My daughter was sexually assaulted

[CocoRose]

Hi and also very sorry to read this. The advice above is hopefully of use on helping your DD. Is there a possibility of confiding in a relative and getting a loan of a few hundred to tide you over for Christmas, just to put away that worry? Or would your employer consider some form of a loan to you. They'll know you've been in crisis. Obviously I know not many employers can assist but just brainstorming for you. Or phone MABS, tell them your in a financial crisis and they may have advice on that.

[Posher]

Would your GP sign you and your DH out of work on stress/anxiety which could give you access to ill health social welfare?

[Sep08]

I know a 17 Yr old who was sexually assaulted. She got some counselling that was arranged through the garda liason officer - maybe this might be an option.
Her phone was taken for awhile but it was returned after a few days.


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[Tinky]

I can’t pm and have no advice - I think RDR covers the practical things.

I just wanted to offer you if it’s any good to your DD an iPhone 8 as I’m about to upgrade and it’ll just sit in the drawer. Maybe will tide her over. If it’s of interest please pm me.


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[Distraught]

Thank you all for the replies

Dh is self employed and no work means no pay, I am trying to do a few days but leaving her to horrendous, I worry about her all the time as she cut herself quite badly in the days after the rape
she hangs out of dh so it gives me some time to do a few hours work but my heads not in it
My job would never give an advance

She goes from being hyper and happy to hating herself and her life, thinking it will always be like this, she hasn’t gone back to school and I’m not going to force her, it’s the only thing she can control at the moment, that and her sleeping patterns ( she sleeps most days and is awake all night, which means none of us are sleeping properly )

I’m going to try get her a phone on plan but I was told that with a new number I’d have to give a €500 down payment.. nothing it ever easy, is it

The SATU have rang to check on her and she is due back for more swabs and bloods soon so I’ll ask again about support, there was someone there the night she was brought in from the RCC, but again they only deal with adults, not teenagers

I don’t think I could ring Vincent de paul, there are others who are more needy, we have jobs just no money in the short term

I wouldn’t wish this in anyone, what happened to her is incomprehensible, she was in the wrong place at the wrong time , but she made it home and we are forever grateful that she is here with us , she kept her wits about her was very brave … I am so proud of her

[Goingagain]

I'm so sorry to read this, i really hope your daughter gets the support she needs, how soul destroying the poor girl and thinking of you being financially strained. Please call the VdeP they have emergency assistance.

I have a DD15 and would be happy to share a gift with you, please reach out if you feel this would help.

[Gismoet]

I can only imagine what your family is going through. It is every parents worst nightmare. All you want to do is take away the hurt. Life is just cruel. I would recommend that you read read ‘Salt + Ash’ by Sarah Grace. I know Sarah and she was assaulted in Dublin about 4 years ago. She gives a very raw and honest insight into how she was traumatised for a long time and what she needed in way of support from family and friends. She details her journey through the court system. She is currently raising awareness into how re-traumatising our judicial system can be. It may help you to understand what your DD is going through.

Maybe through angrybird or one of the admin we could organise some practical support. I would love to help but I know your family needs their privacy.

[yvonne12]

Sorry your family is going thru this. You can apply for exceptional needs payment with community welfare for the weeks off work. You will need payslip 3 months bank statements it's quicker for you to call to local social welfare office to collect form as we are experiencing delays with postage of form due to xmas post. If you fill and in some areas you can bring the forms and all required paper work back to the community welfare. Explain the situation in that you've nothing to survive on and if you've any gp letters etc attach them.

[Solas]

I'm so so sorry to read this, I can't offer any advice but just wanted you to know that we're all here to support you xxx

[mcmammy2]

I'm so sorry to hear this. I am sorry I cannot offer any advice. I also just wanted to let you know that we support you too.

[Dnwa]

I am so sorry to read this. Absolutely devastating on all levels . I hope your Dd and your family gets all the support you need.

Re Christmas keep it simple as long as your all together cosy thats all that she will want .

If you have a mortgage apply for a 3 month payment break, of you have any direct debits due out the end of the month syop them all , pay a small amount to each .

Definitely if possible confide in a trusted person family or Friend you will need this .

Contact citizens advice to see if you can claim anything they are way more helpful and resourceful then s.w.

If you have any out of pocket medical receipts for this year get them uploaded for your med 1 refund . If you have health insurance same and what they dont cover revenu pays on .

[Nodrog]

I'm sorry your daughter and your family are going through this.

I've a brand new in box Revlon Hair thing: if you think your DD might like it?
https://www.boots.ie/revlon-pro-collect ... r-10235019

If you pm me your address I will post it to you

[Penny]

I am so sorry to hear your daughter is going through this. I cannot imagine the pain and devastation you are all going through.

You have gotten some great advice here. I would recommend going to your GP and getting signed off work sick so at least you have some income coming in. Do your and your partners work have an employee assistance scheme - it would be good for you to also get some counselling. Our you could ring parentline and talk to someone and they may be able to offer you support and advice.

As others have said please contact citizens advice and St VdeP and confide in a someone in the family or a friend.

[Elsie]

This is just awful and will seem neverending. Its very hard to face each day. Please call on all your resources, family and friends and find someone for your dd to talk to although i know the first thing they will say is try and get back to some sort of normality as this helps hugely. You have both been there for your daughter but you cant stay in limbo and need to push forward. I think you should get yourself signed off sick and your husband needs to go back to work. Your daughter will understand that you need to have money to run the house let alone Christmas and you dont want to give her something else to worry about. Im sorry that probably sounds harsh but you are not able to think practically at the moment which is understandable. I dont know if you have other children but they need to see that you can face anything together and move forward. Dont know where you are but you if near D15 you can contact Genesis for councelling. if you are unable to pay thats not an issue at the moment. Same with VdeP if you explain to them they can help and when you are back on your feet further down the road you can always make donations to them. Wishing you the very best and hope that your daughter can get through this .... i know you arent making her go back to school but maybe she could start with half days .... again just to be in a safe environment and rebuilding her confidence.
you will get through this x

[Shining]

Please contact the St VdP for help- this is exactly what they are there for, to help with a crisis. Please contact them.