Scammed

[faganlesley]

I’ve thrown him out to his mothers. He accused me of treating him like a child cause I took his bank card and said I couldn’t trust him and anymore.

Told him if he wanted them back that he couldn’t let me have them until this is all sorted that I can’t help him.

My DD and my health have to come first.


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[Carmella]

Does he work? If you are planning on staying with him, you will have to take control of all the finances for good. My heart goes out to you.

[faganlesley]

No he hasn’t worked in 6 years due to his mental health. I don’t know how things are going to work out but for now I have to put myself ahead of him. For the first time in a very long period.

I can’t afford to have another stroke. This day last week I was lying in a hospital bed. Not know what would happen to me.


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[charliesangel]

You poor thing. I don't have anything to add except that you've been given a lot of good advice so far on this thread.

I'd also recommend that you appeal the bank's decision. He shouldn't be talking with the scammers any more. He shouldn't have any way to communicate with them. Can't the police do anything about tracing their communications? Actively try to get the money back or bring down whatever scammers ring they are running?
This is what is available on the Garda website: https://www.garda.ie/en/crime/cyber-cri ... i-do-.html

[charliesangel]

What bank was the money taken from/transferred out of? I'm only asking in case the bank is actually headquartered in London rather than in the IFSC in Dublin? Say for example, your account is still in Ulster Bank, they are a part of Nat West bank and they would have to adhere to the corporate rules of the top level bank (as far as I'm aware).
There is a thing called "Authorised Push Payment Scam Code" that the banks sign up to (in the UK anyway) and you may be able to push your bank on that front.
This is information from the Central Bank of Ireland :
https://www.centralbank.ie/regulation/h ... d-activity

[faganlesley]

It’s is a PTSB account.

The scammers are saying they are based in London but the address on the website is actually Estionia. The guy is an American and the phone numbers that my DH has are an Irish mobile that when you call it it’s an Irish elderly woman who answered. And a WhatsApp number that just rings out.


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[Ophelia]

I am so sorry this has happened to your family - I really
hope some one takes up your cause and helps you. Stay strong you can do this. Everyone is here to help, provide support and a listening ear.

[Ophelia]

These scammers need to be taken down and better protection put in place for vulnerable bank customers.

[Gypsy]

Those scammers are the scum of the earth. I am so sorry you are dealing with this. One foot in front of the other, you'll never look back at this and laugh, but you will look back and be glad you got through it.

[faganlesley]

I’ve just explained our DD that he’s gone for the moment. We’ve had our troubles on the past like most couples but have never. Spent the night part arguing.

I feel so lost. I love him but hate him at the same time.


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[Goingagain]

Oh no how awful, keep fighting the bank on this, take all the help you can get. I'm so sorry you are going through this, please confide in someone, stay with your parents if you feel so low. Praying it works out for you x

[Smoke]

My heart goes out to you lesley..
Your emotions towards him are perfectly reasonable. I think you need to mind your own health (both physical and emotional) right now so if that means taking any practical help from friends and family then take it.
It's a lot of money, you've every right to be angry about this. But you might need to try to let others help you with this fight with the banks for your own sake.
You're loved, you are no doubt the centre of your dd's world, you are a child in your parent's eyes and no doubt the centre of their world too. Please don't lose sight of your relevance and immense importance in this world. This stressful time will resolve eventually, normal life will resume again, and you will be happy again after all this has subsided.

[Iamsoneedy]

I’m going to write a letter to the bank and see how we get on. My DH doctor is providing a letter to say he’s not able to make decisions like this without knowing the implications


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You’re right to put everything in writing to the bank. Keep copies.

Have you someone to help you with any of this? Dealing with big institutions and fighting your corner is exhausting at the best of times not to mention when you have other things on your plate.

Mind yourself.

[rosepetal]

My dh works in a bank (not ptsb) and his advice is to get onto the bank again asap and emphasise your dh is a vulnerable customer and that you want to put in for a recall immediately. Also check the calls are recorded in case you need proof later on.

Sorry it only occurred to me afterwards that I might not have been totally clear, its a recall of the funds you need to request (not a recall as in phone call) . Just in case it was confusing.

[Mrs Ems]

I’m glad you’ve got onto consumer protection and also that you have a friend now in your corner helping you to fight for the money.
Of course you feel angry towards your DH and maybe in time that will lessen and you will be able to move on.
For the moment though please don’t give up on yourself or your daughter. You’re at a very low point in so many ways but it will get better.