He hit me

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Maisy
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Re: He hit me

#46 Post by Maisy »

I don't think I could ever look at him the same way again and live in fear of it happening again. Does he deserve a second chance? Do you deserve his lack of respect in not even admitting what he has done, what kind of a man behaves like this??
You wouldn't be giving up on your marraige by leaving him, he has done that as soon as he raised his hand to you!
You deserve better!

Tinky
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Re: He hit me

#47 Post by Tinky »

Stress test wrote:I'm going to go against everything I would have said years ago and say I would consider a second chance ,if it was a one off out of character thing.i would like to say it would be a deal breaker and I would not consider myself a weak person but we would have an awful lot to lose.when things calm down and you want to talk to him and hear what he has to say you will probably have a gut feeling about what you want to do.
The problem I would have over the second chance Stress Test is the fact that he has nothing to say. Says he remembers nothing and therefore absolving himself of any shame, remorse or guilt. Like the op, I'm not sure I'd give up so easily either if my marriage was normally good and he made my children and I happy but the inability to discuss what happened would be doubly upsetting and I'd be living my life walking on egg shells. I hope your husband responds to your message OP that you sent and is at the least going off and having a long think about his actions and lack of them subsequently.

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Unnamed poster5
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Re: He hit me

#48 Post by Unnamed poster5 »

Sorry OP, only now seeing your update. It is not all as easy as walking away - my suggestion would be to ask him to leave for a week or so and then see how he really feels about what has happened. My experience is that if you let him away with it once he will do it again but then my experience with two men could be a totally experience to another womans with the same men if you get me. My concern is his lack of remorse. He really should be begging and pleading with you to not let this fester at this stage but as he is still proclaiming innocence then that is what the real issue is. Has he stopped to ask himself why you would accuse him of this out of the blue? Or is he trying to brush it under the carpet? How are you feeling in yourself now?

Unnamed poster 6
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Re: He hit me

#49 Post by Unnamed poster 6 »

It's easy to say walk away, but i have done it.
I realised that as a person i deserved not to live a life where my partner considered me as second best to him, blamed me for everything, was insulted continually, was treated as a housemaid, nursemaid and sex giver. Where I tiptoed round the house, where my heart sank when i heard him come home.
I can tell you 100% that nothing I have encountered in fighting for myself, in ending my marriage, in establishing my new life is as hard as dealing with my life day in, day out back then. NOTHING. And I have been through some real shit.
I underestimated the effect it had on me.
I would really strongly advise you to go for counselling. Go for yourself first. Then if you want you could do couples. But right now you need to look after you.
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NDM

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NDM
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Re: He hit me

#50 Post by NDM »

I second Pearl.

Life is too short. You deserve the best.

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Iamanisland
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Re: He hit me

#51 Post by Iamanisland »

Best of luck Whattodo.

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