by RDR » Thu Nov 23, 2017 3:10 pm
tbh I've been amazed over the years at some of the reported histrionics from kids - boys - over soccer in particular (both competitive and school yard soccer). And some older than your child. So your child is far from unique. But it does sound like it has got completely out of hand.
Assuming you've done all the usual stuff about talking to him about how he feels, why it matters so much to him, what difference his reaction is making (ie none to the fact of losing and presumably not making him feel any better), teasing out what other ways he could react and how that might feel, how he'd feel about not playing and doing something else etc etc etc ... if all that has been done then it may be worth getting a child psychologist or play therapist involved. BUT from what you've said you've only just learned about the extent of the problem so it may be worth teasing it out with him now that you have that knowledge. Also try and highlight situations where you lose, where other people lose, talk about how you feel but show the contrast between that and letting the emotion overtake you. Look at how competitive you and his dad are - what messages is he picking up. Find examples of people enjoying sport or games for the fun of it - regardless of outcome. Play boardgames, cards, bowling, ball games etc where you have fun as a family - again regardless of outcome.
But be assured he is far from unusual - I've heard (and seen) tears in the yard - so school yard soccer - up into 5th class.
tbh I've been amazed over the years at some of the reported histrionics from kids - boys - over soccer in particular (both competitive and school yard soccer). And some older than your child. So your child is far from unique. But it does sound like it has got completely out of hand.
Assuming you've done all the usual stuff about talking to him about how he feels, why it matters so much to him, what difference his reaction is making (ie none to the fact of losing and presumably not making him feel any better), teasing out what other ways he could react and how that might feel, how he'd feel about not playing and doing something else etc etc etc ... if all that has been done then it may be worth getting a child psychologist or play therapist involved. BUT from what you've said you've only just learned about the extent of the problem so it may be worth teasing it out with him now that you have that knowledge. Also try and highlight situations where you lose, where other people lose, talk about how you feel but show the contrast between that and letting the emotion overtake you. Look at how competitive you and his dad are - what messages is he picking up. Find examples of people enjoying sport or games for the fun of it - regardless of outcome. Play boardgames, cards, bowling, ball games etc where you have fun as a family - again regardless of outcome.
But be assured he is far from unusual - I've heard (and seen) tears in the yard - so school yard soccer - up into 5th class.