Dad unwell and under pressure from relatives

[Apple]

I also can’t understand why they can’t tell them themselves? Why do they need direct contact from you when everyone knows there are issues. Are they expected a invitation to visit your dad?

I would absolutely stick by what your dad has asked. It’s awful that they are causing extra stress at a time like this.

So sorry to hear about your dad.

[mumto3]

You need to shut out this stress. It is hard enough to navigate health difficulties without unnecessary drama. Your dad and your own family are the only people to worry about now. Let the ones causing hassle gossip and complain among themselves.
Self care is crucial at a time like this.

This exactly

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Totally agree. Sorry to hear your dad is unwell Moto. Wishing him a speedy recovery xx

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[yummydesserts]

It wouldn't even occur to me to contact cousins if my dad was ill and he has been off and on over the years.

Ignore them, I wouldn't even txt back, if they make a big deal just say you were too busy and have enough on your plate.

[Goosebumps]

Wishing your Dad a speedy recovery Moto. Ignore your cousins and focus on your own immediate family.

[Jenna]

Sorry to hear your Dad is unwell. Agree with everyone else - focus on your Dad and forget the rest. Your Dad is the priority and you need to mind yourself as well.

This. Put those people out of your mind-they are not worth the precious headspace they are taking up.
Hope your Dad gets well soon.

[felicity]

Anyone who makes such a traumatic time about them instead of your dad doesn’t deserve a second thought.
Read over where you said you have a small family. You your mum your dad and your boys.
Then exclude everyone else right now.

Exactly this and I would be telling them that too. Hope your dad recovers quickly.

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[tippexile]

I had something similar when my dad was moved to a hospice. He had fallen out with 2 of his brothers as they had refused to help him with some work he needed to be done when his cancer returned. Dad had helped them many times over the years and he was desparately hurt that the one time he asked for help in a very hard situation that they would not help him.So, Dad was in a hospice and told us he did not want to see them at all. They phoned a few times, followed my mum around the local supeemarket demanding to see him but we just said that dad is well able to make his own decisions and he does not want to see you. It was awful but we just did what dad wanted as like you, that was what mattered. They will stop eventually . Just concentrate on the people that matter and try to put them out of your mind. It's harc I know but don't let them intrude on your time with your dad.

[ColaCola]

Moto so sorry I hear that your dad is unwell... hoping he gets well as quickly as possible.

As everyone else says you are doing the right thing respecting your dad's wishes. You really have to wonder about people... how they can turn this into something about themselves & as for the eejits sticking their noses in.

Mind yourself

[Moto Moto]

Thanks all advice much appreciated. I have decided to not answer any calls or text from anyone who puts me under pressure and just speak to people I know are genuine etc . I will always abide his wishes and have decided however things go from here on in that his express wishes is not to see these people .

It’s a sad situation but he is right and it’s not fixable. Thank all for the help I will keep you updated


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[ginny]

I forgot to say last night and sorry - it is sad your dad and you are going through this. I hope he is getting all the help he needs and will come out the other side.

[Scorpio]

I am really sorry about your Dad MM, a really tough time for your and your family without the extra stress of being pressurised into going against your Dad’s wishes. Ignore them, you have enough to deal with. This is about your Dad now, no one else.

[mayfield05]

I would send them all a message saying: my father has been very clear in his wishes to me given the circumstances, which you are well aware of. Given your recent concern for his welfare I would expect that you will also be respectful of those wishes and leave him, my mother and I alone.
Someone above said they are making this all about them which speaks volumes. They are no use to you or him so I’d tell them to move on.
Very sorry your dad is unwell and I hope he recovers quickly.

[Rainbow :-)]

Sorry to hear your dad is sick, I hope he'll be on the mend soon. I would respect his wishes and say nothing to the cousins. If they get in touch tell them you are only respecting your dads wishes. Take care.

[Aruba]

So sorry to hear this and you do not need this stress. All that matters is your dad. If those are his wishes, screw the cousins. Be kind to yourself, you are all going through a very tough time.

[KikkiD]

Agree you are doing the right thing making sure your dads wishes are followed. Hope he makes a good recovery x