think that would suffice. I've been told I need either his home address or a work address that he is regularly at. Otherwise he can claim the summons was sent incorrectly/he didn't get it and it doesn't count.

Tbh it is a complete crock of shite. It is so easy for him to evade his legal responsibilities.