heymammy.com

How are things OP? I've been thinking of you.

I agree with others - a great step that he's opened up and hopefully the start of getting the help he needs But remember this - he's 24 - so just be conscious of the fact that you can only help him if he asks for it, wants it and co-operates. It's hard to accept but anything beyond that is completely out of your control and I think any notion to the contrary can be harmful - to you mainly. What you can do is help yourself. You could explore a support group for relatives of addicts - it certainly sounds like he's addicted. I think it's what I'd do not just because it would be a safe place to share worries etc but because I'm guessing it's the best place to learn what NOT to do because people are likely to share the mistakes they've made in these situations. Living with addicts can be a tricky balancing act. You may get ideas on how to encourage him into new activities but my guess is that very few mothers have any kind of influence in that arena over adult sons. Wish you all the best and we are all here for you and rooting for you and your DS.

Glad that he is talking to you and agreeing to attend the GP hopefully that will be the start of changes in his weed habit

I think it's really good he's booked an appointment with the GP, it sounds like he knows he needs help.

Do you think he has ASD?
I've a house full of ASD here and it's not an easy journey but better to get assessed and know about it.

I know it doesn't happen to everyone but smoking weed is linked to schizophrenia for one, so getting him off the weed is good. I think people with ASD can get addicted to drugs and alcohol as it's sort of self medicating for their anxiety and/or depression. So getting him off that would be great. It might help to replace it with something else, preferably something active.

Is there any physical activity he likes? Biking, swimming, hiking - things he can do on his own or join a club for some social connection without the pressure of performing in a team.
Even chess? I brought my youngest to a chess club for some of last year and it was 100% full of nerdy ASD people. Some chat but most didn't but it's good to get out of the house.
2 of mine do jujitsu which is another individual sport. I find these clubs and coaches are used to getting neurodiverse people and they are usually very kind, understanding and supportive of them.
Olympic weightlifting is an other one. Or Park runs, if you or your DH could go along with him at first to get him started. It can be hard turning up for the first few sessions especially if you are shy and don't get talking to people straight away.

Is there a remote workers hub nearby? I remote work now but was in the office for the first 17 years and while it's possible to make friends online in work it's absolutely not the same. I recently joined a remote working network group in my region and people meetup for walks and activities usually followed by a coffee and a bit of food somewhere. But small steps, anything at all to get him out of the house and get some physical activity and/or connect with someone would be a positive thing.

It's good that he is talking and recognising that he has a problem/is addicted.
Booking an appointment with the GP was a huge step, well done him.
I hope the GP is a decent one with addiction/youth experience and your DS gets the support and advice that he needs.
Would he like you or his dad to go along with him to the GP for support? Perhaps you could suggest that. But if he says no, accept it.

PS I'm sorry you had to go anon OP

Defo smoking all through the day and evening.
Was smoking at the side of the house until I found out and stopped that.
A long term relationship broke up last year and he was heart broken and then friends headin to Australia.
Will book the GP for him

Defo smoking all through the day and evening.
Was smoking at the side of the house until I found out and stopped that.
A long term relationship broke up last year and he was heart broken and then friends headin to Australia.
Will book the GP for him

I agree with going to the GP.

So sorry to read this, you are obviously worried sick.
It seems he's smoking more than just an odd joint and I'd imagine if he has excessive amounts throughout the day, this could be adding to his paranoia and affecting his mental health.
The positives in this are that your DS has told your DH so clearly knows he has a problem. And he's willing to take himself to the GP.
I'd probably advise one of you to ask if you can attend the GP with him, so the GP is getting a clear story. GP can refer him to the help he needs, or can refer him to inpatient care (if you've private health insurance can happen quicker).

What was he like before he started it. You mentioned irritable lately. Taking weed for some people can lead to mental health problems so if he didn't feel depressed before it could be the problem.
Definitely send him to the doctor. It's good he sees himself a problem. So many never do. I think too working from home for a 24 year old isn't great at all, especially if they don't have much hobbies or a big friend circle.

Sorry to hear this. What I would start with is the appointment with the GP especially if he feels he's bi polar. Would be really important to see the GP about that. And to talk about his smoking.

Autism - a good resource is https://asiam.ie/ Then take it from there assessment wise, if that's the road your DS wants to go.


It sounds like your DS is unhappy and if he has autism/bi polar getting a diagnosis would be a good start. It might explain to him why he feels like he does, why he feels the needs to smoke.

It's a good start that he told his Dad, he is obviously worried himself and is looking for help/guidance. He must know his smoking is out of control.

Ds is 24 told his dad he was coming weed and was spending approx 80 a week.
He is smoking it. Seems smokes before he goes to work and all evening long.
He has been incredibly irritable lately and depressed.
Has no real social life as he seems to spend on his money in weed.
I am at a loss how to help him. Has very little hobbies other than playing games online.
His job is working from home and the work isn’t motivating him.
He has booked an appointment with the GP but not sure how that will help.
Told me today thinks he is autistic and has BI polar. He is very immature for his age.

Don’t know how to help him as the smoking is out of control.