Issue with DD at uni

[Rita]

If your DD goes to the Student Records office and presents a letter from her doctor, they should backdate her withdrawal to the start of the year and you should get your full payment back. There's probably a specific staff member dedicated to 1st year students who wish to withdraw.

Cocktail that is good to know.
OP I wonder can you go into the college with her and meet with the disability support area. I know they won’t deal with parents but you can go as support?
She should get extra support for her mental health difficulties. Colleges provide so much more support than school but they have to ask. Is she submitting assignments etc?

[CLBG]

Hi College, I'm really sorry you're going through this, it's so tough. My dd (15) has struggled with anxiety for years and would have been in the same place in relation to school in the past. She beats herself up so much too, and feels like she is failing. It used to make it so much worse when I got cross with her as she would internalise it and keep going into a downward spiral. I've learned to focus on and celebrate the small successes. If she got inside the door and then had to come home, we celebrated that she got that far. I've had to show so much confidence in her (even if I wasn't feeling it).. 'I'm confident you can do this' etc. It seems to help. Maybe if your dd gets out of bed and gets dressed, make a fuss of that and how great it is that she's achieved that so far. If she makes it out the door to college, but doesn't get to a lecture, that's great! She got to the building. Ask her what small step she can take, even if that small step is to take her books out of her bag and look at them. People with anxiety are hard enough on themselves.. they need the people around them to build them up, make them see the positives and the achievements. It's hard to be that support person I know. Try to mind yourself as well if you can.

[College]

ADHD is a possibility, but it would only have presented in the last 18 months or so. Before that, she was very good at her school work. Sure, she procrastinated over stuff in the past, but this was a whole other level. She tends to be very organised with her folders and likes everything just so. She keeps her room very tidy, and is usually neat and punctual.
It strikes me more like a nervous breakdown followed by severe depression.
Tea and sympathy only seems to be sending us round in circles. For example, she is bopping around now, making tea, surfing the web, on SnapChat, but when I ask her about anything she will get upset or say that it is just a front to her friends.
Later on she will start crying and get upset as things get quiet and she has time to think. In the morning, she can't or won't get up. Eventually she gets up mid morning or lunchtime and lies on the sofa eating and watching TV all day.
She has missed an assignment towards her exam this week, and won't contact her tutor or her lecturer.

Interestingly, I went through something like this in college, but from memory I was better able to function, but that could be rose tinted glasses.
I have all the presentations for ADHD and she is not like me at all.

[NellyNoggin]

Do you think she might have asd? I only ask because you say she is very neat and organised and punctual. They are typical asd traits and girls tend to be diagnosed much later than boys. Anxiety can also be an issue related to asd, feeling like you are not understood, or how you relate to peers is different.