Hi; I'm not sure if this will come up under my username.
Anyway I've realised that I'm struggling quite badly right now. In a nutshell I've had a tough life. On the outside I'm sure I look perfectly OK and I'm managing OK but I finding that everything is catching up with me. The last week or two I'm constantly on the verge of tears and I worry continually. I can't even describe it as worry; its a deep feeling of dread. I absolutely hate myself at times. At the moment I'm struggling quite badly.
I have overcome a lot as I said and I think I'm suffering from ptsd. I was diagnosed with anxiety last year.
I don't even know why I'm posting. I don't even know what to do or what I'm doing. I'm sorry.
Struggling
Struggling
- These users thanked the author Shining for the post (total 4):
- NDM • MrsBrightside • MaudGonne • HeyJude
Re: Struggling
I think this time of year is very hard Shining. Do you think a chat with you GP might be of any help?
-
Kensington
- Posts: 5799
- Joined: Thu Dec 03, 2015 4:06 pm
- Has thanked: 16 times
- Been thanked: 269 times
Re: Struggling
Agree this can be a hard time of year - and god knows the last 2 years have been brutal - but you sound like you have a real dose of anxiety - that feeling of dread particularly. I know from your other posts you have overcome a lot and should be really proud of yourself - not down on yourself. I agree a chat with the GP would help. thinking of you.
- These users thanked the author Kensington for the post (total 3):
- purple star • Millie • Tinky
Re: Struggling
So sorry your feeling like this. I hope you have support around you. Can you ring your GP and have a chat with him. Have you got someone you can talk to. Dont suffer in silence. Hope you will be ok
Re: Struggling
Don't apologise.
It's clear that was a difficult post to write, but it was a good move to do so. You will get a lot of help, advice and comfort on here.
The Barnardo's phrase of "childhood lasts a lifetime" is true and those with a difficult childhood will bring that into adulthood. We're almost at the end of a second year of a pandemic and everyone's reserves are depleted, so if you think about it logically, it's unsurprising that you are struggling now. We are not living in normal times. After 2 years of messages about ill-health and death, restrictions on social outlets and normal life, everything is harder. But just because it makes sense, doesn't mean you just have to get on with things
You need some help in real life too. I am sure you will get some recommendations here for psychologists/therapists. What's your GP like ? Would you talk to them?
Who in your personal life can support you? I bet your initial reaction is that you don't want to burden anyone with this, but this is what family and friends are for. Imagine the roles were reversed and your partner/siblings/friends felt like this, would you want them to tell you?
You need to actively be kind to yourself now. That means not berating yourself for you thoughts, seeking support and putting yourself first for a while.
It's clear that was a difficult post to write, but it was a good move to do so. You will get a lot of help, advice and comfort on here.
The Barnardo's phrase of "childhood lasts a lifetime" is true and those with a difficult childhood will bring that into adulthood. We're almost at the end of a second year of a pandemic and everyone's reserves are depleted, so if you think about it logically, it's unsurprising that you are struggling now. We are not living in normal times. After 2 years of messages about ill-health and death, restrictions on social outlets and normal life, everything is harder. But just because it makes sense, doesn't mean you just have to get on with things
You need some help in real life too. I am sure you will get some recommendations here for psychologists/therapists. What's your GP like ? Would you talk to them?
Who in your personal life can support you? I bet your initial reaction is that you don't want to burden anyone with this, but this is what family and friends are for. Imagine the roles were reversed and your partner/siblings/friends felt like this, would you want them to tell you?
You need to actively be kind to yourself now. That means not berating yourself for you thoughts, seeking support and putting yourself first for a while.
-
DiscoGirl
- Posts: 14612
- Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2014 10:23 pm
- Has thanked: 58 times
- Been thanked: 76 times
Re: Struggling
well posting here was a great first step xx
Maybe a chat with your GP might be no harm,, do you have any other support?
This time of year can be triggering and add to that we are in a pandemic, I hope posting here helps you xx
Maybe a chat with your GP might be no harm,, do you have any other support?
This time of year can be triggering and add to that we are in a pandemic, I hope posting here helps you xx
Re: Struggling
Shining,I couldn't read and not reply. Firstly you have nothing to be sorry about. Its a tough time of year when the emphasis is on being together when in reality a lot of us, are struggling with loneliness and focusing of what we haven't got rather than counting our blessings for what we have. I used to spend every Christmas and New Year in tears,feeling that no one cared. It took a massive blow out to realised that I was really struggling and had a lot of issues. I was lucky to find a lovely counsellor who has helped me sort out my thoughts and re evaluate my self worth. Please don't underestimate your self worth,you are enough . By reaching out you have taken the first step x
Sent from my SM-A415F using Tapatalk
Sent from my SM-A415F using Tapatalk
- These users thanked the author mumto3 for the post (total 3):
- Millie • Iamanisland • Tinky
-
Unnamed poster 7
- Posts: 15418
- Joined: Wed Apr 16, 2014 10:03 am
- Has thanked: 21 times
- Been thanked: 241 times
Re: Struggling
Post Deleted
- These users thanked the author Unnamed poster 7 for the post (total 3):
- NDM • Aphex • Tinky
Re: Struggling
So sorry to hear you are struggling but I want to say well done for posting. It is hard to be strong all the time and not really possible anyway. you have come through so much and you seem like a lovely person.
