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Anxiety and boy trying to get in contact with her

Sat Feb 22, 2020 12:30 am

DD suffers very badly with anxiety. She always has a topic on the go to be worried about e.g. death, illness, break ins.

She went on a language exchange and she met a group of people. There was one boy on the course and they got on at first. He came out to see her in our town one day and it freaked her out. He was asking her where he lived and she was worried. Then he started following her around on social media even though she was ignoring him. He began to post nasty messages into the exchange group chats about how the group were all a- holes etc.
Then the next week he posted a photo of a gun saying he had just acquired it.
My daughter was very anxious he was threatening with this and left the group. He then rang the language group guide (adult) And asked why everyone was ignoring him. The leader rang me about it (tbh I thought this was most odd) . I told him that my daughter no longer wanted to be in contact with this guy.

My daughter was very upset thinking he would follow her home and kill/ hurt her. I realise this is the anxiety talking and we managed to rationalise it.

He kept posting into other groups she was in so she left them all.

Then today, several months after all this, he posted into another group. Bloody social media. Anyway, next thing his sister requested her on Instagram and then my daughter got freaked out. She doesn't know the sister at all. She then left that group too.

Then this evening he friend requested her on fb from a blank account with his name on it.
She has blocked him everywhere she can but he keeps popping up.

She is her roaring crying now again thinking he is coming yo get her. I know this is irrational but at the same time this guy is following her around.

I told her we could go to the Gardaí but she said she was worried this would inflame him. She said he was telling her he stabbed someone in school with a compass when they annoyed him before.

What would you do in this situation. I know that we can only look to manage her anxiety but at the same time this eejit keeps popping up and upsetting her. He lives 50km away but he drives.

Re: Anxiety and boy trying to get in contact with her

Sat Feb 22, 2020 1:13 am

Read your post and didn’t want to not respond. This is a very sensitive issue for your Daughter and not completely unfounded. Would if be worth contacting your local Garda station and asking their advice. She is being stalked in my opinion, and has grounds to at least flag him to the Gardai. I understand she doesn’t want to but it’s in her best interest to have him made known to the Gardai. Awful situation for any young girl to be in.

Re: Anxiety and boy trying to get in contact with her

Sat Feb 22, 2020 1:41 am

She needs to go to the Garda.

Re: Anxiety and boy trying to get in contact with her

Sat Feb 22, 2020 2:36 am

I would be contacting the Gardaí. As soon as possible. Someone needs to have serious words with this young man.

Re: Anxiety and boy trying to get in contact with her

Sat Feb 22, 2020 6:51 am

I would not hesitate to report this to the Gardai. It’s tantamount to harassment.

Re: Anxiety and boy trying to get in contact with her

Sat Feb 22, 2020 8:46 am

go to the guards and let them advise next steps

Re: Anxiety and boy trying to get in contact with her

Sat Feb 22, 2020 9:28 am

That would freak anyone out, with or without underlying anxiety.

Re: Anxiety and boy trying to get in contact with her

Sat Feb 22, 2020 10:17 am

I would definitely be having a word with the Gardaí.

Re: Anxiety and boy trying to get in contact with her

Sat Feb 22, 2020 10:39 am

Without doubt you need to get advise from the guards. At the very least he is stalking/harassing her. Anyone would be freaked out by what he is doing, anxiety issues or not. You don’t know this guy and have no idea what is going on in his head.

Re: Anxiety and boy trying to get in contact with her

Sat Feb 22, 2020 11:04 am

Yes I think you should have a chat with the gardai. It's gone beyond normal behaviour into obsessing about your daughter.

Re: Anxiety and boy trying to get in contact with her

Sat Feb 22, 2020 11:50 am

A problem with mental health issues is that serious concerns get brushed off because people are not believed. I would be very concerned at all this and would not be mentioning any mh issues when reporting.
Worry about something that is real is not the same as catastrophising something minor.
I believe your dd that this is not minor.

Re: Anxiety and boy trying to get in contact with her

Sat Feb 22, 2020 11:51 am

Guards now.

Re: Anxiety and boy trying to get in contact with her

Sat Feb 22, 2020 11:57 am

I would definitely go to the Guards and get advice on this. As other posters have said behaviour like this would freak anyone out.

Re: Anxiety and boy trying to get in contact with her

Sat Feb 22, 2020 12:00 pm

Please report this. Your dd needs to feel safe. This is harassment.
Don’t connect her anxiety to this. It is normal to feel anxious when you are threatened. We need to be able to listen to our instincts when we know something isn’t right. If she feels she is over reacting as she is anxious anyway she will let stuff go when she shouldn’t.

Re: Anxiety and boy trying to get in contact with her

Sat Feb 22, 2020 12:22 pm

Thanks all.
To be clear- he stopped for a few months and then when she left the group he posted in yesterday, he started up again.

She is very worried about me even posting here as he claims he is very techy and a good hacker. She is worried we will provoke him by going to the police.

DD has said that he is a little strange and doesn't get on with people at school, but is extremely clever. I think possibly that he doesn't realise that this is socially unacceptable.

You are correct however. I will do it as either way he needs to be told.
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