My friend said my dh groped her

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Groucho
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Re: My friend said my dh groped her

#31 Post by Groucho »

I don't think I'd ignore it. If it's not true, imagine if she's told other people? Your DH's good name is at stake. If it is true, I'd want to know too (I think). If you just leave it go, will you always wonder whether there was anything to it?

I'd probably ask her to come and discuss it with you and your DH - that you are both extremely bothered by this. If there's no truth to it (and unless she's a total sociopath), she'll surely back down at that point.

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Re: My friend said my dh groped her

#32 Post by DiscoGirl »

I know where you are coming from Janeymac , but this woman thought enough to say it to op , if it was something if nothing she wouldn't have mentioned it

lolly
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Re: My friend said my dh groped her

#33 Post by lolly »

To me it sounds like she is jealous of your relationship with your husband and just wants to stir up shit and she sounds like she’s so full of herself and thinks all men will fall at her feet including your DH and maybe he didn’t respond to her flirty ways and this is her way of payback

Swoon
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Re: My friend said my dh groped her

#34 Post by Swoon »

I'd be asking what your husband wants to do. He's the one who has been accused. Solicitors etc seem crazy at this stage.
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Deise
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Re: My friend said my dh groped her

#35 Post by Deise »

I don't think I could just put it our of my mind, her saying he groped her and him saying he knows nothing about it are poles are, somebody is lying and I'd have ants in my pants about the whole thing until I got some kind of closure.

I think I'd have to ask her to go thru' the sequence of events with me, was she at the bar and he was beside her ordering and maybe brushed off her and she misconstrued it, or maybe she is saying he full on laid his 2 hands on her ass and had a good fondle. I'm not suggesting getting the law involved, just getting some kind of explanation. For example, was she drunk, is she a trouble maker etc.

Playing devils advocate, and I am not trying to upset you and say this IS the case here, but lots of men lie, and lots of women are in the dark and say my dh would never do X, Y, Z.

The likes of this thread really make me uncomfortable and I would loop between feeling angry for her for making up this story, and doubting him and wondering was there any truth in it.
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Supermaman
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Re: My friend said my dh groped her

#36 Post by Supermaman »

I agree she sounds like she wants to create discord between you and your husband.
I know who I’d believe and I wouldn’t need any rehashing from her.

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Re: My friend said my dh groped her

#37 Post by mcmammy2 »

I'd just keep it simple. Explain to her the repercussions of her actions(i.e.she has accused your husband and others of something that could be regarded as a criminal action, that if incorrect she could be accused of slander) , Ask her if there is anything she would like to say or add.

Penny
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Re: My friend said my dh groped her

#38 Post by Penny »

lolly wrote:To me it sounds like she is jealous of your relationship with your husband and just wants to stir up shit and she sounds like she’s so full of herself and thinks all men will fall at her feet including your DH and maybe he didn’t respond to her flirty ways and this is her way of payback
This is exactly what I thought. She asked that you don't mention it to your husband, why bother telling you so. And I don't know of anyone who gets groped on a regular basis, it certainly isn't common. I would not be getting solicitors involved.

Talk to your DH about asking to meet her to talk through her accusation.

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Re: My friend said my dh groped her

#39 Post by Apple »

DiscoGirl wrote:I know where you are coming from Janeymac , but this woman thought enough to say it to op , if it was something if nothing she wouldn't have mentioned it
Unless she wants to annoy op and reiterate how attractive all men are finding her even ops dh . That’s what it sounds like to me, she sounds like someone to pity tbh.

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Re: My friend said my dh groped her

#40 Post by wuzziwig »

If any HM came on here and said that her friend's DH grabbed her ass and asked what should she do about it, what would the replies be?

Would she be advised to just ignore it? Let it go as it's nothing?

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Re: My friend said my dh groped her

#41 Post by HeyJude »

Exactly wuzziwig. She'd be told to do something about it, either report it or confront him or tell the friend etc.

I know the OP says she knows her DH but I would say there are a lot of men (& women) in jail or in court whose partners thought they knew their DPs also and believed them when they said they didn't do anything. So don't just assume the woman is lying.

What was the context of her telling you OP? Did she mention it in passing or call you to tell you or ???

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Re: My friend said my dh groped her

#42 Post by Posher »

wuzziwig wrote:If any HM came on here and said that her friend's DH grabbed her ass and asked what should she do about it, what would the replies be?

Would she be advised to just ignore it? Let it go as it's nothing?
Well I seem to be in a minority but I certainly wouldn't be advising making a Garda report or visiting a solicitor. :rolleyes:
lolly wrote:To me it sounds like she is jealous of your relationship with your husband and just wants to stir up shit and she sounds like she’s so full of herself and thinks all men will fall at her feet including your DH and maybe he didn’t respond to her flirty ways and this is her way of payback
This sounds like what it is to me. Ignoring it is the best strategy IMO.
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Re: My friend said my dh groped her

#43 Post by Flux »

I'm inclined to agree with you Posher. I would leave it be and give her a wide berth in future.
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Re: My friend said my dh groped her

#44 Post by Ophelia »

I wouldn’t involve police or solicitors but I would question her further on it and I would most certainly tell her I had told my husband and he denied it happened and was horrified at the suggestion.

Sounds to me like she is attention seeking.

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Re: My friend said my dh groped her

#45 Post by janeymac »

wuzziwig wrote:If any HM came on here and said that her friend's DH grabbed her ass and asked what should she do about it, what would the replies be?

Would she be advised to just ignore it? Let it go as it's nothing?
But that's not the situation here. The op's friend has told her, saying not to mention it to her husband as it would embarrass him and further said it's no big deal as she often gets her ass grabbed by men!
This woman if indeed she regularly gets groped must be happy enough to ignore it unless she has several sexual assault claims going.....or else she has an overactive imagination....

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