heymammy.com

If these people are tenants, I'd try to get them evicted. If they are owners, then I'd move. A friendly chat isn't going to make them change their ways. They know exactly what they are doing and don't care.

Stripy wrote: ↑Thu Dec 15, 2022 9:57 pm Naybrr, it sounds very intimidating and you are obviously worried about consequences. Would your DH be able to say sorry I lost the head but I was frustrated at not being able to park.

This doesn't work with people like them - they are bullies and apologising would just be seen as a sign of weakness and an invitation for them to walk all over you.

its ok for everyone to say move but maybe its a family home for generations or like many wouldnt be able to afford to move. I would see if you could talk to them calmly one day and just tell them that the stress levels build when you arent able to access your property. Check your deeds and see who owns the lane, just because its off the main road doesnt mean its a private road.
take pics with times and dates for yourselves of any obstructions so if it does escalate you will have some proof.
Good suggestion from someone if you have the means to make a parking space for yourselves so if they are blocking you you still have someone to park.

We had neighbours that were horrendous and caused trouble for everyone... had the armed gardai and helicopter one day .... jeez i really did want to move but thankfully they left (taking everything and i mean everything with them).
Any chance they are renting? and a complaint could be made to their landlord?

Moving isn't an option unfortunately. Both properties have been in the families for a few generations.
Painful and all as the neighbours are, ignoring them has worked up to this point. DH was referred to as a "blow in" yesterday! Facing them down is pointless with these idiots. You are just sinking to their level.
DH gets this when we chat about it but in the heat of the moment, he needs to be able to not react. He is just playing into their hands.
I am looking into CCTV today. I hate that they are dictating parts of our life. I hate them, full stop.

Cinquecento wrote: ↑Fri Dec 16, 2022 12:46 am

Nodrog wrote: ↑Thu Dec 15, 2022 5:55 pm You lost me at *has a fiery temper at the best of times*.
This is not normal.
Where does he work?
Does he lose his shit in work/with pals/relatives? No?
Then he can control his temper but chooses not to when it suits him.

It must be very frightening walking on eggshells which it sounds like you are doing.

Have you sat down and told him how his behaviour makes you feel?

I’d consider it quite normal actually dealing with people who put nails in your tyres and you suspect poisoned your dog. It’s actually ok to lose your rag with scumbags like that.

I’d also move. I couldn’t be dealing with knackers like that.

My response was based on the Original post.
She didn't mention all of the other issues with the neighbours!
OP I would move, they sound nuts.

Nodrog wrote: ↑Thu Dec 15, 2022 5:55 pm You lost me at *has a fiery temper at the best of times*.
This is not normal.
Where does he work?
Does he lose his shit in work/with pals/relatives? No?
Then he can control his temper but chooses not to when it suits him.

It must be very frightening walking on eggshells which it sounds like you are doing.

Have you sat down and told him how his behaviour makes you feel?

I’d consider it quite normal actually dealing with people who put nails in your tyres and you suspect poisoned your dog. It’s actually ok to lose your rag with scumbags like that.

I’d also move. I couldn’t be dealing with knackers like that.

jammymammy wrote: ↑Thu Dec 15, 2022 11:18 pm

Sally wrote: ↑Thu Dec 15, 2022 10:39 pmMove.

Anybody who looks at the house and is interested will be deterred by the shared driveway. Solicitor will advise against.

I'd imagine that quite a lot of shared lane ways in rural setting are taken in charge by local councils at this stage. There are where I'm from anyway.
You allow the council access and in turn they maintain it - i dont know if title changes though. It's a very common situation and I've never seen shared ownership create issues for change of title of a property in these situations. Taken in charge I think is the term.

I can understand how your DH lost the rag and why he might have a temper - I can only imagine living with this is extremely stressful.
Who owns the road? Is it a public road? I thought someone would have to own the road if it was not public?

I’m assuming it’s a rural set up where there is a lane that leads just to their two houses so is shared


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When you say a shared driveway do you mean in a housing estate? So you are in a semi and share with the neighbours not attached?

Or is it something else?

If it’s in an estate could you get your front garden paved so you can park there? We had this set up growing up and a lot of the neighbours had issues with it.

I know what it’s like to fall out with neighbours it’s so stressful.

I’m sure it had been though about but is there any way to separate the driveway. Growing up we had one and it worked because the older couple next to us had no car and we only had one but I can’t imagine what it would have been like if we hadn’t have got on or they were assholes. I could imagine my dad being like your DH.

We had a shared garden with the neighbours on the other side but when their grandkids got a bit older my parents must have agreed to put up a fence as it’s hard to tell kids about an imaginary boundary.

Back to your dilemma - if you can’t separate the driveway. It doesn’t sound like talking calmly to these people works either and they will retaliate in their petty way. I think I’d be calling into the guards and just lodging the issues you’ve mentioned in case it escalates. I’m sorry you are going through this.


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Sally wrote: ↑Thu Dec 15, 2022 10:39 pmMove.

Anybody who looks at the house and is interested will be deterred by the shared driveway. Solicitor will advise against.

I cant blame your dh for losing the rag, but personally I think I'd try to move house.
I know you say you need to live there but this situation isn't healthy.
In the meantime I'd be logging everything i could with the gardai. The neighbour is quite comfortable threatening you and damaging your property. This is the type of stuff that you read in the papers about, usually escalating then ending with violence.

That’s horrendous op, I absolutely couldn’t live with neighbours like that. The stress of it. I can’t blame your dh for losing the head as he probably has it up to his neck at this stage but if you are worried about the implications this will have maybe you need to go to the guards.

Move.