Meeting someone after breakup

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Deise
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Re: Meeting someone after breakup

#106 Post by Deise »

Ah, enjoy the here and now Tinky, a few dates will be good for you either way, all part of the getting back out there process.

Tinky
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Re: Meeting someone after breakup

#107 Post by Tinky »

Exactly. He’s lovely and happy to spend time with him when we can with 5 kids between us (he’s very hands on, wish he was MY ex H:)) I like more things than I dislike, it’s just the dislike ones are really annoying:)


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Jenna
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Re: Meeting someone after breakup

#108 Post by Jenna »

Tinky wrote:I like more things than I dislike, it’s just the dislike ones are really annoying:)


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I wouldn't bother meeting him again if there are already some things about him that really annoy you!

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Meeting someone after breakup

#109 Post by Tinky »

I’m not marrying him!


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Re: Meeting someone after breakup

#110 Post by Jenna »

Tinky wrote:I’m not marrying him!


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Obviously. I just mean I wouldn't be bothered spending time with someone I find annoying. Maybe you don't mind.

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Re: Meeting someone after breakup

#111 Post by Tinky »

He’s not annoying, he’s lovely - just a couple of things he does are annoying and would stop me wanting something long term with him even if I wanted that. I don’t feel I’ll be wasting my time hanging out with him and having fun though.


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Grasscutter
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Re: Meeting someone after breakup

#112 Post by Grasscutter »

No you definitely wouldn’t be wasting your time. We all have annoying habits whether we believe that or not - and we are all annoyed by different things. And sometimes we can surprise ourselves by not being annoyed or at least being less annoyed by certain things over time. I think we can learn something from everyone so if you enjoy his company I can’t see how it would be a waste of time meeting again.

I do wonder as well as we age do we become super fussy and hyper critical. When I think back to my twenties there’s a tonne of stuff I wouldn’t have cared about that would bug me now.

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EmilyBronte
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Re: Meeting someone after breakup

#113 Post by EmilyBronte »

Tinky wrote:He’s not annoying, he’s lovely - just a couple of things he does are annoying and would stop me wanting something long term with him even if I wanted that. I don’t feel I’ll be wasting my time hanging out with him and having fun though.


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I wonder though if you spent more time together would you convince yourself the annoying things were not that big a deal.

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Re: Meeting someone after breakup

#114 Post by Tinky »

It could go either way - the things could annoy me more! They aren’t huge things and would be easily sorted if I said something. Anyway I don’t think either of us are ready for anything too serious so being on the same wavelength there is very important. He is an excellent dad and spends loads of time with his kids and of course I live with mine so there isn’t a lot of time for anyone else.


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Re: Meeting someone after breakup

#115 Post by August »

EmilyBronte wrote:
Tinky wrote:He’s not annoying, he’s lovely - just a couple of things he does are annoying and would stop me wanting something long term with him even if I wanted that. I don’t feel I’ll be wasting my time hanging out with him and having fun though.


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I wonder though if you spent more time together would you convince yourself the annoying things were not that big a deal.
I think this is possible! It depends on what you want though and on how good you are at avoiding emotional entanglement.

I think I’ve actually grown more tolerant with age rather than less.

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Re: Meeting someone after breakup

#116 Post by Incognito »

It's great you had a good time and got on well. You must be chuffed you've dipped your toe back in. Good luck with it all whatever way things work out.
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Re: Meeting someone after breakup

#117 Post by Tinky »

It’s just nice to get the odd text or call during the day/eve checking in to see how I am or asking what I’m up to - I didn’t realise how much I’d missed that feeling of being cared for even if it is still pretty superficial. Someone thinking about you is a great confidence boost and I’m reluctant to give that up with someone I do genuinely enjoy spending time with because I don’t like everything about them.


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EmilyBronte
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Re: Meeting someone after breakup

#118 Post by EmilyBronte »

Do we ever like everything about someone? I think once you like a lot more than you dislike and the things you dislike are not game changers like say meanness or rudeness it’s worth giving someone a chance.

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Re: Meeting someone after breakup

#119 Post by Tinky »

Yes he’s definitely not mean or rude. Nothing that couldn’t be sorted. I’m just not at the stage where I care enough to bother.


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Re: Meeting someone after breakup

#120 Post by DazedandConfused »

Sounds like nice, pleasant, stress free way to dip your toe back in the dating waters. Best of luck with it.
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