Joy-less all the time.

[Joyless]

Hello, I am a regular user so going anon,

For quite some time now, I have lost the joy in life. I have a constant meh feeling about everything and nothing gives me a feeling of joy anymore.
Things I should be excited about I just cant seem to enjoy anymore.
Trips we have gone on, and events we went to, now that we can again, leave me feeling flat and anxious.
I never feel happy anymore and the thought of spending time in the company of others feels like the last place I would rather be. I just want my own company all the time.
I am constantly worrying about everything and everyone in my family. And I exhausted all the time, but yet cant sleep properly when I go to bed.

I hate feeling like this and it’starting to affect my marriage as I am so serious all the time, so when my partner is being funny and lighthearted, I just find him annoying.

Can anyone relate to the way I am feeling and maybe help me figure out how to find the joy again?

[Unnamed Poster 8]

Post Deleted

[JennyC]

This was one of my symptoms of peri menopause. Is there any chance you’re at that stage in life?


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[OddSox]

It’s not the answer to everything but have a look at this and if it rings true then I’d suggest seeing a menopause specialist. I have felt the way you describe at times and it’s tough

https://www.themenopausehub.ie/symptom-checker

[docmcstuffins]

Would agree with OddSox and JennyC. I would never have associated it with peri-menopause but you are describing it exactly as I felt it. It is improving with HRT and the awareness of it as a symptom has helped me enormously. As mentioned above peri-menopause/menopause is not always the answer but it is worth considering.

[Joy-less]

Thank you all for replying to me.
I am 48. I have the mirena and I thought that by having it you don’t experience any menopause symptoms.
I will check out that link and make an appointment with my gp.

Thank you

[Joyless]

Thank you all for replying to me.

I am 48 and I have the mirena. I thought that it was supposed to stop symptoms of menopause?

I will check out the link.

Thank you

[Lady Madonna]

I'm reluctant to say try X, Y or Z as there are varying levels of joylessness and different ways to fix them but a therapist said to me once much of life IS joyless and mundane at this stage of our lives, we cook the same dinners and clean the same house and manage the wash the same clothes and manage the same social calendars for other people. It's largely necessary and there's not many ways of finding joy in any of it.
Can you think of any way that you can find joy? Anything? Was there a hobby or interest you wanted to do at a busier time in life that you couldn't do but maybe could make circumstances fit around it now? Can you plan a weekend away or day out that you can look forward to? It doesn't have to be big or expensive, just something that YOU want like a spa treatment or meal out or a break away? Mother's day is next weekend, if you can at all set aside some time for yourself, if not Sunday then Friday, Saturday or Monday.

If you can rule out menopause, could it be burnout? Either way a chat to the GP might clarify things for you, they see this all the time, particularly in women who have a huge mental workload.

[tippexile]

When I was going through depression/anxiety, I felt.like that all the time. Nothing made me happy. Life was just something I endured. I was annoyed with a lot of people for no reason. Everything was meh. Eventually my anxiety got so bad that I had to go to my gp. I started on medication and counselling.
Go to your gp, explain how you feel. I hope things get better soon.

[No1 babe]

Hormones . That’s the cause of your joy-less ness.
Doctor for bloods to see if you are lacking in anything

[Goose]

I recently listened to The Secret on Spotify, recommended to me by somebody I spoke to about feeling like that all the time.
I'm not usually one for self help books but this one certainly resonated with me and while it hasn't fixed everything it has made me correct my thinking more.

[callalily]

Thank you all for replying to me.

I am 48 and I have the mirena. I thought that it was supposed to stop symptoms of menopause?
Thank you

No, the mirena won’t do anything about loss of oestrogen, which is the ‘feel good’ hormone.

[Iamsoneedy]

Hormones . That’s the cause of your joy-less ness.
Doctor for bloods to see if you are lacking in anything

Not necessarily. What the OP describes sounds like depression to me. Please go to your GP. It might be menopause, it might not be. It isn’t the source of all problems.

[StarryNight]

Hormones . That’s the cause of your joy-less ness.
Doctor for bloods to see if you are lacking in anything

Not necessarily. What the OP describes sounds like depression to me. Please go to your GP. It might be menopause, it might not be. It isn’t the source of all problems.

Completely agree.
The menopause/peri menopause seems to be the current catch all for women in their late 30s onwards. I had a health issue recently and someone said it was "textbook" peri menopause. It wasn't. I needed a course of medication.

[Joyless]

Thank you for all the replys,

Lady Madonna, I have done the weekends away, as it happens I am just back from a long weekend away with my husband and kids. I felt like an outsider, as they were having lots of fun, and all I wished for was to be at home. Even when we met friends we havent seen in so long, I just didnt want to be there. I cant seem to shake it off. I keep telling myself to cop on, and smile and get involved, but I am just not feeling it. I have a couple of events and trips away booked in the coming months ahead, but I would rather not go to any of them.

I will make an appointment with my Doctor this week.