by poshspice » Tue Dec 28, 2021 11:16 am
farmer me wrote: ↑Tue Dec 28, 2021 10:16 am
Alcohol is so easily available 4 euro a bottle for wine in aldi and lidl etc.
Minimum unit pricing is finally coming in from January I think so hopefully that will mo longer be the case.
Op, so sorry you're going through this. Christmas is particularly hard when you live with someone who is addicted or abusing alcohol or other substances. The mistake the non addicted person makes is expecting normal logic from their partner (Iike for example your plan with the bottle of wine per night and saving the really nice one for Christmas day). That is perfectly sensible and reasonable to someone who isn't addicted but to someone who is it means nothing because they're operating on alcoholic logic. For now, try to get through the next few days to new year and then start taking stock of where you are and where you go from here. Your h definitely sounds alcoholic but the label isn't important right now. His drinking is having a hugely negative impact on you and your children and that's the focus. First things first, find your local alanon meeting. There's one in most towns or within 5/10 miles. There you'll meet other people in similar situations to you, they'll speak the same language as you and understand all you're going through.You'll learn how to start focusing on you, how to set healthy boundaries and how to detach emotionally from the destructive behaviour Your h may or may not get sober but either way you'll get the strength to make whatever changes and decisions you need for you. Alanon saved my sanity 20 years ago when I first started going. I hated Christmas back then, it was pure survival for me from start to finish. My dh is sober coming up to 14 years now, I'd never have believed that possible then but it started with me no longer taking responsibility for keeping him sober and finally accepting that I'd be OK if he didn't, that was terrifying and I didn't get there overnight but I got there eventually and so did he. I gave him many ultimatums but he didn't take any notice as experience had taught him I wouldn't follow through so my advice would be only issue ultimatums that you will 100% fulfil. They listen to what we do and we listen to what they say...it should be the other way around.
You're not alone in this, reach out for support and break your isolation There's loads of help out there if you can find the courage to ask . Feel free to pm if you want to chat.
[quote="farmer me" post_id=1455964 time=1640682979 user_id=1708]
Alcohol is so easily available 4 euro a bottle for wine in aldi and lidl etc.
[/quote]
Minimum unit pricing is finally coming in from January I think so hopefully that will mo longer be the case.
Op, so sorry you're going through this. Christmas is particularly hard when you live with someone who is addicted or abusing alcohol or other substances. The mistake the non addicted person makes is expecting normal logic from their partner (Iike for example your plan with the bottle of wine per night and saving the really nice one for Christmas day). That is perfectly sensible and reasonable to someone who isn't addicted but to someone who is it means nothing because they're operating on alcoholic logic. For now, try to get through the next few days to new year and then start taking stock of where you are and where you go from here. Your h definitely sounds alcoholic but the label isn't important right now. His drinking is having a hugely negative impact on you and your children and that's the focus. First things first, find your local alanon meeting. There's one in most towns or within 5/10 miles. There you'll meet other people in similar situations to you, they'll speak the same language as you and understand all you're going through.You'll learn how to start focusing on you, how to set healthy boundaries and how to detach emotionally from the destructive behaviour Your h may or may not get sober but either way you'll get the strength to make whatever changes and decisions you need for you. Alanon saved my sanity 20 years ago when I first started going. I hated Christmas back then, it was pure survival for me from start to finish. My dh is sober coming up to 14 years now, I'd never have believed that possible then but it started with me no longer taking responsibility for keeping him sober and finally accepting that I'd be OK if he didn't, that was terrifying and I didn't get there overnight but I got there eventually and so did he. I gave him many ultimatums but he didn't take any notice as experience had taught him I wouldn't follow through so my advice would be only issue ultimatums that you will 100% fulfil. They listen to what we do and we listen to what they say...it should be the other way around.
You're not alone in this, reach out for support and break your isolation There's loads of help out there if you can find the courage to ask . Feel free to pm if you want to chat.