Seeing someone with a large age gap - younger man/older woman

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Expand view Topic review: Seeing someone with a large age gap - younger man/older woman

Seeing someone with a large age gap - younger man/older woman

by Angied » Sun Oct 15, 2023 7:19 pm

My Mam was 18 years older than my Dad, they met in London in 1970, Mam was 41 and Dad was only 23.
They weren’t together long when she got pregnant so they got married, she had me at 42 and my sister at 45, it lasted until he suddenly passed away when he was 60 and she passed away last year at 94,

she always looked much younger than her age and young in her ways of thinking, many times told me in her head she was still in her 20’s [emoji23]
There was a huge amount of people who were totally shocked at her age at her funeral,
I honestly don’t know how I’d feel if it was ds that met an older woman (he’s 27) but I suppose it wouldn’t be shocking to me.

At the end of the day if you’re both happy I think it’s irrelevant what anyone else thinks
We only have one life and if you make each other happy just go with it and enjoy it


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Re: Seeing someone with a large age gap - younger man/older woman

by Mrs chic » Sun Oct 15, 2023 7:14 pm

Why would you deny yourself some fun and happiness
Enjoy it day by day and let it transpire how it will.
If you fall for him and end up hurt you will have to lick your wounds and be content to move on.
If it works out (and only time will tell) you will be glad you took the chance on it.
As for work - as it gets more serious it would be best to move jobs (one or other of you)
Best of luck

Re: Seeing someone with a large age gap - younger man/older woman

by Smoke » Sun Oct 15, 2023 6:08 pm

Amarach wrote: ↑Sun Oct 15, 2023 5:47 pm
Cinquecento wrote: ↑Sun Oct 15, 2023 5:29 pm
DazedandConfused wrote: ↑Sun Oct 15, 2023 4:14 pm Do you think? I reckon there would be more disaproval where the woman is older
Yes. Very little disapproval in the Macron case. If it were a 39-year-old man dating a 15 year old girl there would be.
I've always that creepy especially as they met in the context where she was his teacher
Just reading about it there. When his parents complained and asked her to stop (when he was 16!😳) she pushed back and basically said no.

Re: Seeing someone with a large age gap - younger man/older woman

by Cinquecento » Sun Oct 15, 2023 5:48 pm

Amarach wrote: ↑Sun Oct 15, 2023 5:47 pm
Cinquecento wrote: ↑Sun Oct 15, 2023 5:29 pm
DazedandConfused wrote: ↑Sun Oct 15, 2023 4:14 pm Do you think? I reckon there would be more disaproval where the woman is older
Yes. Very little disapproval in the Macron case. If it were a 39-year-old man dating a 15 year old girl there would be.
I've always that creepy especially as they met in the context where she was his teacher
It’s very creepy

Re: Seeing someone with a large age gap - younger man/older woman

by Amarach » Sun Oct 15, 2023 5:47 pm

Cinquecento wrote: ↑Sun Oct 15, 2023 5:29 pm
DazedandConfused wrote: ↑Sun Oct 15, 2023 4:14 pm Do you think? I reckon there would be more disaproval where the woman is older
Yes. Very little disapproval in the Macron case. If it were a 39-year-old man dating a 15 year old girl there would be.
I've always that creepy especially as they met in the context where she was his teacher

Re: Seeing someone with a large age gap - younger man/older woman

by Cinquecento » Sun Oct 15, 2023 5:29 pm

DazedandConfused wrote: ↑Sun Oct 15, 2023 4:14 pm Do you think? I reckon there would be more disaproval where the woman is older
Yes. Very little disapproval in the Macron case. If it were a 39-year-old man dating a 15 year old girl there would be.

Re: Seeing someone with a large age gap - younger man/older woman

by Smoke » Sun Oct 15, 2023 4:42 pm

Older men with younger women is as old as the hills.
Some even have 2nd families when they meet younger women after being with somebody their own age and having adult children.
It doesn't work the other way around.
I'd worry for my young son if he found himself with an older partner who couldn't have children. He can always change his mind I suppose, as he has those decades. But emotionally it'd be hard to turn around to a partner approaching retirement age and telling them you're leaving because you want a family of your own. Which is also a situation I know personally know of. Tough situation all around after 20 years together..
It's very conflicting..

