Please

[Helpme]

I have begged and pleaded. It's 6 years since I had a baby and I'm up every single night with her. He left me 2 years ago ok because he said it was too hard. My family have said suck it up it's kids. I'm so exhausted I feel like I'd be better off dead. And I adore my kids. When she wakes me for comfort I'm there. I have never ever raised my voice or made her feel unwelcome but tonight after 4 hours sleep this week and no help I give up. I need sleep. Who will take care of them when I sleep?

[Busybee]

So so sorry to hear this. What is her main reason for waking? Maybe if you lay out your current bedtime routine etc someone might be able to give you some suggestions.
I’d also speak to your GP for help not only for her but for you.

[heyho]

She just wakes to sleep in with me. She seems to need to have the closeness. I give it Everytime but I'm so exhausted.

[Willowing]

Sorry you are struggling. Could you let her sleep with you from start of night just do you can get more sleep?

[Supamama]

I’ve been there, for 6 years with dd14 and for 6 years with dd6. So now she sleeps beside dd14. We work full time and I just cried with exhaustion recently and decided to give it a try and she’s been sleeping through the last few weeks. Dd14 is sleeping on a pull out bed so not technically in the same bed as her but she knows she’s got someone beside her. Does she have any other siblings ?

Where are you based? I’d really like to help out.

I totally 100% fully understand what you are going through. No one can unless they actually go through no sleep, broken sleep for weeks, months.



Feel free to pm me.

[Nodrog]

Can you actually sleep in the same bed as her?
If so, just let her sleep with you.
It won't continue long term.
I'm sorry you are going through this. I can cope with most things once I have a night's sleep.

[heyho]

Can't even figure out how to be anon. It took 4 hrs tonight to get my DS to sleep. He's autistic. My dd seems to play on it. I cant sleep with her in my bed. She kicks and moves a lot.

[Maisy]

That is tough going! Lack of sleep is brutal. You sound like such a loving mam.
Would you contact a sleep consultant?

[Shining]

How does your night pan out? So what time dies she gets ready for bed, what does she do while you get ds to sleep?
Maybe someone might have ideas to try a new routine.
If you had a rolled up single duvet between you, might that help with the moving if she was beside you? Or if she was on a sleeping bag? Just trying to think of different things...
Poor you. Have you any chance to rest during the day?

[Halfalump]

It took me about ten years to get dd to sleep - she slept in with me for those 10 years and even at that she woke through the night and i had to go to bed with her , if i tried even go the loo ahe woke and howled . She finally got out of my bed and into her own when she got a double bed !! And now not for love nor money will she share so if my mum visits or anything i’m on the sofa …. If you have room try a double , maybe a weighted blanket ? As others have said would a sleep consultation be an option . I feel for you , lack of sleep is a killer . Now when we have a few days of no sleep i feel like i’m going demented i dont know how i survived the early years of it.

[Rita]

Have you tried a weighted blanket?
How is she during the day?

[Elsie]

can you make a camp bed in your room ? and make it fun that she wont need to be in your bed and that when she wakes she can see you so knows that she is safe and then a chart that she gets stars if she doesnt wake you? 5 stars and she can get a prize? Bribery it may be but it might just break the cycle.... dd was the same. i really feel for you and even now mine are older if i dont get a full nights sleep im like a bag of cats.

[Woolly]

Have you tried a weighted blanket?
How is she during the day?

This might help. It definitely makes a diff for my incredibly anxious teen. Even at her age I’ve had to sleep in with her.

There is another post on here where someone had sleep issues with their child. There might be something on that. I’m rushing so maybe someone can put up a link for you.

Hang in there. Keep posting here for support. You are not alone.


Edited to add. My daughter is going through therapy at the minute. One of the tips was when she wakes incredibly anxious during the night for her to blow bubbles. So we’ve a jar of bubbles at her beside. It’s defo helped her but your child may be too young. It’s a distraction technique and might be worth a shot.

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[RDR]

Oh god but I feel for you. You will come out of this and they will sleep. It is so hard when you can't think straight for it and there's an element of finding what works for your child/ren and for you.
You've got some good suggestions already.
Random other thoughts:
Would your dd be more settled if she started in your bed? I understand what you mean about not sleeping with them and movement and found putting a line of pillows down the middle helped. Might be worth a try. A mattress in the room is another one. With ds just holding his hand for a bit seemed to work.
Talk to your GP. I found after years of broken sleep that I developed a stress response to being disturbed so had palpitations/racing heart/adrenalin coursing every time I was disturbed. S/he may be able to help.
Talk to anyone providing services for your child who has ASD. Maybe there is some sort of respite option. Maybe there is some sort of medication worth trying.
You may be right about your dd playing on what she sees happen with your ds. While not giving her a hard time she is getting to the age where you can talk about sleep and how important it is and ask how she thinks you could all get more sleep so you feel better. She might surprise you.
Would any of your family even mind the kids for a day (assuming their dad wouldn't) so you could get a sleep just to recharge your batteries?

Keep posting here. While there may not be as many threads now about sleep deprivation as there were in the MM days any one who has or is going through multi-year sleep deprivation will be happy to listen and bounce ideas to you. Hang in there.

[Shining]

I'm sorry too you are not getting more support from your family. Ok they're your kids argument etc but are families not supposed to help even once in a while, or try to help? That must be very hard on you. Do they really understand how hard you are finding it?
I know the reliance on yourself all the time is very tiring too.