Only One Not Promoted

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LucyS
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Re: Only One Not Promoted

#76 Post by LucyS »

TCR wrote: Sat Dec 03, 2022 1:15 am
LucyS wrote:Newbody, I'm delighted to hear everything worked out well.

It must have been a very stressful situation at the time.
I have to admire the way you dealt with all the criticism of your advice to the OP.

I know it would be a very dull forum if everyone agreed. Though sometimes I think is it really necessary to hammer home your disagreement if ten posters before you already made the same point.
TCR, oh well, I can't win them all. It was technique that I had heard about and thought was worth a mention.

Next time I tell it, the 'look them in the eye' will be replaced by a 'long menacing Catherine Tramell stare'.
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Re: Only One Not Promoted

#77 Post by Upset »

Newbody, thank you for sharing your experience that sounds very difficult and you handled it so well.
And thank you also to everyone who has taken the time to reply, it really means a lot.

There is no going back as far as I'm concerned.
I imagine in their eyes they have a pathway and will *give it to me* next year and believe little old goody two shoes 100% committed me will be happy with that.
But my head and heart are out.

2023 will be a new beginning for me

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Re: Only One Not Promoted

#78 Post by Apple »

We are going around in circles but would you consider using it yourself If you found yourself in similar circumstances?

LucyS
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Re: Only One Not Promoted

#79 Post by LucyS »

I honestly don't know as I have never been in her situation. I have always liked changing areas and I would just easily move on.

Unfortunately, she was in a very different situation as moving was not an option as it would have meant uprooting her children. She had taken the technical lead on all projects after the death of the founder. The heads of finance and sales then acquired the company via a management buy out and didn't give her a pay rise for ages or any formal acknowledgement of her role. Even though she was effectively doing the work of a CTO and Head of Engineering, she wasn't being paid much more than a junior engineer.
The company has since been over by a large multinational and the two MBO bozos were out the door immediately after the takeover. She is still essentially doing the same role but earning multiples with a title of regional VP. She loves her work and is still working with the same team.
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Re: Only One Not Promoted

#80 Post by HeyJude »

OP when they mentioned the 2 projects i.e. 1 was late and 1 not completed, who was responsible for making that happen? who was supposed to ensure the project finished on time and who was responsible for assigning a developer? If it wasn't you was that person promoted?

I know people who took on roles and acted as if they were manager etc. and then were given those roles. Now the 2 same people would have brass-necks and also be quite ruthless. In one of the cases the person wasn't even that competent. They were just refused to back down or listen to reason. Most people wouldn't be able to carry it off or want to.

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Re: Only One Not Promoted

#81 Post by Upset »

Responsibility for the projects was my direct manager (COO) .
I was a cog in the wheel.
I should have mentioned, I had an operation (serious) and was out of work for 8 weeks.
The night before I had surgery I worked until 9pm (in agony more fool me) to get stuff done.

I had a chat with my mum and she suggested I go sick. But, they may not pay me. Plus I've never ever been out sick (other than my operation).
In my entire time there. I've never been ill. Ever.
I was at the doctor 2 weeks ago and got strong pain relief (Ixprim, Tylex and Difine) because I'm in pain(consequence of the operation earlier this year).
So, I've real proof that I'm in pain before any of this transpired if I do decide to go down the *sick* route. It can't be blamed on what's happening right now.
I've dates on my prescriptions and obviously my doctors appointment.

Any advice on that angle?

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Re: Only One Not Promoted

#82 Post by HeyJude »

So your manager dropped the ball and is trying to pass the blame then? That's what it sounds like to me.

Be careful about going out sick as a future company could ask your current company about your record and you don't want the reputation of being out sick a lot (it would put me off hiring someone tbh).

I think I would do as others have suggested and look at moving. In the meantime do your job, no more. If you are requested to work outside your part-time hours explain that as you are not scheduled to work, that you are not available unfortunately. You can sound genuinely sorry about it but don't back down.
A lot of companies don't see doing extra hours as 'going above and beyond', but rather that you are somebody that will never say no and can be relied on if something needs to be done. While many people value this, it also means that you are seen as part of the furniture a lot...as in sure OP will do it, she always does.

Good luck with your decisions. This may end up being the best thing that has ever happened to you career-wise.
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Re: Only One Not Promoted

#83 Post by Upset »

Very good point re sick leave history.

I even took annual leave for a mammogram and doctors appointments .

I've been reaching out to employers in my area over LinkedIn. One wants to speak wirh me next week.

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Re: Only One Not Promoted

#84 Post by Sally »

Upset wrote: Sat Dec 03, 2022 8:33 pm Responsibility for the projects was my direct manager (COO) .
I was a cog in the wheel.
I should have mentioned, I had an operation (serious) and was out of work for 8 weeks.
The night before I had surgery I worked until 9pm (in agony more fool me) to get stuff done.

