Personality clash at work

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RedHen
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Re: Personality clash at work

#16 Post by RedHen »

It's very strange that a new person would think it's appropriate to openly show disapproval of an established member of staff who is at the same level. Is there any chance the new employee mistakenly thinks you now report to them? I'd ask your manager to clarify that for them.
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Re: Personality clash at work

#17 Post by CocoRose »

Good advice above. I think what would also help with establishing what exactly you are upset about. From reading your post I think you could get more specific on it, put words on what exactly you are unhappy with in this working relationship so you are clear when addressing it.

I think it sounds like you are dealing with a pain in the neck colleague who definitely needs to stay out of your lane but the word bullying is a bit premature myself here, given the amount of information shared.

[Edited my suggestion out on whether the colleague might be reminding you of anyone as re-reading it, I think that's more often an issue working up the way and not here. I just remember a colleague saying she had to remind herself her manager was not her over critical mother! And we all agreed it can feel like that when criticised!]
Sad At Work
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Re: Personality clash at work

#18 Post by Sad At Work »

Hi everyone thank you for the advice.
I don't believe that this person is a bully. I think they just have very fixed ideas on things and I annoy them. Instead of letting it go, they have to bring it up every single time. To me that is unnecessary and petty. I feel like I constantly need to watch my Ps and Qs, and it makes me uncomfortable.
I have countered them when they have come to me on something, but not outright said to leave me be. It's hard to explain. Our work crosses over and unless they know the minutae of what I am doing they get fed up. I feel that we are adults and should be able to do our jobs. I don't ask them for the minutae of what they are doing on a daily basis.
For the person who raised it, Yes. I am carrying trauma from my personal life. I have been badly bullied and abused and so I am sensitive to this sort of behaviour, and I also had confrontation or rows.
As I said this person isn't bullying me, they are just making me feel shit. They know it too, but they can't help themselves.
I spoke to our manager for all the good it will do. I want to keep my head down but that seems to get to this person the most.
I am hoping that with a little water under the bridge I can have a conversation with this person in a reasonable manner in the coming weeks. I do feel that this is something that is going to come up repeatedly though. Their personality pisses me off too, I just don't shove it in their face.
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