Janeymac, those are very powerful and true words “sometimes people respond to hurt by anger “
Op do you think your dd would talk to someone, and tbh your son was very wrong to get physical with her
I hope things work out for everyone x
Sibling Rivalry
Re: Sibling Rivalry
I agree being embarrassed by parents is not unusual..don't take it personally. They start to change when they get a bit older and the parent child relationship matures into a parent young adult one...I find that with my older dd. I don't really parent her anymore...in that she is an adult. Like I am still her mum but she is responsible for herself , obviously not financially yet.
I will say whatever your dd said your son was very much in the wrong hiting her. I would be fuming tbh..however much she pushed his buttons he shouldn't hit her. I know its hard for him too but would you think she has a point and ye favour him sometimes...particularly your dh. I hope counselling helps you and maybe instead of focusing on their relationship just focus on yours and your dds. You list lots of positives so work with them. Do you tell her those? How great she is so hard working etc.
Will she move out to college? Maybe if ye can afford it encourage it in a subtle way!
I will say whatever your dd said your son was very much in the wrong hiting her. I would be fuming tbh..however much she pushed his buttons he shouldn't hit her. I know its hard for him too but would you think she has a point and ye favour him sometimes...particularly your dh. I hope counselling helps you and maybe instead of focusing on their relationship just focus on yours and your dds. You list lots of positives so work with them. Do you tell her those? How great she is so hard working etc.
Will she move out to college? Maybe if ye can afford it encourage it in a subtle way!
Re: Sibling Rivalry
I might be barking up the wrong tree entirely here but have you ever had an assessment done on your daughter?
I don’t blame your son for being sick of it, even an adult would get annoyed with that constant goading. It is best that they are separate for now at this age as he is still very young and it’s unfair that he has to put up with it and he is only 14.
Have you an Employee Assistance Programme at work? They might be able to help you also.
The last thing I will say is when they are annoying you the most is usually the time they need you the most so don’t stay mad at either of them, ask your daughter if she would like some help and consider getting an assessment for her. The type of behaviour you are describing sounds like she is dealing with a lot and it’s worth exploring.
It’s a very hard spot you are in but get some support for yourself. All the best x
I don’t blame your son for being sick of it, even an adult would get annoyed with that constant goading. It is best that they are separate for now at this age as he is still very young and it’s unfair that he has to put up with it and he is only 14.
Have you an Employee Assistance Programme at work? They might be able to help you also.
The last thing I will say is when they are annoying you the most is usually the time they need you the most so don’t stay mad at either of them, ask your daughter if she would like some help and consider getting an assessment for her. The type of behaviour you are describing sounds like she is dealing with a lot and it’s worth exploring.
It’s a very hard spot you are in but get some support for yourself. All the best x
Re: Sibling Rivalry
How is your DD with others outside of the family? Does she get on well with others or does she have difficulty?