I had a chat with my mum and she suggested I go sick. But, they may not pay me. Plus I've never ever been out sick (other than my operation).
In my entire time there. I've never been ill. Ever.
I was at the doctor 2 weeks ago and got strong pain relief (Ixprim, Tylex and Difine) because I'm in pain(consequence of the operation earlier this year).
So, I've real proof that I'm in pain before any of this transpired if I do decide to go down the *sick* route. It can't be blamed on what's happening right now.
I've dates on my prescriptions and obviously my doctors appointment.

Any advice on that angle?
Why would you go out sick?
Are the pain relievers not working? If not, I would make a doctors appt and have the medicine reviewed or changed.

Not sure what the connection is between the issue of the pain relievers working or not working and the issue of being passed over for promotion is ?

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Re: Only One Not Promoted

#85 Post by Upset »

Hi Sally,
I suppose I'm not really thinking too clearly.

I just don't want to go to work on Monday (or really ever).
I'm depressed even thinking about it.
I can't sleep, I've barely eaten and my tongue is all funny, like dried up and sore.

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Re: Only One Not Promoted

#86 Post by HeyJude »

I think Sally that she feels like going out sick because she's so upset and she has a good excuse so to speak. It wouldn't be something I would do as would look bad to potential employers imo.
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Re: Only One Not Promoted

#87 Post by janeymac »

Sally wrote: Sat Dec 03, 2022 10:00 pm
Upset wrote: Sat Dec 03, 2022 8:33 pm Responsibility for the projects was my direct manager (COO) .
I was a cog in the wheel.
I should have mentioned, I had an operation (serious) and was out of work for 8 weeks.
The night before I had surgery I worked until 9pm (in agony more fool me) to get stuff done.

I had a chat with my mum and she suggested I go sick. But, they may not pay me. Plus I've never ever been out sick (other than my operation).
In my entire time there. I've never been ill. Ever.
I was at the doctor 2 weeks ago and got strong pain relief (Ixprim, Tylex and Difine) because I'm in pain(consequence of the operation earlier this year).
So, I've real proof that I'm in pain before any of this transpired if I do decide to go down the *sick* route. It can't be blamed on what's happening right now.
I've dates on my prescriptions and obviously my doctors appointment.

Any advice on that angle?
Why would you go out sick?
Are the pain relievers not working? If not, I would make a doctors appt and have the medicine reviewed or changed.

Not sure what the connection is between the issue of the pain relievers working or not working and the issue of being passed over for promotion is ?
People 'go out sick' sometimes as a kind of protest against employers, so they don't have to go into work. It wouldn't be something I'd do or ever considered but in different jobs, I've heard people go out sick after some disagreement with employers. Maybe for example if they are under stress for example and asked for assistance and weren't given it.
Or in situations where they feel hard done by and where they have some other health/life issue going on. Eg. I know someone with a terminally ill close family member and refused compassionate leave so he went out sick.
I think where people are going the extra mile for work and find it's not appreciated, they just feel they are not going to push themselves to go to work if they have other stuff going on.
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Re: Only One Not Promoted

#88 Post by Cinquecento »

Sally wrote: Sat Dec 03, 2022 10:00 pm
Upset wrote: Sat Dec 03, 2022 8:33 pm Responsibility for the projects was my direct manager (COO) .
I was a cog in the wheel.
I should have mentioned, I had an operation (serious) and was out of work for 8 weeks.
The night before I had surgery I worked until 9pm (in agony more fool me) to get stuff done.

I had a chat with my mum and she suggested I go sick. But, they may not pay me. Plus I've never ever been out sick (other than my operation).
In my entire time there. I've never been ill. Ever.
I was at the doctor 2 weeks ago and got strong pain relief (Ixprim, Tylex and Difine) because I'm in pain(consequence of the operation earlier this year).
So, I've real proof that I'm in pain before any of this transpired if I do decide to go down the *sick* route. It can't be blamed on what's happening right now.
I've dates on my prescriptions and obviously my doctors appointment.

Any advice on that angle?
Why would you go out sick?
Are the pain relievers not working? If not, I would make a doctors appt and have the medicine reviewed or changed.

Not sure what the connection is between the issue of the pain relievers working or not working and the issue of being passed over for promotion is ?
Because sometimes when people are treated badly by employers they don’t feel like being upstanding employees. But I suspect you know that.

OP I wouldn’t go out sick. It won’t make you feel better. Put your paid hours in, research other opportunities and leave with your head held high.
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Re: Only One Not Promoted

#89 Post by ClaraLara »

OP if you're not well enough to work, then take the day off!

It's unrelated to the promotion so I wouldn't struggle through just to make a point that I'm not taking sick leave.

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Re: Only One Not Promoted

#90 Post by CocoRose »

At a minimum take a couple of mental health sick days. You never took a sick day bar post op, in 8 fricking years! Probably as part of going above and beyond for them! You're not about to ruin that record by taking a day or a week off after this.

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