Clusterf#ck

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Expand view Topic review: Clusterf#ck

Re: Clusterf#ck

by tippexile » Thu Jun 16, 2022 3:34 pm

Well done on getting the protection order. Don't be hard on yourself, you are obviously a kind and caring person who wanted to give him a chance to redeem.himself. As for being in denial, I think we all have been in circumstances where we have turned a blind eye or denied something was happening because it's too painful to admit it. It's true what they say it's the hope that kills you. Take care.

Re: Clusterf#ck

by Elsie » Thu Jun 16, 2022 2:31 pm

at least you have recognised it was denial. We all want everything to run smoothly and be like every other family - even though every family have their own sh*t to deal with that we know nothing about. You gave him all the chances in the world but once he raised a hand, thats it - game over. The messages..... hes been at that for years - sending normal messages, pretending that nothings happened, that yesterday has been forgotten about. I dont know you but from what i read here you are very strong and resilient. and yes keep all the messages - that will eventually show a pattern.

wishing you all the best for the court hearing. x

Re: Clusterf#ck

by Guest » Wed Jun 15, 2022 1:40 pm

Thanks all.

I just don't comprehend how it came to this. I would give anything to know what on earth is going on in his head. He has skipped the remorse stage of this, so I won't ever be getting any sort of explanation.

I amn't going to block hisessages yet. As he is just next door, they help give me a sense of what form he is in and if he sends more abusive ones it will just help me in court.

The messages I really don't understand are the ones where he acts as if things are normal. However, it is giving me a better insight into how I lived in denial about the drinking for so long.

Re: Clusterf#ck

by Shining » Wed Jun 15, 2022 9:57 am

Very good point. He is fully responsible for the consequences of his actions.
If he is going to send you abusive messages then I would consider blocking him and he can email you or use a third party.

Re: Clusterf#ck

by Novbaby31 » Wed Jun 15, 2022 2:58 am

None of this is easy, I really admire your strength and grace in dealing with this. You have done everything you can with regards to your DH, now it is time to focus and your needs and the kids needs and leave him to deal with the consequences of his actions.

Re: Clusterf#ck

by mcmammy2 » Tue Jun 14, 2022 10:40 pm

Well done. Hope you have good support IRL. You can do this

Re: Clusterf#ck

by Carmella » Tue Jun 14, 2022 10:16 pm

Well done.

Re: Clusterf#ck

by Unnamed Poster 8 » Tue Jun 14, 2022 9:14 pm

Post Deleted

Re: Clusterf#ck

by Shining » Tue Jun 14, 2022 9:13 pm

Definitely. Well done

Re: Clusterf#ck

by Tobo » Tue Jun 14, 2022 9:01 pm

I've no advice or anything but wanted to say you are so brave and your kids are lucky to have you as their mum.

Re: Clusterf#ck

by Done » Tue Jun 14, 2022 10:11 am

I got a protection order yesterday. It was a bit nerve wracking but I got great help from the local domestic violence support service. As they predicted, he wasn't happy about it. I got a message last night after he was served with it, accusing me of lying in my statement. Well, he'll have his chance to tell his side to the court in 3 weeks.

I am hoping it won't be necessary to have the 14 year old give evidence at the full hearing, but they are more than happy to do so. They are staying with my parents at the moment and have had no contact from their father in over a week.

Re: Clusterf#ck

by Millie » Tue Jun 07, 2022 9:57 pm

I’m sorry to read about all you have had to endure Done. You have tried so hard. I hope you really up the self care in the next few months. Thank you for sharing your storyX

Re: Clusterf#ck

by Shining » Tue Jun 07, 2022 9:35 pm

I'm sorry to read this. I'd urge you to contact womens aid and ask for the local domestic violence support group in your area (where I live it's not women's aid) but it will support you in the barring order and also support your child and yourself (many have programmes for children who experienced violence in the home).

Re: Clusterf#ck

by mcmammy2 » Tue Jun 07, 2022 6:37 pm

Sorry to read the update. You have done all you can. You are right to move away and stay away. Hope like others have said you have a strong support network.

Re: Clusterf#ck

by Minion » Tue Jun 07, 2022 2:00 pm

I'm so sorry to read your update. Follow through on that barring order asap and document everything, take photos etc. I hope you have family and /or friends nearby who can support you. Stay strong, you're an amazing, brave woman who's coped with so much, you are a very strong person.

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