Is this odd? Male and female friendship

[Odd35]

Hi,

I'm new to the dating scene. 43, divorced. I met a really great guy about 6months ago. We have loads in common. He is divorced too. We don't live close to each other at the moment. He is movingly back to Dublin after xmas.

However, he is very good friends with a girl. She is 10 years younger than him (35) and married with two small kids. They have been friends since 2012, they met at a gig they both attended. They don't see each other very often. They meet up once in a while, her son and his son are friends. It doesn't help that she I still stunning and much younger than I am . My brother said to get out quick, he obviously fancies her . My brother no expert on relationships either btw

I'm uneasy about it. I genuinely believe there is nothing going on. What ye think??

[Bubbles]

God I don't know, I've plenty of male friends. I went to the U2 concert with one. They could just genuinely be friends. Have you had any reason to believe that they are more than friends?
I do think men and women can be friends platonically.

[HFC]

I think if there was anything between them, it would have come up between them meeting in 2012 and you meeting him 6 months ago.

[janeymac]

If they don't see eachother very often, l don't think it would bother me. If they talk or text a lot, I'd be more concerned I suppose.
I have male friends from before I met my husband who I'd meet from time to time for a drink....even a couple I had a short fling with but a long, long time ago in a galaxy far away....I probably wouldn't meet other newer male friends on my own really now aside from maybe coffee/ outings with my kids and maybe one or 2 dads.
I probably think it's slightly unusual that they only met a few yrs ago at a gig. But as she is married and has young children it would seem unlikely they were having a relationship.

[Unnamed poster]

Is your gut telling you anything or are you simply overthinking the situation in light of your brother's (somewhat unhelpful) comments?

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[Deise]

The fact that they don't meet very often, and their kids are friends makes it sound harmless to me. You will know by gut though with the tone and frequency of conversations where she is mentioned.

[Working Mum]

No, I don't think that's odd at all. I have many male friends, who are just that, friends.

[RDR]

Do they meet up as families with the kids doing something, or do you think they have a casual "friends with benefits" kind of relationship? Would you not just ask him straight out whether they were ever/are more than just friends?

Edited to add, I do think men/women can be "just friends". If she's married and they see each other rarely the balance of probability is that they're just friends. But if it is niggling at you, talk to him.

Was there unfaithfulness on either part as a cause of his divorce? That might colour how I might view it also.

[Unnamed poster5]

Shes married with kids - what is there to worry about? If her husband has no issues with it then neither should you. I have a close male friend and we are both divorced too but nothing romantic or sexual going on at all. It really is possible for men and women to just have platonic relationships.

[CLBG]

Have you been in their company when they've been together? Or when her husband was there? You could probably tell a lot from the way they behave around each other, how affectionate he is with you in her company etc. It sounds like there probably isn't anything going on, but I suppose my worry in your shoes would be that he / she might want there to be something. But you would know that from how he behaves around her. If he's moving back to Dublin and she is there also, maybe you could arrange a night out for the two of you with her & her husband.. you might be more comfortable if you see them in that setting. I know my views are a bit coloured at the moment, but I do believe in trusting your gut. So, having said all that, if you are worried because of how he talks to / about her, you might want to pay attention to that.

[Halfalump]

My best friend is male , relationships have come and gone on both sides but he’s my best friend through it all and I’d hate to feel I had to chose between him and a partner . There’s no romance , he’s like my brother , I drive him insane , I’m sure he’d love to shake some sense into me , the feelings mutual , we go out to concerts , we meet for coffee , he calls me a fool and hands me tissues when I need a cry , I tell him he has too many women and complications in his life ! . Its a friendship, entirely possible , and unless your gut is warning you otherwise I’d not let a throwaway remark from someone else get under your skin .

[Odd 35]

Thank u all. I'm convinced it is platonic. They share a hobby / interest which means they do connect and see each other. It's my insecurity . The girl in question is only 33, he is 45. She is stunning and posts pics on FB / Instagram constantly. He constantly likes and comments "stunning as always, etc."

And yes, my brother isn't helping

[Anon35]

Thanks . I think what bothers me most is the fact that EVERY single post on FB and photo on Instagram, he is all over it. Gushing comments, etc. She constantly posts pics on Instagram (all stunning, of course!!) and he never comments on anyone elses, just hers. I know I sound a bit pathetic