Family dynamic-opinions needed.

[Shining]

I think this happens in some (f***Ed up) families. I'm the eldest and the scapegoat in my family. My siblings are treated completely different to me, even as a child.
Honestly I don't think there is any point challenging them. I definitely agree with the earlier statement that your siblings learned this behaviour. Whenever I have tried to - even gently- address anything, even when I feel that a siblings behaviour towards a parent is not right, I end up being the baddie.
A relative once challenged my mother over my family's treatment of me (specifically I'm excluded from their will) and she was completely pig headed over it; that's just the way it is. The relative was completely shocked at how resolute she was in this. There was no discussion at all.

Pull back. Lean into those who deserve you. Who support and love you now.
Of course you don't deserve this. It's very very hurtful. You have nothing to do with this at all. Your parents created it - or a parent.
It can take years to realise how our family dynamic is so so wrong.

[Elsie]

Theres a very true saying of you choose your friends not your family and as we get older we realise that we 'love' these people because they are our family. Would we hang out with them if they had been a work colleague for example? probably not. And that is where we have to learn to draw the line. Turn up to anything you are invited to and when youve had enough, say your goodbyes, dont want to outstay our welcome etc etc. Or if you dont want to go or are dreading it then dont. Last minute excuse or even a oh thats a shame we already have plans. Personally i dont think this is going to go anyway but down if you confront/discuss it with them so i would just slowly drift away.

i have a large family and i know once my parents are no longer around i wont see some of them for dust. Thats fine by me they know where i am and they will be on my xmas card list. no hard feelings.