I don't think my family like me
Re: I don't think my family like me
I think the thing about siblings is that they will always do and say stuff that annoys you or hurts you in the moment (and they’re usually the very best placed people to push your buttons because of shared history) but that doesn’t mean they don’t like, love or value you or your relationship. Just sometimes things we do annoy siblings and vice versa. Certainly the case with pretty much everyone I know- family relationships are complicated by lots of baggage and sensitivities but those tensions are normal. I’d try not to dwell too much if you can manage it.
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Re: I don't think my family like me
I agree with this too.Cinquecento wrote: ↑Mon Dec 18, 2023 11:47 pm I too think you are being over sensitive. Siblings slag. It’s annoying at times but it’s usually just fun and banter.
I wouldn’t be having a word with your brother before Christmas. He will, most likely, be totally baffled, not remember it, not understand why it bothered you and then it’ll be a ‘thing’. I’ve been there. Men are most definitely a different species when it comes to these things.
I would only talk/pull him up on something that was genuinely out of order. This, I think, was just slagging. Give him the benefit of the doubt & enjoy your day.
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Re: I don't think my family like me
I agree with everyone abov.
Think about it, ye go for drinks together…. Your brother has always responded to the funny texts… they are all coming to your house for Christmas…. And that’s just what you’ve put in your post, you probably have other examples of spending time with your siblings.
Compare that to people who don’t get on with their siblings, and you’ll see how you have a good relationship.
If they genuinely didn’t like you or were just tolerating you your brother wouldn’t respond to the texts, you’d have heard about the drinks after the fact and they wouldn’t be going to your house.
Do you have a DH/DP, if so can you talk out your feelings with him? Maybe he could reassure you n this point.
And maybe you could try analyse the feelings a little and seeks it more self-doubt or insecurity rather than anything going on with your siblings.
Think about it, ye go for drinks together…. Your brother has always responded to the funny texts… they are all coming to your house for Christmas…. And that’s just what you’ve put in your post, you probably have other examples of spending time with your siblings.
Compare that to people who don’t get on with their siblings, and you’ll see how you have a good relationship.
If they genuinely didn’t like you or were just tolerating you your brother wouldn’t respond to the texts, you’d have heard about the drinks after the fact and they wouldn’t be going to your house.
Do you have a DH/DP, if so can you talk out your feelings with him? Maybe he could reassure you n this point.
And maybe you could try analyse the feelings a little and seeks it more self-doubt or insecurity rather than anything going on with your siblings.
Re: I don't think my family like me
Sibling banter can cut like a knive , it really is a line that gets over stepped.
Try not take offence , Shake this off and move forward if possible. If in the new year things are still unsettled for you maybe have a chat then.
Try not take offence , Shake this off and move forward if possible. If in the new year things are still unsettled for you maybe have a chat then.
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Re: I don't think my family like me
Same as the others, I think you are reading too much into what was a throwaway comment which was probably supposed to be funny, but was just clumsy. I bet your brother would be horrified to think he'd hurt you with his throwaway remark. But I wouldn't bring it up with him or you risk creating a thing over something he may not even remember saying, and then there will definitely be some awkwardness.
As a previous poster said, men can be such twits. The banter that goes on between them is unfathomable at times and it seems to be the currency they deal in. In my house (all lads), while it is mostly funny, it can occasionally hit a raw nerve in the person being slagged. (Sometimes that person is me).
I hope you have a lovely time and I bet you anything they are all delighted to gather together at your house.
As a previous poster said, men can be such twits. The banter that goes on between them is unfathomable at times and it seems to be the currency they deal in. In my house (all lads), while it is mostly funny, it can occasionally hit a raw nerve in the person being slagged. (Sometimes that person is me).
I hope you have a lovely time and I bet you anything they are all delighted to gather together at your house.
Re: I don't think my family like me
Mind yourself great advice above. Hope you have a lovely Christmas.
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Re: I don't think my family like me
Don't be upset OP. Are you really sure your brother's comments was mean or just how you were feeling at that moment? Your family may not always like you but they do love you xx
Re: I don't think my family like me
Like others I think you're being over-sensitive. Someone saying "Ah jaysus woman would you ever stop" (in relation to any behaviour including sending daily messages or memes) is not a sign they don't like you, it just means that they find a behaviour a bit OTT. It doesn't even mean the behaviour is OTT, just they find it that way. Families tend to be the least careful about what they say and are most likely to overstep the mark, but in most cases the bonds of love are the tightest (generalisation).
Maybe there's a bigger picture about why you feel insecure in your family, or maybe you're very sensitive in all your relationships and it might be worth looking at reasons for that. But for now, I'd say let it go and enjoy your Christmas day together.
Maybe there's a bigger picture about why you feel insecure in your family, or maybe you're very sensitive in all your relationships and it might be worth looking at reasons for that. But for now, I'd say let it go and enjoy your Christmas day together.
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Re: I don't think my family like me
You are being over sensitive and rather than worrying about what your family think of you (they wouldn't spend Christmas with you if they didn't like you), have a look at how you feel about yourself.
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Re: I don't think my family like me
I'll go against the grain here ever so slightly, as you said there are a few examples, not just the mean comment. I would pull up the next person that takes the piss out of you! Don't let yourself be the butt of anyone's joke. Or I'm sure you've plenty of 'bantery feedback' you could hand them back, and let them see how thick their skin is.