DS worried about his girlfriend

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Expand view Topic review: DS worried about his girlfriend

Re: DS worried about his girlfriend

by Rita » Thu Jul 08, 2021 12:33 pm

OP just thinking would you ring Pieta for a chat as they might advise could she see them?
Other option is jigsaw
https://jigsaw.ie/mental-health-services-under-18s/

Re: DS worried about his girlfriend

by Rita » Thu Jul 08, 2021 12:24 pm

Not sure 3dollys this is what I was told.
Maybe it depends which ones.

My gp has prescribed valium though but for muscle spasms

Re: DS worried about his girlfriend

by Unnamed poster 7 » Thu Jul 08, 2021 12:19 pm

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Re: DS worried about his girlfriend

by Rita » Thu Jul 08, 2021 12:18 pm

Sometimes they will prescribe in an emergency or if a teen is under say camhs and waiting but they generally are not supposed too. They shouldn't without a parent knowing either.
If they prescribe and something happens they could be in trouble .

Its very tough on your son OP but good he has confided in you. Are you sure her parents aren't interested..do you know much about her family other than what your son says. I remember a girl who did similar but it actually wasn't fully true and the school she was in knew this as it happened more than once. But they had services involved for the teen...so I know schools are on holidays but maybe you could still try them as I know often principals don't take a full summer off..only a few weeks.

Re: DS worried about his girlfriend

by Unnamed poster 7 » Thu Jul 08, 2021 11:42 am

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Re: DS worried about his girlfriend

by Clara » Thu Jul 08, 2021 11:39 am

I am a nurse who can prescribe, SSRI medication in under 18's should be supervised by a psychiatrist, there are clear guidelines on this.

Re: DS worried about his girlfriend

by Unnamed poster 7 » Thu Jul 08, 2021 11:29 am

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Re: DS worried about his girlfriend

by Clara » Thu Jul 08, 2021 11:25 am

newshoes wrote: Thu Jul 08, 2021 10:36 am It sounds very tough on the young girl but it does sound like there is very little you can do for her aside from facilitating gp visits.

If it's a child welfare/abuse/ neglect issue that's a bit different but it sounds more like its a poor relationship with her parents?

I would very strongly suggest that you help your son develop some boundaries for himself. He is too young for her to lean on him to any major extent. This is probably his first serious relationship and is going to influence all other relationships going forward. Encourage his relationship with his friends and and support any activities/ sports he does.

I know this might sound awful but I wouldn't be supportive of her being in your house too much, encourage them to go out and be active. In terms of you paying but him pretending it is him, I'd also say tell her the truth, it's modelling a healthy parental relationship where he had confided in you and also establishing that boundary in their relationship.

I unfortunately have experience where one young person is exerting undue influence on their gf/bf and it usually ends up worse for the gf/bf. I'm not saying that it what is happening here, only some of what you describe could be the first step towards it.

Sent from my SM-G970F using Tapatalk
I agree with this excellent advice. You are only hearing her side of things second hand.
Also a GP should never just prescribe a 16yr old medication for depression/anxiety without parental/guardian consent.

Re: DS worried about his girlfriend

by StarryNight » Thu Jul 08, 2021 11:06 am

newshoes wrote: Thu Jul 08, 2021 10:36 am It sounds very tough on the young girl but it does sound like there is very little you can do for her aside from facilitating gp visits.

If it's a child welfare/abuse/ neglect issue that's a bit different but it sounds more like its a poor relationship with her parents?

I would very strongly suggest that you help your son develop some boundaries for himself. He is too young for her to lean on him to any major extent. This is probably his first serious relationship and is going to influence all other relationships going forward. Encourage his relationship with his friends and and support any activities/ sports he does.

I know this might sound awful but I wouldn't be supportive of her being in your house too much, encourage them to go out and be active. In terms of you paying but him pretending it is him, I'd also say tell her the truth, it's modelling a healthy parental relationship where he had confided in you and also establishing that boundary in their relationship.

I unfortunately have experience where one young person is exerting undue influence on their gf/bf and it usually ends up worse for the gf/bf. I'm not saying that it what is happening here, only some of what you describe could be the first step towards it.

Sent from my SM-G970F using Tapatalk
I agree with this.
The relationship sounds far too intense for 16 year olds.

Re: DS worried about his girlfriend

by Lady Madonna » Thu Jul 08, 2021 10:39 am

Is there a foróige group she might be interested in? My son attended our local foróige group and it seemed to be somewhere they could just gather and chat and go on trips in the summer but a friend who worked for them said a lot more goes on behind the scenes. My friend said her daughter got very good 1 to 1 support from a particular leader there.

Re: DS worried about his girlfriend

by newshoes » Thu Jul 08, 2021 10:36 am

It sounds very tough on the young girl but it does sound like there is very little you can do for her aside from facilitating gp visits.

If it's a child welfare/abuse/ neglect issue that's a bit different but it sounds more like its a poor relationship with her parents?

I would very strongly suggest that you help your son develop some boundaries for himself. He is too young for her to lean on him to any major extent. This is probably his first serious relationship and is going to influence all other relationships going forward. Encourage his relationship with his friends and and support any activities/ sports he does.

I know this might sound awful but I wouldn't be supportive of her being in your house too much, encourage them to go out and be active. In terms of you paying but him pretending it is him, I'd also say tell her the truth, it's modelling a healthy parental relationship where he had confided in you and also establishing that boundary in their relationship.

I unfortunately have experience where one young person is exerting undue influence on their gf/bf and it usually ends up worse for the gf/bf. I'm not saying that it what is happening here, only some of what you describe could be the first step towards it.

Sent from my SM-G970F using Tapatalk

Re: DS worried about his girlfriend

by Posher » Thu Jul 08, 2021 10:17 am

I know it's school holidays but another avenue she could explore when she's back after the summer break is the school counsellor. My DD attends one and finds her very good.

Re: DS worried about his girlfriend

by Shining » Thu Jul 08, 2021 9:49 am

I have come across both scenarios. And that's only within my own family!
It must be heavy on your ds. I would even encourage him to ring Jigsaw for support for himself.
At 16 she would be old enough to go to gp by herself. Plus is there a family resource centre near you? They often have services to support a young person (I know our local youth project does counselling in our centre). I would nearly ring the resource centre for the family support worker and have a chat. Our Tusla has a family support unit that does drop ins in our centre too.

Re: DS worried about his girlfriend

by DiscoGirl » Thu Jul 08, 2021 9:31 am

Similar to what’s been said already, and fair play fit being concerned,also keep the conversation line open with your ds, this can’t be easy on him

Re: DS worried about his girlfriend

by Unnamed poster 7 » Thu Jul 08, 2021 9:26 am

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