Would you be able to reach irl? Friends, Gp, aware helpline, Samaritans? You deserve to feel happy.
Would you be able to reach irl? Friends, Gp, aware helpline, Samaritans? You deserve to feel happy.
Re: Struggling
Hi shining. I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling so low. Have you any access to counselling, eg through work employee assistance programme? It sounds like you’re a strong person and have already over come a lot. You can do this too. Take one day at a time, one foot in front of the other.
Re: Struggling
Life is hard and when you don't have the foundations of a good childhood and a supportive family, it is very hard to cope.
It sounds like your anxiety is really kicking you in the stomach. I have suffered from anxiety and I remember the washing machine on a full spin feeling in my stomach and the fear of everything and anything.
Can you go see your gp and see if they recommend a therapy that will help you?
CBT helped me but your gp might be more helpful in directing you towards the therapy that will benefit you the best. You might also need medication and if you do, think of it as being like a medication you have to take for a medical problem. There is no shame in needing help for something like anxiety or ptsd. Remember it will take time but you feel better . Taking the first step of asking for help is the hardest and it's the first step to feeling better.
Take care and try not to be hard on yourself. So many people go through issues like this.
It sounds like your anxiety is really kicking you in the stomach. I have suffered from anxiety and I remember the washing machine on a full spin feeling in my stomach and the fear of everything and anything.
Can you go see your gp and see if they recommend a therapy that will help you?
CBT helped me but your gp might be more helpful in directing you towards the therapy that will benefit you the best. You might also need medication and if you do, think of it as being like a medication you have to take for a medical problem. There is no shame in needing help for something like anxiety or ptsd. Remember it will take time but you feel better . Taking the first step of asking for help is the hardest and it's the first step to feeling better.
Take care and try not to be hard on yourself. So many people go through issues like this.
Re: Struggling
Sorry to hear you are struggling. I think it’s good to admit it out loud to yourself. Not sure if you have gone to your GP but don’t struggle on. Maybe medication or a talking therapy would help. But just know you are not alone. And I hope you feel better by posting.
-
Driven Demented
- Posts: 3071
- Joined: Tue Apr 15, 2014 10:28 pm
- Has thanked: 149 times
- Been thanked: 31 times
Re: Struggling
Shining
No advice to offer just to let you know you're not alone. I think it's harder somehow when you keep soldiering on and then you realize that you have nothing left to give but you still have work, children and a nasty ex to deal with. It just feels like you never catch a break. The mental exhaustion is overwhelming at times. Some of us just don't have easy lives. But we get through it somehow. I don't know how but we do. Inbuilt resilance I suppose from past traumas.
Pm me any time
No advice to offer just to let you know you're not alone. I think it's harder somehow when you keep soldiering on and then you realize that you have nothing left to give but you still have work, children and a nasty ex to deal with. It just feels like you never catch a break. The mental exhaustion is overwhelming at times. Some of us just don't have easy lives. But we get through it somehow. I don't know how but we do. Inbuilt resilance I suppose from past traumas.
Pm me any time
- These users thanked the author Driven Demented for the post:
- Tinky
Re: Struggling
Don't apologise for posting - this is what we're here for. Writing it down is a starting post.
As others have said you're not alone. I suffered from terrible anxiety and ptsd and I kept going until I was at breaking point. My GP was very good and I found what worked for me. My son is suffering from PTSD and he's hoping to start psychotherapy soon.
I would definitely go back to your GP and explain how you're feeling. If you have to wait for an appointment you ould ring Aware. I found them very good - very helpful and compassionate.
Just take it day by day.
As others have said you're not alone. I suffered from terrible anxiety and ptsd and I kept going until I was at breaking point. My GP was very good and I found what worked for me. My son is suffering from PTSD and he's hoping to start psychotherapy soon.
I would definitely go back to your GP and explain how you're feeling. If you have to wait for an appointment you ould ring Aware. I found them very good - very helpful and compassionate.
Just take it day by day.
Re: Struggling
Hi Shining. Sorry to hear you are struggling. It is absolutely not your fault. As others have said a solid happy family in childhood makes all the difference in adulthood. Although we cannot go backwards all we can do is deal with the present and future. As others have said GP would be a good step. Other things that help me is talking myself through things. As in 'right now my mind is wandering to past bad experiences and failures but those things that happened are not my fault and don't determine who I am right now'. Taking time to rest, meditate or practice mindfulness or do yoga and go for walks in nature can help too. Sounds batty but I know all that gives me the reset I need when it becomes too much and the negative self talk is in overdrive. I also find avoiding negative tv etc can help when I am upset and spending time doing something fun or chilling with friends or acquaintances is great to get you out of your headspace. All of that above is important self care that we need and it is not a luxury to mind your emotional and mental health. Definitely discuss with your GP and if medication is needed then absolutely consider it. CBT is also a very good idea. Most of all just know this you are a good person. There are people walking the streets who couldn't give a monkeys about others, do truly terrible things etc Unless you have done something truly terrible then don't be so hard on yourself. I haven't met you but I see a lot likeable in you from your posts and I can bet I am not alone.