Clusterf#ck

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Elsie
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Re: Clusterf#ck

#76 Post by Elsie »

oh done, that is such a hard thing for you to accept. You really have been amazing throughout but now he really needs to know that if he is drawing a line here that there is no going back, cos i could nearly guarantee he will regret this and appeal to your better nature down the road.... and you have to know that too.

wishing you continued strength.x
tippexile
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Re: Clusterf#ck

#77 Post by tippexile »

I'm sorry that it has come to this but as you know, you have done everything you could do. You know that you can get through this.
He is the only person that can help himself and if he wants to run away rather than facing up to his issues, it's his own choice.
Take care
Dax
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Re: Clusterf#ck

#78 Post by Dax »

I just wanted to add my support, my marriage ended quite suddenly earlier this year so I understand a little of what you're going through.
While it's been difficult and of course there's still a lot of things to be sorted out, 3 months on I'm already feeling stronger, freer and and realising how much control of my own life I had given over to my exH.
You will get through this and you will be stronger and happier for it. Continue with the counselling if you can, it has been invaluable for me. Best of luck with the next chapter of your life.
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Re: Clusterf#ck

#79 Post by Done »

Done wrote: Wed May 25, 2022 6:55 am So after 3 sessions of marriage counseling he has packed it in and called a day on the marriage.

He says that he needs to go back to being himself but that I just see him as an alcoholic.

My theory is that, as feared much earlier in the thread, he would rather walk away than address his actions. It was becoming clear that I wasn't going to accept that and the marriage counselor wasn't either. Regardless of his motivation, I am okay with it being over. I am much stronger now than I was in January and know that I have tried.
I thought the drama was over at this stage but his behaviour became violent last week. Something I never thought would happen. My physical injuries are limited to a few small bruises thanks to the eldest child coming to my rescue when they heard my screams. I will be applying for a barring order.
tippexile
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Re: Clusterf#ck

#80 Post by tippexile »

I'm so sorry that you had to endure that and that your child had to witness it.
I hope that you get all the help and support you need 8n getting a barring order. I'm sure there are women here who know unfortunately all about the process.
Hope that you are OK.
Unnamed Poster 8
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Re: Clusterf#ck

#81 Post by Unnamed Poster 8 »

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Re: Clusterf#ck

#82 Post by QUATTRO »

So sorry how things have turned out for you OP. I was also married to an addict and I know how soul destroying it is to lose your relationship to addiction. It is hard to separate and a struggle especially financially but I sleep easier now on my own with my boys. I only regret staying as long as I did trying to fix him. Residebtial rehab was a no go for my ex too and I think it tells a lot about an addicts resolve to get better when they won't try that. It is more damaging to children to stay I think.
Nodrog
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Re: Clusterf#ck

#83 Post by Nodrog »

I am so sorry you and your eldest went through this.
There is no excuse. None whatsoever. Nobody deserves to be treated like this.
I hope you called the guards and had him arrested. He is an abusive bully to have physically assault you.
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Groucho
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Re: Clusterf#ck

#84 Post by Groucho »

I am so sorry to read your update. Keep well & stay strong xx
Maisy
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Re: Clusterf#ck

#85 Post by Maisy »

I'm terribly sorry to read your update. You have been through the mill and given it your all. I hope you have some support around you to help you through this.
Tobo
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Re: Clusterf#ck

#86 Post by Tobo »

I'm sorry to read your update. So brave of you to come write it here.
I hope you have support from a family member or close friend.
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Carmella
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Re: Clusterf#ck

#87 Post by Carmella »

I agree and just wanted to wish you all the very best. Every step you take now is a step in the right direction, away from him. I’m so sorry you and your eldest child went through that and just wanted to wish you well. I hope you have support in real life x
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Minion
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Re: Clusterf#ck

#88 Post by Minion »

I'm so sorry to read your update. Follow through on that barring order asap and document everything, take photos etc. I hope you have family and /or friends nearby who can support you. Stay strong, you're an amazing, brave woman who's coped with so much, you are a very strong person.
mcmammy2
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Re: Clusterf#ck

#89 Post by mcmammy2 »

Sorry to read the update. You have done all you can. You are right to move away and stay away. Hope like others have said you have a strong support network.
Shining
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Re: Clusterf#ck

#90 Post by Shining »

I'm sorry to read this. I'd urge you to contact womens aid and ask for the local domestic violence support group in your area (where I live it's not women's aid) but it will support you in the barring order and also support your child and yourself (many have programmes for children who experienced violence in the home).
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