Cannot take criticism

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Embarrased
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Cannot take criticism

#1 Post by Embarrased »

Regular gone anon.

My problem is I cannot take criticism at all without getting upset.
A few months ago I applied for a position at work. I was turned down for a couple of reasons. I got so upset I had to leave the office.
I filled in last week for the role as the person that did get it was away and I thought I proved myself and feedback was good.Today, I got an email from my manager about something I did last week. It was a ' just so you know ' type of email rather than anything very official.
I have left the office again and have spent the last two hours crying. I like to do a job well and I feel that I now haven't and it's really upset me. I don't think I'll be considered for the role again in future and I'm annoyed but I'm more annoyed that I can't control my emotions .
What can I do to stop this.

mcmammy2
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Re: Cannot take criticism

#2 Post by mcmammy2 »

Could you try CBT,?

CocoRose
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Re: Cannot take criticism

#3 Post by CocoRose »

You need to give yourself a break and have a good chat with your manager. Ask could they help you achieve a better outcome next time. We all have blind spots, try root them out. You clearly want to do well, so you just need more information!

I spent the day today undoing a mistake of mine. I phoned someone who didn't get paid to apologise for my oversight. They are now paid! I didn't manage my workload well and I dealt with it knowing more generally I do. I will take some time at the start of the next working day to try not drop a ball again.

No one likes criticism! It's not a nice feeling. Go easy on yourself.

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Unnamed poster
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Re: Cannot take criticism

#4 Post by Unnamed poster »

You need to try change the lens that you are looking at the criticism through, and meditation helps also

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poshspice
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Re: Cannot take criticism

#5 Post by poshspice »

I second this suggestion to try CBT. CBT works on the assumption that it's not events that causes problems but rather it is the meaning we give to those events that causes the negative feelings. These feelings then drive behaviours which in turn reinforce the thoughts. The thoughts are driven by our internal 'rule book' which acts like a lens through which we look at our world. The rule book is what's known as our conditions of worth, what needs to happen for us to feel ok in the world. If your COW is that everyone must always approve of you then any type of criticism will be experienced as a crisis. CBT can help you learn to break the cycle and to challenge your thoughts and replace them with more balanced ones (such as "I'd like everyone to approve of me, but I realise I'm not perfect and that's ok").
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handypandy
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Re: Cannot take criticism

#6 Post by handypandy »

I am the same... I have gotten better over the years though but still have relapses. I think you should not be so.hard on yourself and try not to.take it personally. Sometimes its the way you react to mistakes that is more important than the mistake itself. Will this.matter next week...month...year? People think about you a lot less than.you think!!! Pm if you want to chat ?

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