Son watched porn on playdate

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Viola
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Re: Son watched porn on playdate

#91 Post by Viola »

I will have to tell the school, I know, I am just in disbelief that I have to deal with this at all with my 1st class kid.
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StarryNight
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Re: Son watched porn on playdate

#92 Post by StarryNight »

It is a nightmare.
If anything positive can come from it I bet more than one of us on here will be reassessing a few things.
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Re: Son watched porn on playdate

#93 Post by CockChoker »

This happened DS1 when he was in primary school but he was probably in 4th or 5th class. I phoned the other boy's mother and she was shocked but thankful that I let her know so she could deal with it.

I knew the mum so it was easier to discuss it with her, she let me know it was an older brother and his friend that had been looking it up and the younger lad and DS1 saw some of it. It wasn't sex related words they looked up but Britney Spears. It hasn't affected DS1.

I listen to the radio most days and child safety relating to devices is a regular topic of discussion and I was shocked the first time I heard reports claiming the vast majority of boys and girls have watched porn before they finish primary school and most parents aren't even aware of it. When I was in primary school back in the 60's, early 70's and my classmates and myself would take turns to go to the bookshelf and look up the word sex in the Irish English dictionary but we hadn't a clue what sex was.
RDR
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Re: Son watched porn on playdate

#94 Post by RDR »

If there's one silver lining in all this it is that the mother has reacted now as she has. It throws a completely different light on the situation compared with her initial reaction. While I'd be mad as hell I also have some amount of sympathy for any parent when it comes to all this stuff. It is really hard as a parent to keep on top of all the crap that's out there and the whole range of things that need to be done to try and protect our kids (and even then those measures are not 100% effective).

Like others I think the school should know because this has already been discussed and may be again. They'll have a process or procedure. And if something is overheard or reported they'll immediately have context and be able to respond appropriately.
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Re: Son watched porn on playdate

#95 Post by Ah Lads »

The Wife wrote:
Gypsy wrote:
The Wife wrote:How can that mother not worry about WHY a 7 year old is "searching for sex scenes" on a device?? My 7 year old doesn't have a clue what sex is. What has he been exposed to? Has he been abused? Those are questions I'd be asking myself if I was her. It's unbelievable.

I wouldn't jump to that conclusion, LOTS of 7 year olds know about sex, not that most of them would be looking up porn, but the word sex would not be alien to them.
I must have an innocent 7 year old then. But a 7 year old looking up porn doesn't sit right with me. Maybe it is a leap. But if I were the Mom I would be asking questions.
The 7yr old didn’t ‘look up porn’, he typed the word sexy and clearly just has no filters on his device so all sorts came up.
If I type the same into my own phone it would be the same.

I’d an issue last year with DS who was 8 at the time. A friend was able to send him pictures through a game and sent a vile picture not for kids eyes. I rang the Mam straight away. We spoke to both lads and we brought it to teachers attention as they had told other friends about it.

My kids would know all their body parts and the word sex and what it means. Youngest is 8
Viola
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Re: Son watched porn on playdate

#96 Post by Viola »

I don’t think it was innocently just looking up the term sexy, ds said the other boy said let’s watch these videos about sexy then put one on. I can only go on what ds tells me, so to me it sounds like it wasn’t a case of stumbling upon a porn movie and out of curiosity they watched it.
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Re: Son watched porn on playdate

#97 Post by RDR »

It does sound from that like it had happened before. I know it must feel awful right now but it is so good that your child told you and that you've told the mum. It would be so much worse if it continued on without anyone knowing and with the boy possibly sharing this stuff with other kids. I'd really labour the point with your son that it is fantastic that he told you about it and how proud you are of him that he did and if ever anything feels wrong or makes him uncomfortable that the right thing to do is tell an adult - and that he won't be in trouble for it.
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Re: Son watched porn on playdate

#98 Post by Viola »

Just a quick update, spoke to ds teacher this morning, she was completely shocked and as she said never in a million years would she have expected to listen out for chat about porn in 1st/2nd class. She was furious for us, she asked who the boy was and she said she would have guessed it was that boy, I assume they were talking about having a play date together to the teacher. AS I said to the teacher I don’t want it to be seen that I’m in tell tailing or gossiping as the main thing happened outside of school but ds doesn’t want to come to school at the minute and is up sick worrying at night. This all kicked off after the play date but I was putting it down to a change in my work circumstances, blaming that for his stress, little did I know.
I’m still beyond furious, I haven’t calmed down even the slightest bit, I think I’m more furious now than when I heard first as I was so shocked.
The teacher went straight to the principal after speaking to me and she will get in touch with me later when she has time to process it all.

