Clusterf#ck

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Millie
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Re: Clusterf#ck

#91 Post by Millie »

I’m sorry to read about all you have had to endure Done. You have tried so hard. I hope you really up the self care in the next few months. Thank you for sharing your storyX

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Re: Clusterf#ck

#92 Post by Done »

I got a protection order yesterday. It was a bit nerve wracking but I got great help from the local domestic violence support service. As they predicted, he wasn't happy about it. I got a message last night after he was served with it, accusing me of lying in my statement. Well, he'll have his chance to tell his side to the court in 3 weeks.

I am hoping it won't be necessary to have the 14 year old give evidence at the full hearing, but they are more than happy to do so. They are staying with my parents at the moment and have had no contact from their father in over a week.

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Re: Clusterf#ck

#93 Post by Tobo »

I've no advice or anything but wanted to say you are so brave and your kids are lucky to have you as their mum.

Shining
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Re: Clusterf#ck

#94 Post by Shining »

Definitely. Well done

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Re: Clusterf#ck

#95 Post by Unnamed Poster 8 »

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Carmella
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Re: Clusterf#ck

#96 Post by Carmella »

Well done.

mcmammy2
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Re: Clusterf#ck

#97 Post by mcmammy2 »

Well done. Hope you have good support IRL. You can do this

Novbaby31
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Re: Clusterf#ck

#98 Post by Novbaby31 »

None of this is easy, I really admire your strength and grace in dealing with this. You have done everything you can with regards to your DH, now it is time to focus and your needs and the kids needs and leave him to deal with the consequences of his actions.

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Re: Clusterf#ck

#99 Post by Shining »

Very good point. He is fully responsible for the consequences of his actions.
If he is going to send you abusive messages then I would consider blocking him and he can email you or use a third party.

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Re: Clusterf#ck

#100 Post by Guest »

Thanks all.

I just don't comprehend how it came to this. I would give anything to know what on earth is going on in his head. He has skipped the remorse stage of this, so I won't ever be getting any sort of explanation.

I amn't going to block hisessages yet. As he is just next door, they help give me a sense of what form he is in and if he sends more abusive ones it will just help me in court.

The messages I really don't understand are the ones where he acts as if things are normal. However, it is giving me a better insight into how I lived in denial about the drinking for so long.

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Re: Clusterf#ck

#101 Post by Elsie »

at least you have recognised it was denial. We all want everything to run smoothly and be like every other family - even though every family have their own sh*t to deal with that we know nothing about. You gave him all the chances in the world but once he raised a hand, thats it - game over. The messages..... hes been at that for years - sending normal messages, pretending that nothings happened, that yesterday has been forgotten about. I dont know you but from what i read here you are very strong and resilient. and yes keep all the messages - that will eventually show a pattern.

wishing you all the best for the court hearing. x
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Re: Clusterf#ck

#102 Post by tippexile »

Well done on getting the protection order. Don't be hard on yourself, you are obviously a kind and caring person who wanted to give him a chance to redeem.himself. As for being in denial, I think we all have been in circumstances where we have turned a blind eye or denied something was happening because it's too painful to admit it. It's true what they say it's the hope that kills you. Take care.

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