Anyone been through this. Been ghosted by a friend of 10 years. No idea why.
Were not best friends but did hang out a bit. She didnt answer txts but didnt think to much of that as at times shes not great at responding, then blocked me and then blanked me completely when she saw me the other day. And she definitely saw me.
We dont have mutual friends. Would have 1 or 2 people in common but wouldnt socialise together.
Do I just let it go? We are going to bump into each other as we live in the same town and its a small town.
Ghosted by a friend
-
DiscoGirl
- Posts: 14582
- Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2014 10:23 pm
- Has thanked: 58 times
- Been thanked: 76 times
Re: Ghosted by a friend
I'd find that hard to let go without an explanation of some kind. Do you have any idea why she has done this?
Sent from my SM-A600FN using Tapatalk
Sent from my SM-A600FN using Tapatalk
-
Unnamed Poster 8
- Posts: 11154
- Joined: Wed Jul 10, 2019 4:58 pm
- Has thanked: 24 times
- Been thanked: 18 times
-
MrsPotatoHead
- Posts: 6539
- Joined: Wed Apr 16, 2014 1:30 pm
- Has thanked: 1 time
- Been thanked: 8 times
Re: Ghosted by a friend
Happened to me about 20 years, after I had DD1. She's not a baby/children person and just didn't want to be dealing with that. It was a shame because she was the one who got me and DH together in the first place.
Some years later, she sent me a friend request on FB which I accepted but it's a very superficial and tenuous FB relationship at best and I don't care.
Some years later, she sent me a friend request on FB which I accepted but it's a very superficial and tenuous FB relationship at best and I don't care.
-
Cinquecento
- Posts: 1599
- Joined: Sat May 08, 2021 8:16 pm
- Has thanked: 17 times
- Been thanked: 23 times
Re: Ghosted by a friend
How odd. She’s not acknowledging you after 10 years of friendship? I would ask why. Most normal people don’t indulge in childish drama as adults. Could be a reasonable explanation.
Re: Ghosted by a friend
If it were me, it would kill me not to know what I’d done to upset her. I would approach her and ask her personally. Would probably not try to keep the friendship alive as she didn’t have the guts to say something; I’d just be nosy as to why I was being blanked!
Re: Ghosted by a friend
I really dont have an idea. If she spoke to me and said i dont want to be friends anymore I would have accepted that whilst I might not have liked it.But I would have respected it. M
I was upset but I have read up a bit on it and seemingly it says more about the person who has ghosted you so maybe I am better off? I did try to contact her but thats when I realised she has blocked me and unfriended me.
Probably time to move on
I was upset but I have read up a bit on it and seemingly it says more about the person who has ghosted you so maybe I am better off? I did try to contact her but thats when I realised she has blocked me and unfriended me.
Probably time to move on
Re: Ghosted by a friend
That is hard alright, and yes the best advice is to let it go. BUT, having had a similar experience I can’t say it’s easy.
I think I have written about this before, I was also ghosted by a friend - 10 years ago. I don’t think about it anymore but am reminded of it any time I read or hear of it happening to someone else. I would really value her telling me what happened or why it happened as I could then let go or even learn from it if I did something that I am completely blind to.
Like you, she wasn’t my best friend but we had great fun together. Lovely nights out, weekend always with DHs and our kids had lovely times too. We went to each other’s family occasions too, I was very fond of her siblings and parents. I think she was fond of mine.
We move in slightly different circles that overlap to some degree so we would both have some idea of what’s going on in parts of our lives if we were interested enough to find out (I’m not), our kids wouldn’t know each other anymore.
One of my closest friends now works in the same industry and would liaise with the ‘ghoster’ on some activity. She is not aware of the ghosting, she just thinks it was a friendship that naturally came to an end and I have never corrected that or said anything negative about the ‘ghoster’. Interestingly she only said to me recently, ‘how were you guys friends years ago? She is hard work’.
Maybe she was, maybe she wasn’t. I certainly never noticed until I was ghosted. It does hurt at the time that’s for sure. And here’s the really daft thing I would probably happily pick up the friendship again it she reached out (no idea why), that won’t happen so I needn’t worry.
So, my advice would be to focus on those friends that are around you and choose to be there. They are worth their weight in gold. Take care
I think I have written about this before, I was also ghosted by a friend - 10 years ago. I don’t think about it anymore but am reminded of it any time I read or hear of it happening to someone else. I would really value her telling me what happened or why it happened as I could then let go or even learn from it if I did something that I am completely blind to.
Like you, she wasn’t my best friend but we had great fun together. Lovely nights out, weekend always with DHs and our kids had lovely times too. We went to each other’s family occasions too, I was very fond of her siblings and parents. I think she was fond of mine.
