by SadSibling » Wed Apr 17, 2024 4:59 pm
The recent wedding, with me being the only member of the family not included, was the last straw in some ways.
I do not want to boast, but my parents are well off and helped us all financially when we bought our homes. They have reminded us several times there should be a substantial inheritance when they die and the estate is to be split 3 ways, this is all in their wills. It seems that when it came to my wedding, my parents for whatever reason made an overt statement that there would be no financial contribution. Similar happened when one sibling wanted to do a master's degree. I was firmly told no, I was not getting money for a master's because they weren't paying for me to be an 'eternal student'. But somehow the sibling who asked, got what they wanted.
I know in my heart of hearts my mother has more in common with one sibling than me, and they have always been closer. But I thought as we got older things would shake out. I feel like I am grieving the family I thought I had and wanted, compared to what I have. I cannot raise any of this with them, I've always been labelled as 'overly emotional' so this would be another reason for them to have a good laugh at me. They're not all bad and we do have family occasions that I enjoy, but I find myself less and less inclined to be the host for these things or to engage with them beyond surface level banal chat, the kind you'd have with a distant relative.
Thanks for the replies, I feel very validated.
The recent wedding, with me being the only member of the family not included, was the last straw in some ways.
I do not want to boast, but my parents are well off and helped us all financially when we bought our homes. They have reminded us several times there should be a substantial inheritance when they die and the estate is to be split 3 ways, this is all in their wills. It seems that when it came to my wedding, my parents for whatever reason made an overt statement that there would be no financial contribution. Similar happened when one sibling wanted to do a master's degree. I was firmly told no, I was not getting money for a master's because they weren't paying for me to be an 'eternal student'. But somehow the sibling who asked, got what they wanted.
I know in my heart of hearts my mother has more in common with one sibling than me, and they have always been closer. But I thought as we got older things would shake out. I feel like I am grieving the family I thought I had and wanted, compared to what I have. I cannot raise any of this with them, I've always been labelled as 'overly emotional' so this would be another reason for them to have a good laugh at me. They're not all bad and we do have family occasions that I enjoy, but I find myself less and less inclined to be the host for these things or to engage with them beyond surface level banal chat, the kind you'd have with a distant relative.
Thanks for the replies, I feel very validated.