Re: Seeing someone with a large age gap - younger man/older woman

by tel » Sun Oct 15, 2023 4:26 pm

DazedandConfused wrote: ↑Sun Oct 15, 2023 4:14 pm Do you think? I reckon there would be more disaproval where the woman is older
i think this is definitely the case

Re: Seeing someone with a large age gap - younger man/older woman

by CockChoker » Sun Oct 15, 2023 4:23 pm

I would not like that for my sons.

Seeing someone with a large age gap - younger man/older woman

by DazedandConfused » Sun Oct 15, 2023 4:14 pm

Do you think? I reckon there would be more disaproval where the woman is older

Re: Seeing someone with a large age gap - younger man/older woman

by Cinquecento » Sun Oct 15, 2023 3:05 pm

Sparkly Pooh Bear wrote: ↑Sun Oct 08, 2023 11:20 pm If one of my sons dated someone older I think I'd be initially surprised but wouldnt be overly be bother (once it was a healthy caring relationship).

One of my school mates in school when he was 19-20 started going out with a woman over twice his age. They are still together and they seem to be a happy couple.

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Same with the President of France. Except he was 15 and his now wife a mother of three in her late 30s. Very creepy but surprisingly little reaction. If the position were reversed there’d be outcry.

Re: Seeing someone with a large age gap - younger man/older woman

by Smoke » Sun Oct 15, 2023 1:19 pm

You've asked us 2 things here

the first being what impartial people would think of this situation and

Impartially I would probably be fine with this. I know of a couple similar to this who have lasted decades. At this stage nobody bats an eyelid.

the second being peoples thoughts on being involved with someone from my workplace, even though I know every workplace is different so that might be harder to answer
I'm not currently in a workplace so I can't talk from my own present experience but I'd imagine there would be a few raised eyebrows at the age gap (I would think it'd be there even if the roles were reversed). But your workplace... well that's hard to say really as we don't know the environment. I'm sure that's a unique set of circumstances. Some places might frown on it depending on the power dynamics at play, and that in turn could foster resentment amongst your coworkers. But without more specifics it's hard to comment.

I'm not going to comment on my opinion if it were my child, as that is really between your OH and his family, and you seem to be fully aware of the optics of all of this and implications for all involved. Yet again the dynamic of your OH's family is unique to them.

Re: Seeing someone with a large age gap - younger man/older woman

by LucyS » Sun Oct 15, 2023 1:16 pm

Sparkly Pooh Bear wrote: ↑Sun Oct 08, 2023 11:20 pm One of my school mates in school when he was 19-20 started going out with a woman over twice his age. They are still together and they seem to be a happy couple.
Stockholm syndrome springs to mind. I know it is perfectly legal, but I would have serious concerns about a relationship between a 40+ year-old and a 19/20 year old.

Mid twenties is a very different matter.

Re: Seeing someone with a large age gap - younger man/older woman

by No1 babe » Sun Oct 15, 2023 12:44 pm

It’s no one else’s business except the two in the relationship , but if it was my son dating an older lady I certainly wouldn’t want it. It mightn’t make much difference now but when the fella is 50 and the lady will soon be turning pension age.

Re: Seeing someone with a large age gap - younger man/older woman

by Apple » Sun Oct 15, 2023 12:19 pm

Sally wrote: ↑Mon Oct 09, 2023 11:35 am
August wrote: ↑Mon Oct 09, 2023 8:11 am
Apple wrote: ↑Sun Oct 08, 2023 10:28 pm I don’t know but it seems to be common now. You have to stick to your age group or you’re a creep apparently.
Is this not just because they are so young? The younger you are the bigger an age gap feels? 18 to 23 seems a lot but 23 to 28 seems fine to me.
I’d agree.
Think it was ever thus.

Don’t know what age your DD and friends are Apple, but you’d imagine some life experience will bring different perspectives.

When I was 20, dating someone who was ten years older would have been shocking as 30 seemed absolutely ANCIENT!
But when I was 30 , dating a 40 yr old would have seemed much more normal.
Only seeing this now. I’m not sure to be honest but I definitely wasn’t as judgemental at that age. The friend couple of mine I mentioned were 20 and 30 when they started going out and I don’t think any of us were particularly bothered.

I think the current climate of me too and people being cancelled has fed into this. I work with two younger people who obviously fancy each other but he says she is too young. There’s 7 years between them.

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