My dd(17) is pregnant

[Heartbroken]

Regular poster gone anon.
I got a call from school today to ask me to call in as dd was upset. When I got there the principal told me that dd was pregnant and was upset as she hadn’t spoken to me about it.
I am heartbroken for her. I don’t know what to do. She said she doesn’t want to keep it as she wants to go to college and she is too young and her life would be over.
I feel like vomiting. I know it isn’t the end of the world and much worse things are going on when you see those 3 kids in the uk but I am devastated.

[WineAndRosesAndGin]

That's a big shock to get, no wonder you feel sick. She's your baby and you don't expect news or distress like that.

Dont say or do anything hasty. What she needs most now is to know that you love and support her. No matter what the outcome is or what she decides to do, her life is far from over. She has options and a loving family.

[anothermum]

Your poor DD and you. Of course you are devastated. No matter what choice she makes, it's a big decision to make at any age and in particular when she is so youngl I think the first thing to do is tell her that she is your baby and no matter what choice she makes you love her and will be there to support her. You are still in shock and need time too. The next step will get easier once you have had time to come to terms with the situation. Be kind to yourself too.

[Elsie]

Firstly huge hug for you. Its not something you want to hear but remember it's not the end of the world. Give yourselves a few days to come to terms with it before any decisions are made. Lots of factors to consider but she did a brave thing by getting help to tell you. Xxx

[RDR]

You poor thing, what an awful shock and maybe additionally because of the way it was delivered too in school. Your daughter sounds like she has decided what she wants to do. Talk to her, let her talk to you. Find out does she want to talk to someone external. If she is sure of what she wants to do then just be there for her in helping her navigate the steps. If she wants an abortion there are time frames and maybe logistics to consider and she may need help with that. If it is too late and adoption is the option she wants to go for there are agencies who will support her through that. It is a huge shock of course to both of you but she is lucky that she has choices and can see a life that she wants and a pathway to it. It is not where you or she wanted to be but you can both get through this.

[StarryNight]

If she doesn't want to stay pregnant she has choices thankfully.
How far along is she? Can she ring myoptions for advice.

[molls]

You poor thing. What a shock. And of course, your poor DD.

Just to echo what everyone else said - just let her know you love and support her. Go easy on yourself.

[Nodrog]

It's a shock for her and for you.
Breathe and breathe again.
Thankfully it's 2022 and she has choices. No decisions need to be made right now this minute.
She can make an informed decision (How far along is she?).
ETA does your DH know? I hope you have his support also.

[Iamanisland]

My goodness that's big news for a 17yr old. Great advice from RDR above. I think if you have some time, take that time, let her think it all through and don't rush into anything. It's a huge decision for a 17yr old to make whatever she decides to do. Hugs and the very best of luck to you both.

[Nessa]

Been there, done that as they say.
Huge shock for you, along with the disappointment, anger, shame, rage, the thoughts that go through your head such as you absolute thick, how could you have been so stupid, your life is over, this is the worst thing that has/could ever happen to you, me, all of us.
Go with that flow if you need to, while keeping your mouth shut as you can't take back anything harsh once it's out.
Hug her, kiss her, let her know that this decision is hers and hers alone and you will support her o matter what. Talk through all the options and then and only then make a decision.
Whether or not she decides to keep the baby it's still going to be a hard decision. She has options, look into all of them, talk about them in depth and don't rush into anything.

It's 15yrs now since my world came crashing down and if I'm honest, I still hold a little resentment as the first words out of my mouth were, ''I'll support you, all the way over to England on the boat'' and I was stunned when she didn't choose that option. However I can't imagine our lives now without her.
People will tell you 'Ah well it's not the worst thing that can happen' and that used to give me the rage as right then in that moment it was the worst thing and it's ok for you all to feel that way. It will pass.
PM if you need to

[Shining]

What a shock for you. Lots of great advice here. I can't add anymore to it but I'm thinking of you both.

[jammymammy]

Just be there for her and support her and love her.
It’s such a big shock for you all.

[twinfun]

Hugs to you and your lovely daughter

I can understand the shock the anger the feelings of nausea
I think as everyone else has said is take a few days to let it sink in for you and her now you know

Even more shocking definitely that you heard it from school unfortunately


Try try not to say anything harsh even if you feeling like screaming at the top of your voice
Help your DD find all her options and give her time to think and make her own choices

Now in 2022 there are so much more choices available
even academically if she decided was to keep the baby and go to uni as an older student

The most important thing is that she knows you still love her and will always love her unconditionally whatever happens

[GoodnBad]

Thinking of you right now. Great guidance from others to consider.

Take care x

[DiscoGirl]

Sending vitual hugs to you both, great advice from Nessa , mind yourself xx