DS and anxiety

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Expand view Topic review: DS and anxiety

Re: DS and anxiety

by Wispa » Fri Aug 25, 2023 3:28 pm

Most probably an apprenticeship which as far as I know he’ll need a JC for. Talking today then about TY and leaving then but wouldn’t go in yesterday so not sure what that’s about.

Re: DS and anxiety

by Starryeyedsurprise » Fri Aug 25, 2023 10:00 am

Wispa, has he decided he would like to leave after JC and do an apprenticeship? My DD sat, I would say 2 subjects for the JC exam. She was very unwell with anxiety/depression. She is 19 now and thriving. She did her LC. She did have fantastic help from CAMHS. What I am saying, JC means nothing. If he doesn't do it, no big deal if he is going to continue with LC. Not sure about an apprenticeship and JC requirements. How is he now? xx

Re: DS and anxiety

by Wispa » Wed Aug 23, 2023 9:37 pm

Honeybell that’s exactly it, he’s introverted and likes to set his own pace which I understand (his dad is a total extrovert and doesn’t :/ ).
Ali the school are aware and were great last year, just realised he has the same year head this year so won’t have to go over everything. Tbh at this stage I’d prefer him to do the jc and then call it a day with school, he’s probably going to do an apprenticeship so just need to get to that stage.
TCR sorry you are going through similar, know it’s no help but consoling in a way that it’s not just us x

Re: DS and anxiety

by TCR » Wed Aug 23, 2023 9:21 pm

I’m looking at not sending dd3 back full time. Trying to meet her principal.
At the minute I’m not sure if she will even be able to go to one class. I’ve told her she doesn’t have to go full time but not sure what to do for the best.
You have my sympathy. This is totally new territory for me.


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Re: DS and anxiety

by ali » Wed Aug 23, 2023 9:19 pm

Wispa does the school know how he is feeling?, just he is going into jc and some of the teachers, (in ds school anyway) they were over the top with the jc, started in sept saying how much study/exams etc, totally over the top. Do you think he would be able to sit the jc or is it going to be too much for him. The jc really means nothing overall, he can continue into the higher classes not having sat it so it might be better to make a decision on it sooner as it might help him go in if he knew that exam was off the table.

Re: DS and anxiety

by honeybell » Wed Aug 23, 2023 9:16 pm

Poor guy. It's easier in the summer for someone who's a bit introverted to manage how much time they have to spend with others. It can be overwhelming in school. Has he seen the GP? Is there a space in school he can go to if overwhelmed? I'd maybe talk to the year head or someone helpful in there.

In my DDs case it was important she knew we were trying to help and not just going to force her to go in without helping her to find a way to tolerate it.

Re: DS and anxiety

by Wispa » Wed Aug 23, 2023 9:13 pm

honeybell wrote: ↑Wed Aug 23, 2023 9:10 pm Wispa, do you think he has serious anxiety about school? It may not be that he's unwilling to go but that he's unable to go due to anxiety.

In my DDs case she was so anxious she couldn't really go anywhere. She has since received some treatment and is a much more confident person and by the end of last year she was able to go to school again.

Why does he say he doesn't want to go? Is he happy in life otherwise? It's not always due to anxiety but it's worth investigating.
He was fine all summer, he’s quiet in himself personality wise but was content and got out and about a little. Games a lot with his friends and definitely not quiet then. His only cause of anxiety seems to be school……

Re: DS and anxiety

by Wispa » Wed Aug 23, 2023 9:11 pm

Says it’s everything basically. Hates the whole school environment. Says ‘everyone’ is picking on him but not his friends.

Re: DS and anxiety

by honeybell » Wed Aug 23, 2023 9:10 pm

Wispa, do you think he has serious anxiety about school? It may not be that he's unwilling to go but that he's unable to go due to anxiety.

In my DDs case she was so anxious she couldn't really go anywhere. She has since received some treatment and is a much more confident person and by the end of last year she was able to go to school again.

Why does he say he doesn't want to go? Is he happy in life otherwise? It's not always due to anxiety but it's worth investigating.

ETA if he can explain why he doesn't want to go in I'd try to help him find a solution before forcing him to go in. Missing a few days isn't the end of the world and will show him you want to help. Maybe the school can help in some way.

Re: DS and anxiety

by CocoRose » Wed Aug 23, 2023 9:05 pm

What's the issue Wispa, does he pinpoint anything specific or is it everything? Would he learn online if it came to it?

Re: DS and anxiety

by Wispa » Wed Aug 23, 2023 8:59 pm

Looking for any help/support/words of wisdom please. Ds had a rocky second year and ended up off last month or so with a combination of illness and unwillingness. Due back tomorrow and had complete meltdown tonight. Don’t know what to do. I can force him in but have a feeling he’ll flat out refuse in the morning. He’s very upset, he just hates the whole school environment. What if any alternative is there? Am an emotional wreck with worry and stress myself at this stage and just dont know what to do.

Re: DS and anxiety

by honeybell » Sun Mar 19, 2023 12:05 am

I get you Worriedmum. I find myself wondering how long this will continue with my teenager. I know adults who have found great help from phychiatrists etc so I can only hope there is help out there. Its all well and good to say this year can be a write-off to concentrate on mental health but what if it continues into next year? It's a big strain on the parents and siblings too.

Re: DS and anxiety

by WorriedMom » Sat Mar 18, 2023 12:13 pm

A few months on and no improvement for us. Am meeting the school on Monday as I want to find out what happens if he doesn't sit the JC.

CAMHS have been ok but have offered no solutions or help really.

Just taking everything day by day and really trying to get him in for even 2 classes a day and then spend break with friends. He really needs the social element of it as he is actually so much happier when he goes in - comes out in much better form. I have said that to him.

I can't even get him up most mornings so this is the biggest issue, sleep pattern then is completely messed up. It's very difficult.

Re: DS and anxiety

by honeybell » Fri Mar 17, 2023 8:37 pm

Just seeing this now, we are in a similar situation with my 15 yo. Also had initial meeting with cahms but nothing else yet, hopefully we'll see a psychiatrist soon. Our GP wouldn't perscribe anything except melatonin for sleep. The school doesn't offer any sort of safe space for breaks. It's really hard to know how to help them go in when school seems so intimidating. It's good to be reminded that their mental health is more important than showing up for school. My DD goes in most days, usually late or asks to leave early. She hates people commenting on her being late but otherwise I'm just happy she can go at all and don't push her.

Re: DS and anxiety

by NancyDrew » Fri Mar 17, 2023 7:04 pm

No1 babe wrote:
CLBG wrote: ↑Thu Jan 05, 2023 12:36 pm Ps I remember the Deputy Principal saying to me one time that helping dd's anxiety was her primary need at the time, rather than study/school etc. It took a lot of pressure off me mentally. Try to remember the same - your ds' primary need is to get mentally well again, the rest will work itself out. Try not to be too hard on yourself or him in terms of school.
Brilliant advice , sometimes when in the situation we tend to want to fix everything but this is good sound advice .
That's great advice.
I'm teaching over 20 years and we've more school refusers than ever before. Our aim is to get them in for one class to start with, and build on that.

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