Hi all , sadly my situation with my dd hasn’t improved. Was just browsing the boards and thought I’d give an update .
I see the last message in Jan a poster mentioned time being a healer , and it’s very true . It has helped soften things a little .
On a personal level , between January and now , well , sadly I turned to alcohol to try and numb everything, of course we all know that’s putting oil on a fire .
I drank maybe 5 days a week , starting at 11 am and finishing when I was out cold on the sofa .
My other dd often came in from school and found me like this , as did dh . It must have been intolerable for them , but it didn’t stop me . I honestly just wanted to die . Nothing mattered , and the more I drank the more I didn’t want to live . So I drank , would wake , go to bed and repeat . I knew it was hurting sh and dd but I couldn’t be sober . I never craved alcohol , I just wanted to be drunk and not remember the day .
It was absolutely horrific , for all of us . I hid bottles of wine all over the house thinking no one would notice
I had terrible rows with dh , I even punched him , and still he stood by me and tried to help while trying to deal with his own sadness of losing contact with our dd .
My youngest dd failed all her summer exams , and still I was in my own little world of self pity and getting drunk . Still no contact with my eldest dd .
She finished college and left my sisters without a thank you or a goodbye .
Her exam results were posted to the house , I kept them for a few weeks , got drunk one day and opened them ( she did very well ) that same day she text me to say she’d call for them , honestly, Murphy law , you couldn’t make it up . I had to tell her I returned them to the college , she sent a terrible abusive text .
I don’t know where she’s living , working etc . I think in our home town because a friend of mine saw her locally one day .
She has ignored all family birthdays , ignored the fact both her elderly grandparents were very ill in hospital.
She text my sis last month to say she’d be staying in October for her graduation, my sister just said , sorry , you’re not welcome to stay .
So , maybe the start of July , I was drinking , it was lunch time and I was alone . I was really at rock bottom . I was scrolling Facebook and came across a hypnotherapy advertisement, for drinking amongst other things . I bought it and as simple as , I haven’t drank since . I promise it’s not an advertisement
So of course not drinking , my depression lifted , my anxiety went . I was able to control my emotions, my beautiful dd and dh did not have to return home from school / work and wonder if I was going to be dead .
Life isn’t perfect now , but I am so much better . I would give my life to see my dd , even a happy text from her . We will all love her until the day we die . Maybe someday soon she will realise that . I have missed out on so much of her life and her ours , but I can’t change it . Hope everyone else is keeping well , and take it from me , don’t ever , ever turn to booze to help a bad situation.
Hi all , sadly my situation with my dd hasn’t improved. Was just browsing the boards and thought I’d give an update .
I see the last message in Jan a poster mentioned time being a healer , and it’s very true . It has helped soften things a little .
On a personal level , between January and now , well , sadly I turned to alcohol to try and numb everything, of course we all know that’s putting oil on a fire .
I drank maybe 5 days a week , starting at 11 am and finishing when I was out cold on the sofa .
My other dd often came in from school and found me like this , as did dh . It must have been intolerable for them , but it didn’t stop me . I honestly just wanted to die . Nothing mattered , and the more I drank the more I didn’t want to live . So I drank , would wake , go to bed and repeat . I knew it was hurting sh and dd but I couldn’t be sober . I never craved alcohol , I just wanted to be drunk and not remember the day .
It was absolutely horrific , for all of us . I hid bottles of wine all over the house thinking no one would notice 🙄 I had terrible rows with dh , I even punched him , and still he stood by me and tried to help while trying to deal with his own sadness of losing contact with our dd .
My youngest dd failed all her summer exams , and still I was in my own little world of self pity and getting drunk . Still no contact with my eldest dd .
She finished college and left my sisters without a thank you or a goodbye .
Her exam results were posted to the house , I kept them for a few weeks , got drunk one day and opened them ( she did very well ) that same day she text me to say she’d call for them , honestly, Murphy law , you couldn’t make it up . I had to tell her I returned them to the college , she sent a terrible abusive text .
I don’t know where she’s living , working etc . I think in our home town because a friend of mine saw her locally one day .
She has ignored all family birthdays , ignored the fact both her elderly grandparents were very ill in hospital.
She text my sis last month to say she’d be staying in October for her graduation, my sister just said , sorry , you’re not welcome to stay .
So , maybe the start of July , I was drinking , it was lunch time and I was alone . I was really at rock bottom . I was scrolling Facebook and came across a hypnotherapy advertisement, for drinking amongst other things . I bought it and as simple as , I haven’t drank since . I promise it’s not an advertisement 😀
So of course not drinking , my depression lifted , my anxiety went . I was able to control my emotions, my beautiful dd and dh did not have to return home from school / work and wonder if I was going to be dead .
Life isn’t perfect now , but I am so much better . I would give my life to see my dd , even a happy text from her . We will all love her until the day we die . Maybe someday soon she will realise that . I have missed out on so much of her life and her ours , but I can’t change it . Hope everyone else is keeping well , and take it from me , don’t ever , ever turn to booze to help a bad situation.