bullying at school

[StarryNight]

That is absolutely shocking. I hope your poor ds is OK.
Any school has to be better than that.

[mcmammy2]

That is appalling. I am so sorry you had to go through that. I am even more sorry for your son. I am glad you are taking him out for him and you. Counselling will hopefully get him into a better place mentally and emotionally. The guards are also a good idea. Send a letter to your local TD and Department of Education letting them know your situation. You have nothing to lose at this point and everything to gain. Onwards and upwards for your DS and you.

[luxie]

I don’t know what to say. Your son and you have been seriously let down by that school.

[Deise]

Sounds horrendous. Have you looked up a Section 29 appeal?
I know you are probably as well off out of there, but I think I'd be defending my son as much as I could going on details giving so far.

What age is your ds? Moving to another school at this stage could be difficult too.

[DiscoGirl]

I’m sorry your son is going through this and ye as a family , I’m stunned at the schools response, I wonder would legal advice be any help , it’s seems the school has failed in their duty of care towards your son , I would be emailing every local TD & radio station to highlight the schools response ,mind yourselves

[StarryNight]

Sounds horrendous. Have you looked up a Section 29 appeal?
I know you are probably as well off out of there, but I think I'd be defending my son as much as I could going on details giving so far.

What age is your ds? Moving to another school at this stage could be difficult too.

There's no option but to move him. Why would anyone keep their child in that sort of environment.

[Unnamed poster 7]

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[Unnamed Poster 8]

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[Deise]

I didn't mention staying , and I didn't say it would be more traumatic moving.

I said it would be difficult, and I would defend my son.

[mcmammy2]

I don't have a child yet in secondary school but stories like this terrify me. DS1 was bullied a bit in first class and has had an issue recently with two boys. All resolved very well. However I worry about him going to secondary school. Its awful that these situations can escalate and noone seems to be able to do anything. I sincerely hope most schools would actually do something. How do other schools deal with bullying?

[CocoRose]

This sounds like such a hard situation. I would also move if I could with this. I know my DS's school have absolute hard line about suspension when it comes to this, if you hit first or last it is automatic as far as I am aware.

There are fee paying online schools, if you wanted to bridge the gap before he finds somewhere new.

[charliesangel]

I would document everything. Absolutely everything. Go back to diaries and appointments and write it all down.

I would then email/post by registered post a copy of this account to your DS's teacher, year head (if he's in secondary school), deputy principal, Principal and the Chair of the Board of Management. Basically send it to anyone and everyone involved in the management of this school.

Outline your complaint that on numerous occasions in the past your son was bullied by other pupils and you raised each of these to their attention and you are most dissatisfied from a 'duty of care' point of view that your son didn't feel safe or secure while attending school. Also, if possible, print out the Anti-Bullying policy from the school website and if they don't have one, they should. Point out in your complaint where the school have failed (in your opinion) to prevent this bullying from happening repeatedly to your son.
Your son is being punished now for standing up to these bullies and you're not having it.
If there is further bullying, you will either go down the route of a solicitor to get some form of restraining order (if there is something similar to an ASBO) or you'll be going to the Gardai to report it, each and every time.

If they refuse to deal with the bullies, you will now remove your son from the school until such time as they deal effectively with the bullies. They will have to explain to Tusla and any other Government department why there is a repeated absence for your son.

That's my advice.

[Original poster]

Just updating. So following on from the meeting on the we had last week, I responded to the school on Monday morning first thing looking for a copy of the minutes of the meeting and the recording as the meeting was recorded and we had given permission for it. Secondly I informed the school formally that DS would not be returning to the school as the school had left us no option. I got no response from the school Monday or Tuesday and eventually I had to call on them. I spoke to the school principal who was so arrogant, not once asked about DS's welfare and basically denied that the school failed in their duty of care towards the DS. Plus what actually set me over the edge was the fact we were told that they had destroyed the recording of the meeting which had occurred and we still have not received a copy of the minutes. Following on from that conversation I had to them email the school again requesting a number of items and I also had to get into more detail about the schools deliberate failure towards DS. I got a response the following day from the school, including the minutes of the meeting which were surprise surprise factually incorrect. They didn't even mention the fact that they had been recorded. Then the school outlined that the last two incidents That happened with DS there had been no provocation. This is in fact a blatant lie as we had meetings with the school surrounding both those issues and the year head Had confirmed at the time that in one instance DS had been hit in the face with an object, and in the second incident DS had been continually threatened for the whole day at school, told he was going to be beaten up, and they also took his school belongings and the school and the audacity to tell me that he was not provoked. The way the school discussed my DS and the way they have pursued things, makes him out to be the problem. When in fact he has been bullied from the very day he started in that school, the school even acknowledged that he was a problem but they could not solve and now the only thing to do was turn the tables on DS .

The only positive is that we have found DS a place in the new school which he will start directly after Easter.

I have to say I am very bitter and angry towards the school, the way they treated both ourselves and DS has been completely horrendous. They showed no compassion, no willingness to resolve the issues and just wanted to get rid of the problem the easiest way they could and that was get rid of the victim out of the school.

[Deise]

That's shocking. I'd be enraged with school for either deleting the recording, or maybe saying they have deleted the recording. It's shocking.

Will you follow up with inaccuracies, and look for YH to back you up? I don't think I could leave it go. I know you have a new school, and I'm delighted to hear that, but it's awful that they've treated him, and you, like this.

Wishing him well after Easter hols. I hope he knows a few there to settle him in as he'll need the support for a while.

[mcmammy2]

I'm delighted he is staring somewhere new. I would definitely report them to the department of education. What reason do they have for destroying a recording? I would actually end up being pulled out of a meeting like that by DH cos I would explode if they failed to protect my son so you did very well.