How does residential rehab for alcoholism work?

[Lady Madonna]

I'm worried about a friend who would say himself that drink doesn't agree with him, he goes off it and seems in great form when he's off it and then he could be at home some evening and drink a bottle of whiskey or vodka. He's single, not surprisingly, in his 40s and it's causing trouble within his family and his job. He talks about a long term relationship he was in some years ago before we knew him, I can guess why it ended and sometimes I wonder what the woman had to put up with before she said enough is enough. I don't know if it's just alcohol or if he takes drugs as well because we wouldn't ever go for a drink with him.

He's a mess when he's drinking, and everyone knows about it because it's well documented on Snapchat when he's on a bender. He doesn't come looking for sympathy but I'm here thinking he's probably at home now with an awful dose of the fear. Maybe I'm reading too many Marian Keyes books but I think the only chance he has of ever giving it up is a stint in rehab. I know he has to wait to do it but is it even possible if someone doesn't have a huge amount of money? I have a friend who's DS went to Cuan mhuire a few years ago and he's a different person now it's hard to believe he ever had a problem with drink and drugs.

I'm not asking for anyone else's private business, but do places that offer rehab have waiting lists? How much do they cost, can a person self-refer or does a doctor have to do it? Can a person get a social welfare payment while they're in there and off work? Is it really like the Marian Keyes books where they have family members coming in? Does his employer have any kind of a duty of care if it's affecting his work? He doesn't have private insurance or an EAP.

[molls]

Residential rehab normally runs for 4 weeks, though some are for 3 months.

4 week rehab costs between 3k and 6k. Most insurers cover it. There is one that take people on social welfare. It might be Cluain Mhuire.

Most people with a drink problem who successfully give it up, do so without going to rehab. He could attend an addiction counsellor and/or look to be prescribed Antabuse (a drunk that makes you very ill if you drink). He could attend AA or Smart Recovery meetings.

There's an American YouTube channel called "put the shovel down" and the woman running that (who is wonderfully sensible) runs an online programme for addicts/alcoholics.

[mcmammy2]

Does he realise he has a problem? Does he want to give it up?

[poshspice]

I'm not exactly sure of specifics but residential treatment is expensive if you haven't got private health insurance. Most centres work on anything from 4-6 weeks for length of treatment and work from a 12 Step context (AA, NA etc) The treatment plan would typically cover aftercare (usually weekly group therapy) and relapse management for two years. Cuan Mhuire have a slightly different approach and the residential part is 12 weeks I think but they aren't as expensive and accept social welfare payments although I'm not sure of the details of how that works. Most treatment centres will have a weekly schedule that includes family/concerned people being involved in individual and group therapy on one day a week and there is usually a set visiting day as well. Before someone is admitted they will be assessed and they usually have to have detoxed before admission which just means getting the drink/drugs out of their system enough to begin treatment, that can be done with help of GP.

[Lady Madonna]

Does he realise he has a problem? Does he want to give it up?

He's saying he needs to give up spirits and try drinking beer/Guinness or something but it doesn't seem to be working for him. I know myself if I have 3 or 4 beers my stomach feels gassy and I have to switch to G&T or water/diet 7up. John Leahy, the former hurler says drink is drink and if it's causing problems it will cause the same problems no matter what you drink.

[tea]

Doesn't sound like he's in the headspace to quit.
"I'll drink beer instead " is a classic reasoning.
John Leahy is right. Drink is drink.

[janeymac]

I think that your friend has to want to stop himself. It is unclear from your post if he actually sees his drinking as problematic enough to want to quit. You mentioned it causing trouble in his job and with his family. But does he see this or is this mostly you observing?
Because the only way he will give up is if he sees it as problematic and wants to stop.
I have a friend who is years off the drink now. He could go weeks without drink, then 3 or 4 benders in a row. Residential care wouldn't have been the solution for him because he could easily go weeks without a drink.
I think lots of people give up alcohol without rehab.
If you are worried about him, I would go that road with him first. Just express your worry. See if he thinks alcohol is a problem in his life. He may not welcome your observations about the help you think he needs. It really all has to come from him. It might be useful to go into the conversation armed with info about helpful organisations or local AA meetings but I'd play it by ear.
Sorry forgot to say, had a close relative of friend who did a residential stay. It was super hard to get a place there. He had some connections. Not sure re payment. His family was able to visit as far as I remember. His family had to 'babysit' him for the weekend before going in and clear every bit of alcohol from the house so he'd go in sober. He stated for 6 weeks afair and was sober for a month or 6 weeks when he came out. He went back on it though so I don't think any method is guaranteed.

[tippexile]

FIL went to Cluain Mhuire for alcohol issues but it was 30 years ago. I don't think it worked in the sense that he just transferred his addiction to prescription painkillers. Like I said, it was 30 years ago, so not sure how it works now. As everyone has said, your friend has to want to stop for himself and admit he has a problem.and until he does, any form of rehab will not work.

[Cinquecento]

As others have said, unless the person accepts they have a problem and wants to address it nothing will work.

We’ve been there and might as well have flushed the money it cost down the toilet. The excuse about switching to a different drink is textbook. Total denial of the issue. It’s extremely hard to watch but ultimately it has to be the person with the addiction who wants to deal with it.

[Lady Madonna]

ExDP was in Cuain Mhuire 3 times (once in our relationship) for 12 week stints. You give a contribution each week depending on your income. Its very hard to get into. The person themselves really has to want to do it.
Its minimal contact - for the few weeks of detox at the start its no contact. Then one phone call a day. And one visit on a Sunday for a couple of hours.


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