We move in slightly different circles that overlap to some degree so we would both have some idea of what’s going on in parts of our lives if we were interested enough to find out (I’m not), our kids wouldn’t know each other anymore.
One of my closest friends now works in the same industry and would liaise with the ‘ghoster’ on some activity. She is not aware of the ghosting, she just thinks it was a friendship that naturally came to an end and I have never corrected that or said anything negative about the ‘ghoster’. Interestingly she only said to me recently, ‘how were you guys friends years ago? She is hard work’.
Maybe she was, maybe she wasn’t. I certainly never noticed until I was ghosted. It does hurt at the time that’s for sure. And here’s the really daft thing I would probably happily pick up the friendship again it she reached out (no idea why), that won’t happen so I needn’t worry.
So, my advice would be to focus on those friends that are around you and choose to be there. They are worth their weight in gold. Take care
-
Starryeyedsurprise
- Posts: 4851
- Joined: Fri Jul 18, 2014 11:01 pm
- Has thanked: 0
- Been thanked: 24 times
Re: Ghosted by a friend
Op, I am sorry this has happened to you. It is a very odd way for a grown woman to behave but it seems to happen quite a lot. The curious side of me would want to know why she is ghosting me. Did something happen? even something really small you can think of?
Ghosted by a friend
Yes happened to me about 4 years ago with my best friend here. I was in the middle of my separation and my ex was still living with me so maybe I was a total pia, I was under a lot of stress. She is single no kids so I just don’t think she got it.
Her mum had died about a year before and she wasn’t great herself. I had felt the last few times we’d seen each other that we were rubbing each other up the wrong way. At that stage I hadn’t had a parent die so quite likely she thought I was a poor support.
So when I realised she’d ghosted or at least hadn’t replied to my messages I was hurt but tbh she was down my list of shit to care about at that stage and I didn’t make this my priority.
She had form for cutting people out her life I just didn’t think I’d be one of them especially at that time. I miss her friendship sometimes and she was great fun but there’s lots I don’t miss either.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Her mum had died about a year before and she wasn’t great herself. I had felt the last few times we’d seen each other that we were rubbing each other up the wrong way. At that stage I hadn’t had a parent die so quite likely she thought I was a poor support.
So when I realised she’d ghosted or at least hadn’t replied to my messages I was hurt but tbh she was down my list of shit to care about at that stage and I didn’t make this my priority.
She had form for cutting people out her life I just didn’t think I’d be one of them especially at that time. I miss her friendship sometimes and she was great fun but there’s lots I don’t miss either.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Re: Ghosted by a friend
This also happened me, probably about 10 years ago: friends since college. I had just had my second baby. Never had a falling out or a cross word, no reason to it: she just stopped completely interacting with me, as if she disappeared. I did find it quite hurtful and I did reach out to her, not asking why, but just saying that I missed our chats etc and would love to hear from her but she never replied.
I think it's very true that it says more about them than you. She had a history of cutting people out of her life.
I would let it go.
I think it's very true that it says more about them than you. She had a history of cutting people out of her life.
I would let it go.
Re: Ghosted by a friend
This happened to me too.
I’m interested in the amount of people who have also commented with similar experiences.
Is it that people just grow apart, don’t have anything in common and stop making an effort? In some cases they have made new friends maybe or moved away.
There seems to be a common theme of “she had history…”. That resonates with me, as she had mentioned not bothering with people. I was next obviously…..
I would also leave it go.
I’m interested in the amount of people who have also commented with similar experiences.
Is it that people just grow apart, don’t have anything in common and stop making an effort? In some cases they have made new friends maybe or moved away.
There seems to be a common theme of “she had history…”. That resonates with me, as she had mentioned not bothering with people. I was next obviously…..
I would also leave it go.
-
Unnamed Poster 8
- Posts: 11154
- Joined: Wed Jul 10, 2019 4:58 pm
- Has thanked: 24 times
- Been thanked: 18 times
Re: Ghosted by a friend
Thanks for sharing youre stories. Sorry to hear so many have been through the same. I taught back on to what could have happened, there was only I thing I could think of but it happened years ago.
GoodnBad, I like youre advice to focus on the friends I have around me. Whilst we got on well I realised now that if I ever needed help, advice or shoulder to cry on I never contacted her.
I know now if she tried to get back in touch I wouldnt want her as a friend. If she had at least spoken to me I would have respected her decision.
Time to move on and appreciate the good friends I have in my life.
GoodnBad, I like youre advice to focus on the friends I have around me. Whilst we got on well I realised now that if I ever needed help, advice or shoulder to cry on I never contacted her.
I know now if she tried to get back in touch I wouldnt want her as a friend. If she had at least spoken to me I would have respected her decision.
Time to move on and appreciate the good friends I have in my life.