by janeymac » Tue Jul 12, 2022 10:35 pm
Years ago, a fairly good friend of mine, an old flatmate, had her first baby and sent out a message to everyone that she wasn't going to be contactable for awhile. So I left it a while and then at some point I realised I had left the while too long and I should have been in contact. I wanted to call and explain and hear about her baby etc but because I was so embarrassed, I kept putting it off and days became weeks and weeks became months. . And I just couldn't face it.
A lovely mutual friend told me very kindly that my friend didn't know what had happened with me. I told her and I think she told my friend and then I copped myself on and just called her.
But there was no actual reason, just circumstances.
To the op,I wouldn't waste my energy trying to find a reason as there may not really be one. There are loads of reasons people stop contact that have nothing to do with anything you've done.
Your friend may have stuff going on in her family and simply doesn't want to talk to anyone.
And people do the strangest things sometimes and unless you were inside their head you couldn't understand. So I wouldn't assume you'd done anything
It's upsetting and you want to know the why but the why could be something silly or trivial or embarrassing that your friend would never say.
I haven't personally experienced ghosting but a couple of friends were very hurt by this. One pursued for an explanation and got a daft one. Something that nobody rational would end a friendship for- so getting a reason was meaningless. It clearly wasn't the real reason and left her none the wiser.
I used to say to my friend that her friend was foolish to lose such a good friend and I think so with your friend.
It's sad but unfortunately people can be strange.
Years ago, a fairly good friend of mine, an old flatmate, had her first baby and sent out a message to everyone that she wasn't going to be contactable for awhile. So I left it a while and then at some point I realised I had left the while too long and I should have been in contact. I wanted to call and explain and hear about her baby etc but because I was so embarrassed, I kept putting it off and days became weeks and weeks became months. . And I just couldn't face it.
A lovely mutual friend told me very kindly that my friend didn't know what had happened with me. I told her and I think she told my friend and then I copped myself on and just called her.
But there was no actual reason, just circumstances.
To the op,I wouldn't waste my energy trying to find a reason as there may not really be one. There are loads of reasons people stop contact that have nothing to do with anything you've done.
Your friend may have stuff going on in her family and simply doesn't want to talk to anyone.
And people do the strangest things sometimes and unless you were inside their head you couldn't understand. So I wouldn't assume you'd done anything
It's upsetting and you want to know the why but the why could be something silly or trivial or embarrassing that your friend would never say.
I haven't personally experienced ghosting but a couple of friends were very hurt by this. One pursued for an explanation and got a daft one. Something that nobody rational would end a friendship for- so getting a reason was meaningless. It clearly wasn't the real reason and left her none the wiser.
I used to say to my friend that her friend was foolish to lose such a good friend and I think so with your friend.
It's sad but unfortunately people can be strange.