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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2018 2:17 am 
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Dd1 ( almost 18) has a friend who she has been pally with since playschool. This girl has recently become involved with a man who is a bit older ( 22).This chap wouldn't have a good reputation locally and has been in trouble. I am friendly enough with this girls parents, but not so much these days as the girls are more independent and do their own thing.
Dd was at longitude today and has told me that this man was openly selling drugs. I had heard rumours , but he blatantly offered them to dd and her friends today. Dd says her friend that is with him didn't take any, but because she is in a relationship with him in worried that she will become tangled in that scene. Should I say something? Her friend is 18 so technically an adult but still a child in my mind.. do i say it to her parents ? And I have no proof other than what dd confides in me so afraid of the backlash also

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2018 2:31 am 
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God I was your DD twenty five years ago - though the guy was 21 not 22. I’d have killed my mother if she’d interfered. None of her business. I never told my mum about the drugs but if I had and she’d told my friend’s parents it would have been the last thing I told her. 18 is an adult. if an 18 year old gets caught dealing drugs on a college campus parents are not informed. I’m not saying that telling the parents is wrong - I suppose it’s morally right to report criminal activity but I just wouldn’t do it in this instance myself.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2018 5:40 am 
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I'd have to say, however awkward or unpopular, not sure how I'd do it though!


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2018 6:31 am 
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Its great that she confided in you, but if you say anything your own relationship with your daughter could be severely damaged by you interfering- and that is how it would seem in her eyes-interfering.

She is 18, an adult, in a relationship with a criminal, she is aware that he is selling drugs, not the type of person I would want my daughter hanging around with. My priority and loyalty would be to my own daughter.


I would make an anonymous tip to the guards. Are they back at Longitude today?


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2018 8:18 am 
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I wouldn’t say anything. It’s up to the girls parents to know who she is with and even if they do know what are they going to do about it?


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2018 8:25 am 
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I suppose because they are only going into 6th year in September I'm not seeing them as adults yet.. dh says to stay well out of it but If it was my daughter id want to know. Dd said it is now cheaper to buy an ecstasy tablet at €5 than to buy alcohol . That's really scary and shocking.

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2018 8:28 am 
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The truth is drugs are everywhere though. There’s a revival in dance music and ecstasy is on the rise again. Do her parents know he has a bad reputation?


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2018 8:29 am 
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Still a child in you're mind but not a child really.
My dd is 21 and we have spoken about drug taking etc and I know who does and who doesn't take them. I wouldn't dream of mentioning it to any parent. At 18 she's an adult and your own dd won't thank you for saying anything. Plus this guy could be gone next week sure.
Drugs are everywhere and they are going to come across them . All you can do is talk to your own dd about not getting into that scene and being prepared to walk away if she has to.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2018 8:38 am 
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I'd be steering well clear, and would be telling your DD to give a wide berth to her friend also, sounds awful, but you have to advise your own DD at this point.
The BF is older, obviously has connections to a darker world, and by you opening up a can of worms to tell a parent, you would be making life harder for your DD, and the other girl.
Unfortunately, the friend is 18, is an adult, and has to make her own choices. Whether her choice will be to take drugs or to get involved with someone who will inevitably weave her into his world, or to walk away, there's nothing much you can do.
As I said, I'd be advising you DD to keep her head down and both of you not to get involved.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2018 8:40 am 
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Would her parents not already have a fair idea anyway?


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2018 8:57 am 
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DazedandConfused wrote:
Would her parents not already have a fair idea anyway?
No they have no idea , it's fairly new and seems to be mostly based on meeting up on nights out rather than a proper "relationship "

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2018 9:22 am 
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Stay a million miles away from it all. You won’t be thanked. The girl will do what she wants to do.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2018 10:59 am 
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Keep quiet. Advise your daughter to keep away from this particular friend in as much as possible till the romance fizzles out.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2018 11:00 am 
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I'm depressed reading the replies. I wouldn't enjoy receiving the message were it my dd, but in the long run I'd appreciate it.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 14, 2018 11:04 am 
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I’d stay out of it. She’s an adult and it’s for her own family to assess with and deal
With her boyfriend. Also, even if you told the family and they did try to split them up chances are it would make them closer.


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