Daughter relationship

[purple star]

Well she kind of was by dictating that no one laid eyes on her when she came for it

[StarryNight]

I wouldn't post someone behaving this way a bank card nor would I allow her to dictate the terms of collection.

[Rita]

I wouldn't post someone behaving this way a bank card nor would I allow her to dictate the terms of collection.

Really I would like to say sorry not around this weekend as having a romantic weekend away with dad.
Or make sure you ring the doorbell in case me and dad are having adult time.
Or I will leave in the sisters house when I next visit

Ok I know I wouldn’t and I would be upset but in ways I would like to say f@ck you I have a life too

[Kate30]

That sounds so very tough. I can see the pull friends and boyfriend/girlfriends have over teens. The advice you have got here is brilliant, I agree stepping back is the best for you and your health and also encourage you to get therapy. Your daughter is safe and you have given her lots of chances to talk to you so I would leave it. I would post her bank card and other post she gets, I wouldn’t try speaking to her either. For your own mental health accept she wants space from you for now.

[DiscoGirl]

I’m stunned that you were taken to hospital by ambulance , had a seizure and the paramedic let you go home without seeing anyone?? Surely this can’t happen??

[Grasscutter]

I’m stunned that you were taken to hospital by ambulance , had a seizure and the paramedic let you go home without seeing anyone?? Surely this can’t happen??

If someone wants to leave they can advise against it but they can't stop them.

[DiscoGirl]

I’m stunned that you were taken to hospital by ambulance , had a seizure and the paramedic let you go home without seeing anyone?? Surely this can’t happen??

If someone wants to leave they can advise against it but they can't stop them.

Thanks for clearing that up , I never knew this and especially after a seizure im stunned

[Martha]

Sorry I’m late replying but my posts need to be approved so not always instant . I think I just to step away . Maybe I should let her call for her card . She never said we had to leave the house , she just said she wouldn’t talk to us , which is what I asked her .
Maybe posting the card would be better as it would be hurtful to see her just walk in and ignore us if we happen to be here .
She did it after Christmas, called for a parcel , gave me a filthy look and left . Maybe I’ll just post it .

Honestly, just text her, saying

'I'll post the bank letter when it arrives. Hope all is well. Love you always.'

That’s what I think I would do, or leave it at the Auntie’s house for her, if I was passing.

Hope things ease off soon.

[HeyJude]

I’m stunned that you were taken to hospital by ambulance , had a seizure and the paramedic let you go home without seeing anyone?? Surely this can’t happen??

If someone wants to leave they can advise against it but they can't stop them.

Yes but you wouldn't expect the paramedic to agree with that, especially if someone has had a seizure and they arrived by ambulance??

[Grasscutter]

OP said she asked the paramedic could she go home and he agreed. So we don't know exactly what he did say and some people will hear what they want to. He may have agreed that she could go home without agreeing that she should go home. I find it more strange that she spent four hours in an ambulance with a paramedic. I've been to hospital many times with DD in an ambulance and the experience has always been for the paramedics to get away as quickly as possible - dump you on the first people they can and then you can be left waiting hours but the paramedics never stayed and DD has gone in with seizures and brain bleeds. Not doubting the OP - just find it odd. I would expect a paramedic or any health professional to encourage someone who has had a panic attack, never mind a seizure, to stay and get medical treatment.

[Rita]

Unfortunately at the moment ambulances are queuing in A&e and they can’t unload as no room.
And if all vital signs are ok the paramedic may have said she could go..not that she should.

But you should follow it up with your gp asap if you haven’t and get checked fully. I know stress can be a factor but you need a full check.

[Gypsy]

There is as they say 3 sides to every story. OP what you are doing is not working and doesn't seem likely to get the result you want so you need to change it up and do something else. That something else might be nothing at all.

[Sad mum]

To clear up , there was a queue of ambulances, no one was going anywhere , we waited approx 4 hours in the back of the ambulance. I was getting claustrophobic and just wanted to go home . The paramedic did not agree but obviously he couldn’t force me to stay . I just would hate anyone to think he was being negligent in any way because he was absolutely wonderful throughout.

[August]

I have to say I agree with Cocorose about your sister’s role in this. We teach our children to be social upstanders, that by staying silent when we can see someone inflicting harm we become part of the problem. Surely it should be the same in family life? I think it could be perfectly possible for your sister to calmly and clearly state that she does not approve of how your daughter is treating you, without that necessarily damaging their relationship. It doesn’t have to take the form of a row. Your daughter needs to know that others won’t condone her behaviour.

[Carmella]

Well you can’t change other people, you can only change yourself and you could do with some counselling urgently.

Are you working? Is there an employee assistance programme at work that you could use? Can you visit the GP and ask them for help? There is cheaper counselling options available sometimes if there is a trainee present. You need to look after your health and not wait any longer.

She is not just treating you badly but your whole family. You need to get help and support for yourself and maybe your younger daughter too.
Good luck.