DH arguing with neighbours

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DazedandConfused
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Re: DH arguing with neighbours

#16 Post by DazedandConfused »

I’m assuming it’s a rural set up where there is a lane that leads just to their two houses so is shared


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Shining
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Re: DH arguing with neighbours

#17 Post by Shining »

I can understand how your DH lost the rag and why he might have a temper - I can only imagine living with this is extremely stressful.
Who owns the road? Is it a public road? I thought someone would have to own the road if it was not public?
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Re: DH arguing with neighbours

#18 Post by Smoke »

jammymammy wrote: Thu Dec 15, 2022 11:18 pm
Sally wrote: Thu Dec 15, 2022 10:39 pmMove.
Anybody who looks at the house and is interested will be deterred by the shared driveway. Solicitor will advise against.
I'd imagine that quite a lot of shared lane ways in rural setting are taken in charge by local councils at this stage. There are where I'm from anyway.
You allow the council access and in turn they maintain it - i dont know if title changes though. It's a very common situation and I've never seen shared ownership create issues for change of title of a property in these situations. Taken in charge I think is the term.
Cinquecento
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Re: DH arguing with neighbours

#19 Post by Cinquecento »

Nodrog wrote: Thu Dec 15, 2022 5:55 pm You lost me at *has a fiery temper at the best of times*.
This is not normal.
Where does he work?
Does he lose his shit in work/with pals/relatives? No?
Then he can control his temper but chooses not to when it suits him.

It must be very frightening walking on eggshells which it sounds like you are doing.

Have you sat down and told him how his behaviour makes you feel?
I’d consider it quite normal actually dealing with people who put nails in your tyres and you suspect poisoned your dog. It’s actually ok to lose your rag with scumbags like that.

I’d also move. I couldn’t be dealing with knackers like that.
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Re: DH arguing with neighbours

#20 Post by Nodrog »

Cinquecento wrote: Fri Dec 16, 2022 12:46 am
Nodrog wrote: Thu Dec 15, 2022 5:55 pm You lost me at *has a fiery temper at the best of times*.
This is not normal.
Where does he work?
Does he lose his shit in work/with pals/relatives? No?
Then he can control his temper but chooses not to when it suits him.

It must be very frightening walking on eggshells which it sounds like you are doing.

Have you sat down and told him how his behaviour makes you feel?
I’d consider it quite normal actually dealing with people who put nails in your tyres and you suspect poisoned your dog. It’s actually ok to lose your rag with scumbags like that.

I’d also move. I couldn’t be dealing with knackers like that.
My response was based on the Original post.
She didn't mention all of the other issues with the neighbours!
OP I would move, they sound nuts.
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Re: DH arguing with neighbours

#21 Post by Nay-brrr »

Moving isn't an option unfortunately. Both properties have been in the families for a few generations.
Painful and all as the neighbours are, ignoring them has worked up to this point. DH was referred to as a "blow in" yesterday! Facing them down is pointless with these idiots. You are just sinking to their level.
DH gets this when we chat about it but in the heat of the moment, he needs to be able to not react. He is just playing into their hands.
I am looking into CCTV today. I hate that they are dictating parts of our life. I hate them, full stop.
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Re: DH arguing with neighbours

#22 Post by Elsie »

its ok for everyone to say move but maybe its a family home for generations or like many wouldnt be able to afford to move. I would see if you could talk to them calmly one day and just tell them that the stress levels build when you arent able to access your property. Check your deeds and see who owns the lane, just because its off the main road doesnt mean its a private road.
take pics with times and dates for yourselves of any obstructions so if it does escalate you will have some proof.
Good suggestion from someone if you have the means to make a parking space for yourselves so if they are blocking you you still have someone to park.

We had neighbours that were horrendous and caused trouble for everyone... had the armed gardai and helicopter one day .... jeez i really did want to move but thankfully they left (taking everything and i mean everything with them).
Any chance they are renting? and a complaint could be made to their landlord?
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Re: DH arguing with neighbours

#23 Post by Thatgirlcandance »

Stripy wrote: Thu Dec 15, 2022 9:57 pm Naybrr, it sounds very intimidating and you are obviously worried about consequences. Would your DH be able to say sorry I lost the head but I was frustrated at not being able to park.
This doesn't work with people like them - they are bullies and apologising would just be seen as a sign of weakness and an invitation for them to walk all over you.
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Re: DH arguing with neighbours

#24 Post by RedHen »

If these people are tenants, I'd try to get them evicted. If they are owners, then I'd move. A friendly chat isn't going to make them change their ways. They know exactly what they are doing and don't care.
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