Cause of death?

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Expand view Topic review: Cause of death?

Re: Cause of death?

by mmum » Wed Sep 19, 2018 1:33 pm

My birthcert had father unknown for yrs because they were unmarried & despite my father been very much known in 1979 to a 17 year old unmarried child, he was deemed unknown. My mother had to fight to have my surname as his surname recorded and not her own.

Re: Cause of death?

by Apple » Wed Sep 19, 2018 1:32 pm

I think full time mum is fine tbh, you can’t keep everyone happy so if someone wants to be offended so be it.

Re: Cause of death?

by Milis » Wed Sep 19, 2018 1:30 pm

I don’t think anyone uses housewife any more, it implies that you are looking after the house for your husband.

I don’t think anyone at home looking after kids could be described as unemployed.

I don’t have an answer that would be acceptable to everyone though. I’d say at home with the kids too.

Re: Cause of death?

by Bippityboppityboo » Wed Sep 19, 2018 1:28 pm

Unemployed?

Re: Cause of death?

by Iamsoneedy » Wed Sep 19, 2018 1:23 pm

ainm2 wrote:
RDR wrote:I have an embarrassing piece of information on a cert ... I cringe every time I think of it ... when my last child was born and they asked for my occupation I couldn't think of the right term (I think I may have been struggling with getting the 4 letters in the acronym in the right order!) and said I was a "full-time mum" and that is now recorded for posterity. Cringe!

I'm hoping putting it down here has a cathartic effect and I can move on from the fear and shame that someone will look up the cert and judge me ... ;)
Why is that embarrassing?! (And what is the proper term, SAHM?!)
My mother, who didn't work, used to put down 'housewife'. I presume that's what people still use.

Re: Cause of death?

by RDR » Wed Sep 19, 2018 1:17 pm

ainm2 wrote:
RDR wrote:I have an embarrassing piece of information on a cert ... I cringe every time I think of it ... when my last child was born and they asked for my occupation I couldn't think of the right term (I think I may have been struggling with getting the 4 letters in the acronym in the right order!) and said I was a "full-time mum" and that is now recorded for posterity. Cringe!

I'm hoping putting it down here has a cathartic effect and I can move on from the fear and shame that someone will look up the cert and judge me ... ;)
Why is that embarrassing?! (And what is the proper term, SAHM?!)
Yes SAHM would be the "correct" term. The implication of full-time mum is that mums working are somehow only part-time parents. A source of on-line carnage in the past (not provoked by me!) Like D&C says SAHM isn't great as it sounds like you're housebound. Homemaker is even worse (I think). I remember I couldn't put down "I'm at home with the kids" which is what I'd normally say. Even that isn't accurate any more as I'm often at home without any kids.

Re: Cause of death?

by Lady Madonna » Wed Sep 19, 2018 11:47 am

my first borns birth cert has "student" as my occupation and a big line drawn through the boxes for father's name and occupation. I'm sort of glad now with pps cards more widespread that she probably won't need it for much.

I lost a relative to suicide and there was talk before the inquest that it might be recorded as death by misadventure because he had been drinking when he did it. I didn't go to the inquest so I don't know what it was recorded as in the end, I don't care either it won't bring him back.

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Re: Cause of death?

by mmum » Wed Sep 19, 2018 11:34 am

It was my mother's biggest worry that the word suicide would be on my brother's death cert. But it was written as asphyxiation.
StarryNight wrote:A relative in our family is recorded as having died by accidental drowning but it was suicide. Even today the cause of the death isn't listed as suicide very often, its something else.

Re: Cause of death?

by ainm2 » Wed Sep 19, 2018 11:19 am

Iamsoneedy wrote:
ainm2 wrote:
RDR wrote:I have an embarrassing piece of information on a cert ... I cringe every time I think of it ... when my last child was born and they asked for my occupation I couldn't think of the right term (I think I may have been struggling with getting the 4 letters in the acronym in the right order!) and said I was a "full-time mum" and that is now recorded for posterity. Cringe!

I'm hoping putting it down here has a cathartic effect and I can move on from the fear and shame that someone will look up the cert and judge me ... ;)
Why is that embarrassing?! (And what is the proper term, SAHM?!)
Because it’s utterly meaningless. Women who work and have kids aren’t ‘part-time’ mothers.
No, I agree they are not, but if you don't have a job outside the home, it at least describes how you are "occupied" on a daily basis.

Re: Cause of death?

by Iamsoneedy » Wed Sep 19, 2018 10:58 am

ainm2 wrote:
RDR wrote:I have an embarrassing piece of information on a cert ... I cringe every time I think of it ... when my last child was born and they asked for my occupation I couldn't think of the right term (I think I may have been struggling with getting the 4 letters in the acronym in the right order!) and said I was a "full-time mum" and that is now recorded for posterity. Cringe!

I'm hoping putting it down here has a cathartic effect and I can move on from the fear and shame that someone will look up the cert and judge me ... ;)
Why is that embarrassing?! (And what is the proper term, SAHM?!)
Because it’s utterly meaningless. Women who work and have kids aren’t ‘part-time’ mothers.

Re: Cause of death?

by StarryNight » Wed Sep 19, 2018 10:11 am

A relative in our family is recorded as having died by accidental drowning but it was suicide. Even today the cause of the death isn't listed as suicide very often, its something else.

Re: Cause of death?

by Tinky » Wed Sep 19, 2018 10:03 am

My great granny died by suicide and on her death cert it is recorded as melancholy. That would have been 1954.

Re: Cause of death?

by janeymac » Wed Sep 19, 2018 9:59 am

Gypsy wrote:I know of two people who died by suicide and their families did not want it known.
I think this would have been very common in the past and even still. Suicide was actually a criminal offence at one time. I think it was only decriminalized in relatively recent times!

Taking your own life was also regarded as a mortal sin in the Catholic church so lots of families would not have wanted that known.

Still would be an issue in some families I imagine.
I am also now remembering a recent conversation with someone about a family member who died of a drug overdose and family circulated a different story.

Re: Cause of death?

by DazedandConfused » Wed Sep 19, 2018 9:51 am

Full-time mum sounds smug, stay at home isn't great either,like you never go out!
My marriage certificate says travel agent, I have never been one, I was working as an internal auditor in one at the time

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Re: Cause of death?

by ainm2 » Wed Sep 19, 2018 9:36 am

RDR wrote:I have an embarrassing piece of information on a cert ... I cringe every time I think of it ... when my last child was born and they asked for my occupation I couldn't think of the right term (I think I may have been struggling with getting the 4 letters in the acronym in the right order!) and said I was a "full-time mum" and that is now recorded for posterity. Cringe!

I'm hoping putting it down here has a cathartic effect and I can move on from the fear and shame that someone will look up the cert and judge me ... ;)
Why is that embarrassing?! (And what is the proper term, SAHM?!)

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