Again I just want to thank everyone that took their time to reply, and for the pm’s, it’s the worst thing I have had to deal with and the support here really helped.
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Re: Son watched porn on playdate

#99 Post by Unnamed poster 6 »

Thinking of you Viola, well done on speaking to teacher.
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Re: Son watched porn on playdate

#100 Post by HeyJude »

Well done on speaking to the teacher. It is affecting your DS in school so they needed to know.

I think some people are jumping to conclusions about abuse etc. however. Try typing in sexy or naughty or hot or something similar into google (all heard every day on the radio and tv at times kids listen/watch) and see what images and videos pop up. Some kids are more curious than others. It was obviously not the first time the child had found or seen this video but that still doesn't scream abuse. It's why parental controls are so important but also be aware they don't always fully block out stuff.
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Re: Son watched porn on playdate

#101 Post by Elsie »

hadn't replied on here as I really wasn't sure what to say of any benefit.... but I am so pleased to read that you have gone to the school about it.

I hope that he is doing ok and once he knows you are gonna make sure he is fine and safe and now he will be safe at school too.

Well done for highlighting it with us, we all need a reminder to keep a check on whats happening even if 'my child wouldn't do that!'
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Re: Son watched porn on playdate

#102 Post by apache »

Well done Viola, that must have been really difficult for you but you definitely did the right thing. I hope your DS is doing okay.
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Re: Son watched porn on playdate

#103 Post by Mummyofthreeangels »

Iamsoneedy wrote:
janeymac wrote:I think it's really hard to know exactly what happened. If I remember correctly the child looked up the word sexy. As pointed out, some kids of that age might have come across the word. I didn't get the impression that the child was looking for porn as some posts here seem to suggest.. He came across it on another occasion and probably was shocked, amazed etc....obviously not good that he had the freedom to do this but may well have been innocent curiously.
Then as kids do with new things, he showed it to his friend. They both knew it wasn't for kids and they were up to something wrong. The op's child tried to put it off and told his mother later etc while the other kid was probably going back again and again to look. He told other kids at school what they'd seen, again fairly normal playground stuff sharing stories....he probably said that the op's child liked it. As kids do. I think saying someone likes something in this context is very different ro saying they enjoyed it. My kids of similar age tease eachother constantly asserting that the other 'likes' something horrible or something they don't.
So while I think the teacher needs to know what's happening and the parent needs to step up massively, I think some posters could be making a big leap to child abuse based on this.
Well said. Voice of reason.
Oh agreed!! Totally blown out of context saying child was searching for porn!

Edited to add: I only read last two pages after I had posted & that paints it in a different light than original post, I would have informed school though especially if he’s upset over it.
Viola
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Re: Son watched porn on playdate

#104 Post by Viola »

I’m in a ball of stress still. Ds isn’t doing so good. Ds told me last week that the other boy pulled down his trousers and then tried to pull down ds trousers when he was at his house. He didn’t manage to get ds’s trousers down as ds fought him off and then left the room. Ds wants nothing to do with the other boy in the yard but all his other friends still play with the other boy. So ds has been spending breaktimes on his own. When ds did play with the group the other boy was telling the group how he pulled down a girls trousers and knickers and a boys. This is what triggered ds to tell me that it happened him.

I have ds down for play therapy, hoping to get an appointment ASAP and I am waiting to speak to his teacher, she has been off.
Ds does not want to go to school, full on hysterical every morning, and as a friend pointed out if someone tried to pull my trousers down I would not want to spend 6 hours stuck in a room with them every day, so poor ds is feeling the exact same way.

My head is spinning today so just needed to write it down.
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Re: Son watched porn on playdate

#105 Post by StarryNight »

If the teacher isn't available go to the principal. You can't let this go on, your poor little boy. I'd make an appointment today with the principal.
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