My hubby's online behaviour

[Stragneone]

Hi, I spoke to hubby. He was extremely defensive . He said it is no big deal at all. They are friends, which I don't have an issue with. I told him, his constant liking and commenting looks a little creepy. He doesn't think so.

I told him I was particularly hurt over the " I don't mind one bit" comment and he maintains it was harmless and besides it was years ago.

I said she is 10 years younger than him and he just looks ridiculous.

He eventually agreed to pull back on the comments / likes but girls, I'm very uncomfortable with all of this. It is very clear obvious he has a huge crush on the girl.

My best friend was visiting yesterday and I showed her his likes and comments. She agreed that it was awful and I'm not overreacting.

I feel different about my husband today than I did last week.

[Starryeyedsurprise]

Any update OP?

[CLBG]

How are you feeling now OP? It's important to trust your gut in these situations. If you're uncomfortable, it's usually for a reason. I'd imagine that if he does have a crush on her, he's not likely to admit it, so his defensiveness is to be expected.

[Starryeyedsurprise]

Hi, I spoke to hubby. He was extremely defensive . He said it is no big deal at all. They are friends, which I don't have an issue with. I told him, his constant liking and commenting looks a little creepy. He doesn't think so.

I told him I was particularly hurt over the " I don't mind one bit" comment and he maintains it was harmless and besides it was years ago.

I said she is 10 years younger than him and he just looks ridiculous.

He eventually agreed to pull back on the comments / likes but girls, I'm very uncomfortable with all of this. It is very clear obvious he has a huge crush on the girl.

My best friend was visiting yesterday and I showed her his likes and comments. She agreed that it was awful and I'm not overreacting.

I feel different about my husband today than I did last week.

Just saw your response OP. He seems defensive, as expected, I suppose. Look, we all develop crushes on people even when we married. I know I have over the years but would never make it obvious . Not defending him btw, your DH obviously just got carried away.

How is she with him?? Does she like/comment on his stuff??? I do think the age gap is a bit odd though. My dh is good friends with a woman over 20 years. They the same age and old work colleagues. I would never feel threatened though.

[Tinky]

I think he's definitely going to pull back now he knows you can see them. I'm sorry that your DH didn't say 'Oh Strangeone, I didn't think about it like that, hope you didn't take it the wrong way and I'll keep an eye on what I'm liking in the future, sorry if it hurt your feelings'. Instead it sounds like your concerns weren't taken seriously which for me is equally if not a bigger issue. Maybe I am expecting too much and most men would go on the defensive for about this though.

[strangeone]

Thanks to you all.

I am still very upset by the whole thing. He was very defensive. Never said sorry and implied I was being a bit silly.

To answer another post, she does like and comment but not very often. Nothing flirty either.

I have tormented myself going back over her social pages and his posts and likes really, really upset me. This isn't a recent thing. It is a few years. She posted something recently. A plain old photo of the beach or something and he gushed "wow, you have such an eye, etc.etc....really gushing and OTT.

I may be over dramatic but I can't even look at him at the minute

[CLBG]

Sorry you're going through this Strangeone. It does sound upsetting.

[DazedandConfused]

It would upset me and I think you were right to say it to him. I think I'd let it go now, he was very defensive but he's probably a bit embarrassed now that he's thought it though. You'll only annoy yourself if you keep dwelling on it.

[Strangeone]

Thanks again all. I'll have you all driven mad . I can't speak to anyone else about this as I'm embarrassed for my husband.

I am extremely hurt. I guess I have no choice but to suck it up

[Unnamed poster 6]

That is upsetting.

[Angel]

You’re right to be upset. Don’t let him make you feel that you’re not. I wonder how he would feel
If the shoe was on the other foot.

[Strangeone]

Hi again.

I am still gutted over this. I do not want to keep checking Insta/FB, etc....I shouldn't have to.

Am so disappointed, pissed off, upset (to name but a few).

This girl is the polar opposite of me, tall, slim, beautiful young!

I did more trawling (feel so sneaky doing this but I can't help it). He has even commented on her children's photos. She posted a photo of her little boy (he's about 5 or 6) and he commented on that - along the lines of "cute t shirt" or something.

Am I missing something??? Is this normal social media behaviour??

[Starryeyedsurprise]

If he continues to behave this way OP, you could have a problem but if not, I guess you have no choice but to let it go. You are justified in feeling hurt though x

[Strangeone]

Thanks again. My head is wrecked with the whole thing. Maybe I'm being overly dramatic.

We are talking but I'm still fuming. I, probabaly stupidly, trawled through the girl's Instagram and FB. Felt like such a creep but I wanted to see exactly what he is commenting on/liking.

It all goes back as far as 2013. Every single photo, he has liked and commented. He has even commented on photos of her young son.....saying his tshirt is cool, etc...this IMO, is way inappropriate and odd.

She posted on her Instagram last summer...."thank you to (my hubby) for sending me the video" ...it's something they are mutually interested in.

I'm hurt by the whole thing. What does her hubby think ??

[Starryeyedsurprise]

Thanks again. My head is wrecked with the whole thing. Maybe I'm being overly dramatic.

We are talking but I'm still fuming. I, probabaly stupidly, trawled through the girl's Instagram and FB. Felt like such a creep but I wanted to see exactly what he is commenting on/liking.

It all goes back as far as 2013. Every single photo, he has liked and commented. He has even commented on photos of her young son.....saying his tshirt is cool, etc...this IMO, is way inappropriate and odd.

She posted on her Instagram last summer...."thank you to (my hubby) for sending me the video" ...it's something they are mutually interested in.

I'm hurt by the whole thing. What does her hubby think ??

Commenting on her kids photos is odd. I'm not suggesting creepy but almost too familiar.

Op, it sounds like you husband perhaps just got carried away. Hope you ok x