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January wrote: ↑Tue Jan 11, 2022 10:06 pm

Dobble wrote:

January wrote: ↑Tue Jan 11, 2022 9:42 pm You can't even get past security in the hospital to drop stuff to the ward it has to be left and brought up to her.

I'm going to get DH to keep trying tomorrow. The not knowing is horrific. She's so upset.

Is that st James’s? The security thing is familiar
Just keep on ringing the ward, I found morning the best time to get through
It really is awful for anyone going through it, hard enough having a loved one sick but to add the stress of this added in is not easy

No it's the Mater.

Ah sorry, sure I suppose they all have security drop off
Just keep trying the ward phone
Hope you get answers soon

It's just not acceptable. 2 weeks with no proper contact

I know it's not really the fault of the staff but you will just need to be a total pita. I'd be at the hospital already, causing a scene if needs be, until someone spoke to me

hotlegs wrote:January we also had this last year with my mother in law in CUH. My husband got so cross in the finish he drove up to the hospital & refused to leave until someone spoke to him. He explained to the nurse before he left home he would be doing this. They organized for the consultant to meet him. This was after days of no communication & endless calls in our part. It is incredibly frustrating & upsetting for all of you. Keep calling, ask to speak to the family liaison officer, I hate to say demand but really it looks like you are now at that stage... do not accept no for an answer.

We had to do this last year too. Actually go to the hospital and refuse to leave.
Horrendous stuff. He was in 3 hospitals and they were all similar (except icu in the mater).

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January wrote: ↑Tue Jan 11, 2022 10:56 pm

Milo wrote:We had the same in Vincents last year and my dad was delirious. It's inhumane. Esp for older people. Ask for social worker or geriatrics team even. I'm Sorry you are going through this. if I were you now I would look up all the numbers and get calling in the morning. I often found ringing the ward after 10 at night I got an answer. Worth a try.

Jesus Christ I can't contact the geriatrics team. she'd kill me. She would not define herself as geriatric.

Apologies, no offence intended. I assumed she is an older lady and I suggested geriatrics just as another option to try, in an effort to initiate some contact between yourselves and the hospital. Older person, upset etc.. They might be able to put something in place re contact.

Milo wrote:

January wrote: ↑Tue Jan 11, 2022 10:56 pm

Milo wrote:We had the same in Vincents last year and my dad was delirious. It's inhumane. Esp for older people. Ask for social worker or geriatrics team even. I'm Sorry you are going through this. if I were you now I would look up all the numbers and get calling in the morning. I often found ringing the ward after 10 at night I got an answer. Worth a try.

Jesus Christ I can't contact the geriatrics team. she'd kill me. She would not define herself as geriatric.

Apologies, no offence intended. I assumed she is an older lady and I suggested geriatrics just as another option to try, in an effort to initiate some contact between yourselves and the hospital. Older person, upset etc.. They might be able to put something in place re contact.

This puts a different slant on it . I assumed like milo you were dealing with a situation where MIL was in someway not able to communicate or had some comprehension issues surrounding her diagnosis and care

If MIL is well capable of understanding and making decisions and has access to a phone then no one should be discussing her care with you at all . MIL should be updating you all on her progress. All a nurse will tell you if she is doing well etc . If no phone with her I suggested a cheap pay as you go mobile for the hospital. Once a patent is not vulnerable and has full comprehension they will expect them to update and for GDPR should not be discussing them at all with you without MIL present


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Some patients ring their family and put the phone on loudspeaker when the doctor comes around. That way you both get to hear what the doctor says without needing a call afterwards. Would this be an option?

Moto Moto wrote:

Milo wrote:

January wrote: ↑Tue Jan 11, 2022 10:56 pm Jesus Christ I can't contact the geriatrics team. she'd kill me. She would not define herself as geriatric.

Apologies, no offence intended. I assumed she is an older lady and I suggested geriatrics just as another option to try, in an effort to initiate some contact between yourselves and the hospital. Older person, upset etc.. They might be able to put something in place re contact.

This puts a different slant on it . I assumed like milo you were dealing with a situation where MIL was in someway not able to communicate or had some comprehension issues surrounding her diagnosis and care

If MIL is well capable of understanding and making decisions and has access to a phone then no one should be discussing her care with you at all . MIL should be updating you all on her progress. All a nurse will tell you if she is doing well etc . If no phone with her I suggested a cheap pay as you go mobile for the hospital. Once a patent is not vulnerable and has full comprehension they will expect them to update and for GDPR should not be discussing them at all with you without MIL present


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MIL has told us that a doctor had asked if she wanted them to ring DH and discuss what was going on. She told us that we should expect a phone call after a procedure she had on Friday as the doctor told her they would update us on what they had done afterwards. That's why we were expecting one.

My mother was brought in to Vincents hospital unresponsive on the 1st Jan. She has aspiration pneumonia and wasn't eating (she on a medicated feed as she has Parkinson's and dementia). Up until yesterday they told us she was very ill and still not eating and yesterday they are talking about sending her home to my 86 year old dad. He hasn't been allowed to see her since she went in but they did ring him every day, probably as she can't communicate. Dad is delighted but I actually think that they are sending her home to die as they don't have the time to feed her (they can't tube feed her) and they don't want her in the bed for weeks. They are telling him shes 'cured' She's 92.

https://www.mater.ie/patients/your-feedback/ there are a few phone numbers on here and they will be expecting anxious family members to call i would think so hopefully get some help from them.

as for geriatric...that made me laugh... if you are over 35 in maternity you are a geriatric mother!!!

hopefully you can get some answers. best of luck and i wish your mil a speedy recovery.

If she is over 65 she is geriatric but if not and she can manage her own care they will just assume she is passing on the details. Keep trying in the morn or night and see can you get details as next of kin. Maybe tell her how worried your husband is and get her to give some more details. There is nothing worse than not knowing.

Whelp we finally got to speak to someone. Yesterday and today.

Mil has stage 4 pancreatic cancer that has spread to her lungs.

She needs a another procedure to place another stent to drain bilirubin because the tumour is pressing against the gallbladder duct. Then we will get her home and we will meet the oncology team together next week.

Fuck cancer.

I'm sorry to read this January. It's a brutal disease and a hard road. Wishing you all strength

Really sorry to read your update January. It's beyond tough to be on her own right now after getting that news. I hope you and dh get in to see her.

I’m sorry to read this January, sending virtual hugs xx

January , im so sorry to hear that news. Your poor MIL. My Dad was in Beaumont last year. It was just horrific . No communication at all ..nobody would speak to us , no nurse , no doctor anyone ! He was there for 3 weeks . I could hear my Dad deteriorating by the day from the lack of contact. It took him a long time to recover from the trauma . I know it’s not a popular opinion but I think that some (not all) nurses & doctors should be mindful that these patients are Our loved ones .. they are scared and vulnerable and just want contact.