Strange query

[Smoke]

I strongly suspect he plans on not returning to Ireland.

Gosh.
I can't fathom how a parent can literally just completely walk away from their children.
It's such a selfish thing to do.

[molls]

He has no Irish assets

Feck.
If the country he is in now is not a signatory of the UN Convention on the recovery of maintenance, it may be impossible to get him.

This is absolute crap for you. I am sorry you are going through this.

[apache]

It depends now what country he's in and whether international agreements exist that allow the enforcement of an Irish court order. You really need legal advice from a solicitor and not a Gard. Do you think you would be entitled to free legal aid? What country is he in? Are there any SW entitlements that you might be able to apply for?

[Shining]

Thanks everyone. It's definitely not an enforceable country. It's one of those countries where they don't recognise any international laws.
I honestly don't think there is much I can do about either the maintenance or the bigamy. I think he knows this too.what am I saying, of course he knows this too. I feel this is all very deliberate.
He hasn't paid maintenance since February but was communicating by email completely normal until March. He had an excuse for the lateness and I'm not unreasonable: I understand things happen.
He would often need a prompt for payment but would pay.
I realised during the week that no March payment was received. He is not responding to my emails.
He has blocked me on mobiles. I could see his SM profiles but they've all disappeared yesterday afternoon. So he's blocked me from them.
He's obviously avoiding me.
I hope karma gets him good
He made his children's lives a misery. He was a terrible father. They're both afraid of him. I live with the sadness and guilt that it's my fault they were put through all his shit. And now he won't even give a bit of money for them.

[kahlan]

Gosh, he sounds absolutely despicable Shining. It really sounds like the best thing for you to do now might just be to make sure you are able to get any additional financial supports from DSP since he’s clearly deliberately walking away. You could end up putting a lot of time and energy into pursuing him but it sounds like he may well be beyond the reach of any legal stuff. If he has no plans to return to Ireland it’s pretty obvious why. I can’t imagine the stress of it all…what an absolute b***ox.

[molls]

It is not your fault the kids have been put through this. It is his and his alone.

You are the parent who is here for them, caring for them, providing for them and giving emotional support. You are a superstar, so ditch that guilt.

When his parent dies, if you want one of us to go to the funeral to give him a good kicking, just say the word!

[apache]

Just make sure to pursue a divorce without him here so he can’t try to turn up to try to enforce any inherent rights.

[SarahBC]

Thanks everyone. It's definitely not an enforceable country. It's one of those countries where they don't recognise any international laws.
I honestly don't think there is much I can do about either the maintenance or the bigamy. I think he knows this too.what am I saying, of course he knows this too. I feel this is all very deliberate.
He hasn't paid maintenance since February but was communicating by email completely normal until March. He had an excuse for the lateness and I'm not unreasonable: I understand things happen.
He would often need a prompt for payment but would pay.
I realised during the week that no March payment was received. He is not responding to my emails.
He has blocked me on mobiles. I could see his SM profiles but they've all disappeared yesterday afternoon. So he's blocked me from them.
He's obviously avoiding me.
I hope karma gets him good
He made his children's lives a misery. He was a terrible father. They're both afraid of him. I live with the sadness and guilt that it's my fault they were put through all his shit. And now he won't even give a bit of money for them.

My position is similar in that ex pretty much withdrew financial support. Is the house sorted? Could you negotiate any property etc in lieu of maintenance?
Make sure you get a divorce so all succession rights are extinguished. I’m a good bit down the road at this stage but it is tough financially, Physically and emotionally - depending on the staff your kids are at. But you are used to coping alone and you will be fine.
It is incredible what some People can do to their own children. Take care of yourself Shining - your kids are so Lucky to gave you. X

[Smoke]

Maybe enquire if you're entitled to any social welfare support too as tippexile suggested..
Your income has dropped significantly. You may be entitled to different or increased benefits now.

[mcmammy2]

Shining you are some woman. You have been through a lot. I always smile when I see your posts and see how well you seem to be getting on despite your challenges. I am so sorry your ex is a complete #$@&. You deserve better. I hope that you can get financial support through another means. Your poor kids too at least they will learn how not to behave and the type of people that they should not have in their lives. You will be ok but I hope you get sorted financially. Surely he will have to return to Ireland at some point if he has family members still alive and here. Wonder if anything could be done if and when he returns

[Sally]

Quite an unusual and complicated situation.
Think your best bet is to try get an appointment with a family law solicitor ASAP.

[TCR]

That’s pretty shocking Shining. You must be in a tailspin.
I don’t know what to advise but honestly you really have been put through the wringer with this guy. Your children are lucky to have you. He really mustn’t care less about anyone at all.

[luxie]

Just make sure to pursue a divorce without him here so he can’t try to turn up to try to enforce any inherent rights.

How can you do that?
My friends ex h is awol at the moment and the last two times it went to court for the divorce to be ‘settled/signed off’ (don’t know the correct term) the judge said he wasn’t going to hear it as there was no proof the ex had accepted or received the papers. …
She and her solicitor were told they had to track him down..:

[luxie]

No advice shining but echo he’s some piece of work

[Darva]

What a terrible shock for you.

Do you know if he has a new employer if that is local to where he is or is it based in another country.
If the new employer is based in third country it might be worth investigating whether you can have maintenance deducted from his wages at source.