Struggling

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Shining
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Re: Struggling

#91 Post by Shining »

Small update. I asked for a meeting with my boss (didn't tell him why): he is very busy and arranged a time before lunch. Anyway I started crying and it took me ages before I could speak but I managed to fill him in. He was lovely and very understanding and told me not to worry, that he and the Company are here for me etc etc, Support I needed. I explained that I'm just not in the right space to know what I might need.
I realised then about the internal interview which was in an hour and he said he would send my apologies etc, not to worry, did I want to reschedule. I know it's an opportunity but I explained I'm just not in the right place for an interview. That is very tough to admit when my contract is ending but hopefully there will be another chance along the way.
After talking to a relative I decided to tell them so I don't fear and worry about it.
I went to the gym this morning and spent a long session moving weights and managed not to cry.
I'm taking two tablets a day and today I do feel calmer. The aim is to try and get over the extreme anxiety/sadness/etc and take it from there.
Last edited by Shining on Mon Jan 17, 2022 9:35 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Struggling

#92 Post by Unnamed Poster 8 »

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tippexile
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Re: Struggling

#93 Post by tippexile »

Great update Shining. I'm glad that you are feeling a bit better and that your boss was so nice. Your ex sounds horrendous. You did the right thing. He is a bully and his threats are a control mechanism.
Just keep saying to yourself that things will get better, it might take time but things will get better.

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Re: Struggling

#94 Post by Groucho »

So glad your boss was decent and understanding, what a difference that makes. If you think about it, you've done quite a bit of positive, moving forward stuff this week, despite feeling like crap. You should be proud of yourself.

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Re: Struggling

#95 Post by mcmammy2 »

Shining could you go to that gardai about your ex harassing you? I know you posted before about him and he sounds a right piece of work.

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Re: Struggling

#96 Post by Shining »

He 100% contributed to my current situation.
Last edited by Shining on Mon Jan 17, 2022 9:35 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Struggling

#97 Post by molls »

Oh Shining, I can't imagine how traumatic dealing with him must be. Looking after yourself takes a lot of his power away. Yes, you might be finding it tough in part due to him, but you are going to be okay and we've all got your back (virtually anyway).

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Re: Struggling

#98 Post by Shining »

Thanks
Last edited by Shining on Mon Jan 17, 2022 9:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Struggling

#99 Post by molls »

He sounds very dangerous. As we've seen from cases such as Harvey Weinstein and Prince Andrew, many of the worst men use their status to blind people to their ways and to discredit their victims.

Much smaller scale than your ex, but the vigil I attended for Ashling Murphy was organised by someone with a questionable attitude to young women. I am sure he thinks he is one of the good guys.
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Re: Struggling

#100 Post by Unnamed poster 7 »

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Re: Struggling

#101 Post by Rita »

I am glad shining you are now getting help. You need to move yourself away from your abuser as that is what he is.
I think telling people like your manager is a good step.

I know you probably are doing this anyway but have as little contact as you can with him. Even if he reads all the posts here let him be..your girls are growing up and I assume they are the only reason you need contact with him. Let yourself shine and get him out of your head with help which you are doing. Which I know is hard and emotionally very hard but you can do it xxx

I remember growing up some of the biggest abusers of their wives were pillars of society. My mother used tell me never believe everything you see .
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Re: Struggling

#102 Post by Shining »

T
Last edited by Shining on Mon Jan 17, 2022 9:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Struggling

#103 Post by Rita »

if you need us to delete anything too just say but it’s sad someone has nothing better to do than check what their ex is doing..we are obviously all mentally unstable strangers so!

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Re: Struggling

#104 Post by Chicken little »

Can’t read and not comment Shining. You sound so strong and amazing for what you are going through. We all never know what goes on behind closed doors. Take care of yourself and well done. You’re so much better off without your ex.

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Re: Struggling

#105 Post by mcmammy2 »

Can you grey rock him. Checking up on you is abusive behaviour. Just remember he is a creep, the lowest of the low not fit to shine your shoes. He may be successful etc on the outside but he is rotten to the core. Imagine how shit it must be to be so empty that your sole purpose in life is to put another person down. Imagine getting off on that shit. You on the other hand may not have all the trappings etc that he has but you have your dignity and your integrity and you are not a shell of a human being.
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