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How are you doing at the moment Lesley. Any update from the bank. How is your health. Hope you are all doing ok x

Tried to stay off phone and be more present at home today to try and work on things. We are going to look into counselling and he’s going to see his mental health doctor next week to make sure this doesn’t trigger a bipolar episode.

My health has stayed steady this week thankfully (I haven’t a clue how)

Our DD is ok I can see she is very quiet. Have asked about her maybe going to counselling but she says she fine. Just talking to her but she’s a born worrier. Hard to get her to talk about anything is difficult

Again thank you everyone xx


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I think it’s very important that you get some counselling and support, this is a huge deal and you have been through a lot. All the very best to you.

Really sorry to hear that the money can’t be refunded. Seems so unfair.

Glad you have had some good conversation with your DH. It can’t have been easy. Probably best you waited a few days, till you were calmer. Hope you have worked out your immediate financial commitments.

How are you feeling? How’s your health? How is your DD coping? Is she aware of what’s happening?

Sorry I wasn’t on today. Spent so much of the day calling differ places and people look information as to where we could get help.

Unfortunately the money is not retrievable it’s gone and there isn’t anything we can do. The banks are not willing to even try anything.

But DH came home for a while this evening and we talked over everything. We are not going to let this break us. It’s gonna be a long road ahead to rebuild my trust in him. And I got some home truths myself that weren’t easy to hear. But what we have is worth fighting for.

Wedding is cancelled for the time being. Maybe for our 20th anniversary [emoji38][emoji38]if we make it.

From My deepest heart I thank each and everyone who gave support, advice or just a message of encouragement and kindness it meant so much to me. You’re all wonderful human beings xx [emoji182]


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How are you doing today?

Hope you feel better after going to the GP, even just from talking things through with him/her.

His parent won’t give him any money for this they know about it. Not sure how it it’ll all play out to be honest his mother hates the ground I walk on. Blames me for his mental health issues.

Her reaction was Awh sure it’s just money forget about it now. I can only imagine what she was saying about me last night when I told him to go to hers. But if i didn’t ask him to leave i would have said some things to him and made things worse.

I haven’t slept in the last 2 nights so I hope the doctor can give me something today. My head hurts with so much running around in it.


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I've been thinking of you, I hope you managed some sleep. I'm not sure if you have confided in anyone IRL.
However if your OH has returned to his parents and he is still speaking with these scammers I would be concerned his parents may be in a vulnerable position.
If he tells his parents that you are controlling, he has no money... might they give him access to theirs?
I know your immediate concern is your health, your DD and trying to get your hard saved money back but it might be No harm letting his parents or indeed anyone else he might borrow from aware of whats been going on. You have done nothing wrong.
You are not married. If he accumulates debt in his name he is responsible for it however if you have a joint mortgage (which I presume you do) any additional debts
he accumulates could impact this longer term.

I’m glad you’ve got onto consumer protection and also that you have a friend now in your corner helping you to fight for the money.
Of course you feel angry towards your DH and maybe in time that will lessen and you will be able to move on.
For the moment though please don’t give up on yourself or your daughter. You’re at a very low point in so many ways but it will get better.

rosepetal wrote: ↑Wed Apr 27, 2022 4:54 pm My dh works in a bank (not ptsb) and his advice is to get onto the bank again asap and emphasise your dh is a vulnerable customer and that you want to put in for a recall immediately. Also check the calls are recorded in case you need proof later on.

Sorry it only occurred to me afterwards that I might not have been totally clear, its a recall of the funds you need to request (not a recall as in phone call) . Just in case it was confusing.

faganlesley wrote: ↑Wed Apr 27, 2022 4:59 pm I’m going to write a letter to the bank and see how we get on. My DH doctor is providing a letter to say he’s not able to make decisions like this without knowing the implications


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You’re right to put everything in writing to the bank. Keep copies.

Have you someone to help you with any of this? Dealing with big institutions and fighting your corner is exhausting at the best of times not to mention when you have other things on your plate.

Mind yourself.

My heart goes out to you lesley..
Your emotions towards him are perfectly reasonable. I think you need to mind your own health (both physical and emotional) right now so if that means taking any practical help from friends and family then take it.
It's a lot of money, you've every right to be angry about this. But you might need to try to let others help you with this fight with the banks for your own sake.
You're loved, you are no doubt the centre of your dd's world, you are a child in your parent's eyes and no doubt the centre of their world too. Please don't lose sight of your relevance and immense importance in this world. This stressful time will resolve eventually, normal life will resume again, and you will be happy again after all this has subsided.

Oh no how awful, keep fighting the bank on this, take all the help you can get. I'm so sorry you are going through this, please confide in someone, stay with your parents if you feel so low. Praying it works out for you x

I’ve just explained our DD that he’s gone for the moment. We’ve had our troubles on the past like most couples but have never. Spent the night part arguing.

I feel so lost. I love him but hate him at the same time.


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